You know, the doctors have to tell you there is a chance that it could go badly, but that is a very slim chance. Any operation carries a chance for problems. But if they feel you are a candidate for surgery, that is good news.
Absolutely. Even when you have cosmetic surgery, they have to warn you that you might not survive. There are risks inherent with general anesthesia, and they're required to tell you that. But Beth is right. They would not be performing surgery if there wasn't hope for recovery.
I've posted about this elsewhere, but just want you to know that I understand what you're goping through with your NM, as I have a similar situation going on right now with my family. My 48-year-old sister has been battling breast cancer for several years. My NM also has cancer, and is LIVID that her daughter had the audacity to get cancer and take attention away from her. I've not been able to learn what my sister's prognosis is because S won't return my calls or emails on NMs orders. I've called my father, and he shrugs it off and says "For Pete's sake, quit worrying about your sister. She's fine. You should be worried about your MOTHER." It's all about HER.
I managed to contact a cousin, who talked to his mother (NMs sister), and he (cousin) told me that my sister was having serious complications, and that both NM and F were mistreating her because her cancer was usurping my mother's. NM is 75 years old, and lived the life of Riley. For 55 years my father has doted on her and catered to her every whim. My sister has so much left to live for. She has yet to marry. I'm REALLY worried that she won't make it, not because the cancer is incurable, but because of the toxic situation that my parents have placed her in.
I SO agree with the others that you need to stay as far away from your M as possible. I know how badly you want her to change. I have that same dream - that one day she'll realize how wrong she was, and apologize, and be the mother that she should have been for 50 years. But that isn't going to happen. These people can't change. They go to their graves insisting that they were right, and we were flawed. Stress is a terrible, deadly thing. You can beat this cancer, but you're going to need love and support to get there. Don't let your NM poison you. You CAN beat this Kelly. You have friends, and people who love you. Sadly, your mother isn't one of those people.
Maybe this will put a grin on your face. I had a will drawn up years ago, just as a precaution. If I was killed in a plane crash, I didn't want NM swooping in and taking my money. We left all of our money to charity, and personal posessions to family members. (You fill out a form specifying what items should go to whom). I left all of my valuable possessions to my sister. I left ONE item to my mother: my copy of "Toxic Parents."
