Making delusions of grandeur "real" on Internet

[Nonameanymore]

Kathy LOL at the ballerina photos!!!

[JustKathy]

I know. Sad. That's how she sees herself. She had dreams of being a star, and it didn't happen, so she hangs the photos everywhere and spins yarns about being a prima ballerina, but "choosing" to quit so she could raise a family. Years later, when she tried to open a talent agency, she would tell her prospective clients that she had a fabulous career as a dancer. I don't think she did it more than a year, but it's one of her delusions of grandeur. She believes that she was a great dancer, destined for stardom. Blech.

[Nonameanymore]

I can certainly identify with that. She used to tell people that she had the prime minister over for dinner etc.. Geez, I had completely blocked that out...

[JustKathy]

The worst of it is when they make you feel guilty for taking their dream from them. "I was destined for greatness, but gave it all up to raise YOU."

[sKePTiKal]

Kathy - that's when I refuse the guilt with a dripping in sarcasm...

"thanks for making me feel so wanted & special, Mom".

[mudpuppy]

SIL came back from this trip convinced that she was the new Steve Irwin.

Has she ever shown any interest in sting rays that you could encourage?

mud

[JustKathy]

 

[JustKathy]

I really believe that Ns are able to convince themselves that their delusions of grandeur are real. One of the traits of an N is that they expect to be treated as if their delusions/dreams have materialized. I think that may be largely because in their mind, it IS real. To other family members, especially their victims, the N is clearly delusional, but the N sees things much differently.

In my SIL's case, her delusion is a pretty dangerous one. She believes that she's a wildlife handler. I do feel that her getting harmed by one of these animals is inevitable. And when it happens, I won't shed a tear. Normally, I wouldn't wish harm on anyone, but in her case, as wicked as she is, what can I say? Karma is a b!tch.

[mudpuppy]

I really believe that Ns are able to convince themselves that their delusions of grandeur are real.

I've always struggled with that question and usually come down on the side that Ns deep down do not believe their delusions, otherwise why all the calculations and manipulations and lies to cover up their behaviors?
Your SIL on the other hand if she is schizophrenic probably does believe them. Schizophrenics don't go to nearly the deceptive lengths, if they go to any at all, to deceive others about their delusions because they often believe them to be real.
Ns get upset when we challenge their delusions because it threatens the false facade they have carefully crafted to cover their perceived inadequacies.
Psychotics get upset when we challenge their delusions because we can't see what they perceive to be real.

Others opinions may (and no doubt will) vary from mine. That's OK since out here in the real world we know that opinions are just that, and not a reality everyone else must validate.

mud

[CB123]

Mudpuppy,

I think you are right.  My sense about N's is that they work very very hard to convince people of the mask--since their perceptions of THEMSELVES is dependent on having that mirrored back to them.  They dont have any internal certainty of who they are, so they are at the mercy of how people see them.  That's why they rage when we refuse to play the game.  Their very life depends on it.  Unless one of them is actively making my life miserable, I tend to see them as rather pathetic more than as someone evil.

The internet is the perfect venue for this kind of mirroring.  Who will know if they are who they say they are?  Most people read the internet with a lot more credibiilty than they should anyway.  I think a lot of N's abandon 3D relationships, with their inherent risk of being unmasked, for cyber relationships that allow them to be whomever they want to be.

Love it whenever you post, Mud.   

CB

[swimmer]

In my childhood my NM and GC used to carry on these delusional, imaginary "relationships", with famous people.  They never met Larry Bird from the Celtics, but I feel we all had.... talking about his injuries and this and that about whatever piece of his personality they could get from TV.  They would talk about Larry Bird as if he was an old friend, for hours and hours!! 

[mudpuppy]

I think a lot of N's abandon 3D relationships, with their inherent risk of being unmasked, for cyber relationships that allow them to be whomever they want to be.

From your mouth to God's ear, CB.
At least on the internet we can hit delete and stuff em in the recycle bin. And we don't even need a lawyer on retainer to do it.

mud

[JustKathy]

I've always struggled with that question and usually come down on the side that Ns deep down do not believe their delusions, otherwise why all the calculations and manipulations and lies to cover up their behaviors?

That's a really good point. My NM tries ridiculously hard to ram her importance down people's throats, and constantly reminds everyone around her of whatever it is that she's doing to command respect. A few years ago she became one of those senior volunteers at the police station, and they gave her this stupid fake badge. OMG, every ten minutes. Every sentence ended in, "after all, I have a badge." I. HAVE. A. BADGE. Photos of her wearing the badge. The badge prominently on display in the house. You get the idea.

CB, totally agree that people are WAY too naive about what they read on the Internet. Someone posts a photo on their Facebook page, and everyone just assumes that it's them. The Internet is filled with sex offenders and predators, yet still people believe that someone's blog, or facebook profile, or whatever, is accurate and truthful. If you want to try and fool someone, the Internet is THE place to do it.

[Hopalong]

Immortal line from the movie Blazing Saddles:

We don' need no steenking badges!

I had friends who'd say that to each other now and then for a decade, and fall over laughing every time.

You've hit on something there, Kathy!

hugs
Hops

[JustKathy]

We don' need no steenking badges

YUP!