Too simple for this site

[Logy]

Sometimes I have a hard time following the posts here.  I see others who seem to get it and can share a dialogue.  I appreciate the insights of those who are more educated than me.  But sometimes I feel just lost.  Does anyone else feel the same?

[Ami]

Sweetie
 ANYTHING that comes from your heart is worth as much as a million perfect words!!!              X o X o    Ami

[JustKathy]

Yup! I do sometimes feel lost on some of the longer threads. If I can catch a thread near the start, it's much easier for me. Also, not all threads "click" with me. Sometimes I'll read something that I completely relate too, and other times not. But that's totally okay. We all have our own unique situations with our Ns, and not every thread is right for every person. For example, I don't have children, so usually don't contribute to the threads where people have concerns about their N parents interacting with their own children. I have nothing to offer, not having had the experiences myself. It has nothing to do with anyone's level of education. It's about who we are, where we've been, and what we relate to.

Just be yourself. As victims of Ns, we have been made to feel uncomfortable for most of our lives. The last thing I want (and I think others would agree) is for anyone to feel uncomfortable here. If you read something that you find confusing, just ask. I've been on this board for several years, and I've never felt more welcome anywhere than I do here. Good people on this board.  

[JustKathy]

ANYTHING that comes from your heart is worth as much as a million perfect words!!!   

Okay. Ami said in one sentence what I struggled to get out in two paragraphs. Perfectly said!

[HeartofPilgrimage]

Logy, often I don't reply to everything posted here ... not because I don't care about the person posting, but because I am not getting what the person is trying to say. I respond when I understand what is written and when I feel I have something to contribute, and just don't respond when I don't get it. Please don't feel alone in this ... part of it may be all of our different experiences (many of which are very difficult to explain), and part of it may be that we come from all over the English-speaking world ... even within the U.S., people can easily misunderstand one another because of the different regional ways of expressing themselves. I just abide by what a preacher once told me, "Reading is like eating watermelon ... you swallow the good part and spit out the seeds!"

[Sealynx]

Logy,
Often when I reply to something it is because it helps me to verbalize something the thread has brought up. Its personal but it may help someone else so I think its worth writing about. Some threads don't bring up anything for me. It doesn't mean they aren't valid they just aren't where I'm at. I think you may be feeling like that. It is not so much about understanding as it is resonance.
S

[Logy]

Thank you to everyone.  Everyone for your support.  And your kind words.  Reading everyone's posts brought me to tears.  When I read something that I don't get and that I don't have an answer, a solution for that person, I feel like I am a failure.  I'm supposed to fix everything, make everyone happy. 

People being free to express themselves. And free to not be judged is still hard to wrap my arms around.  Every time I respond to a thread, I wait to see who will tell me that I don't know what I am talking about.  That everyone else is smarter than me. 

So I just read back over my comments.  I'm supposed to "fix everything" but then "everyone else is smarter than me".  How is a stupid person supposed to make everyone else better?  I wish I had some good words to summarize my feelings right now.  But I think I might have just expressed myself.   

[Gaining Strength]

When I read something that I don't get and that I don't have an answer, a solution for that person, I feel like I am a failure.  I'm supposed to fix everything, make everyone happy. 

Wow - I can relate to both parts of that statement.  I think that concept of feeling like you are supposed to fix everything is very common among family member of Narcissists.  It is so painful and self-destructive.  But the good news is that we can definitely overcome this.

I think of it as a boundary issue and remind myself to "give it back" to the person who it belongs to.  It is not an instantaneous cure but I have made great progress in this area.  I believe you can too.

People being free to express themselves. And free to not be judged is still hard to wrap my arms around.  Every time I respond to a thread, I wait to see who will tell me that I don't know what I am talking about.

I expect some sort of negative post to most of my own posts.  I don't get many but it is a constant fear.  It is that inner critical voice so well trained by my Ns and I am working to recognize that that voice does not belong to me. Logy - you are in such good company here.  Even if someone were to tell you something rude like that there would be so many more here who want to read what you have to say.  You are valuable here.

[debkor]

Hi Logy,

There are times when I read and think...Oh boy, what the hell are they talking about...then I read it, re-read it, look somethings up..think oh, ah, oh look at this..oh wow ..or at times still think...what they hell are they talking about BUT  with all each and everyone on this board ....I see all...teachers.  I have learned more things then I ever possibly thought I ever could have.

Sometimes I can struggle to follow for there are so many Wise, Wise, way ahead of me...Explorers...that I  back to...the read, reread, um what...to oh wow!

Love
Deb

[sKePTiKal]

Hey Logy, another thing to this might be when the person posting doesn't exactly know what they're getting at or have the right words to make an idea coherent to others. Some of my posts surely fall into that category! And sometimes I just have too many words to "get out of the way" first - before I finally get to what it is I'm trying to say.

S'OK...

[Ami]

Dear Logy
 Just take baby steps in sharing your heart--little by little.                        x o x o      Ami

[Sealynx]

"So I just read back over my comments.  I'm supposed to "fix everything" but then "everyone else is smarter than me".  How is a stupid person supposed to make everyone else better?"

Logy there are many people on this website at many different levels of growth and healing. There are also times when people disagree completely on an answer, allowing the questioner to see both sides. I think every answer is often the answer for someone, even if it doesn't "fix" anything. Sometimes it just reminds them of something that happened which comes up in another thread as a major topic.

 I'm a college professor who relies on a strong logical mind to make a living and I always enjoy your posts and feel they are valuable. Some posts can involve long articles and those can be a challenging read, but when I respond to one like that I don't usually respond to the whole thing, just the "ah-ha" parts for me if there are any. When a post leaves me cold it is not because there is something wrong with it or me, its just not an issue for me. If it doesn't resonate with you, you don't need to feel like you missed something. Someone else just zinged on a part of it. Good for them!

[Portia]

Logy

Education, long posts, big words and fancy ideas do not make a bullshit-free person. Many times they make the exact opposite.

King's new clothes.

Also I am quite nuts and happy with it in case you hadn't worked that one out! 

[Baddaughter]

Logy,

Take what you need -- leave the rest -- I've found your posts to be particularly illuminating as parts of your story seem the same as mine.   You've helped me so much! 
Biddy

[river]

I feel I may be one of the culprits here!   My problem being that I think, and I think, and i think, first thing in the morning, and all thro the day.  So much that I dont know where I put what I had in my hand a few seconds ago, or why I came into a room at all. 
I've almost thought myself off the planet, or at least beyond contact with other humans.  When I try to say something and people dont understand I feel embarrassed, like I must be way off, not to be able to use simple language.   Like it has been said here, the best things are simply said and recognisable to many.