My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .

[VVVCM]

Hello Board.

The problems I've been reading in the Romper Room and the other Ramble thread appear to be fairly obvious to me. Also simple to deal with as a board. I think we should have a vote about whether CG should stay or leave.

Phoenix doesn't seem to have any real problem with Portia apart from CG. The conflict is mainly CG centred.

Portia doesn't have any real problem with Phoenix apart from CG. And ditto. Portia seems to be mainly in confict with Phoenix regarding CG.

This conflict has been raging on regularly and exhaustingly for many months now.

I wonder about the Newbies finding this forum at times like this. Newbies who are hurting and need a place to talk. I wonder if they might go away with a very wrong impression of what this forum is all about.

So it seems to me that the problem here, still    is really created by CG and her presence as a participant on this forum.

It's also worth recognising that Phoenix contributes ppostively to many people here and Portia contributes positively to many people here also.

And CG doesn't.  CG by her own admission stays in the Ramble thread and contributes to just a few. And sometimes inappropriately. Personally, I think that CG's style doesn't fit the ethos of this board.

I think this recurring problem and negative energy the board is experiencing, which isn't doing anyone any good, would be easily solved if CG would consider the good of the board and the newbies and leave. I'm sure there are other boards she can go to. Boards who don't mind that style.

Just wanted to open this up to the board to discussion and a vote.

My vote is that CG should leave.

Signed
Very Very Very Concerned Member

[Anonymous]

Ellie - Not logged in

What if a new section is created on the main menu under Reading material for MISC postings. This exists on several message board - a place for people who want to chat or rant about things not necessarily associated with the main topic. This allows folks to stay who have been here for a while, made friendships and want to remain with this board, but have a Misc place to just chat. That way the folder is not included with these posts, so it does not scare off newbies, but we don't have to run anyone off. Ramble and Romper Room threads can be moved there. We all have the ability to join in if we want, everyone already posting there still remains, all is well with the world. Then if topics are created that begin to resemble these threads on the main message board, they too can be moved over.

Because we do not really know anyone's status, I think it would be harmful to run anyone off unless it can be proven they are a mole, spy, trouble maker, grunt, whatever you want to call it. We do not have the ability to prove that.

Just MHO  

[Solace]

Great Idea Ellie!!

Bannish those who you feel superior to to some other place!!

Fantastic!!

Watch what you say or you'll get "removed" too!!!

The consideration is nice but the concept condones control.

Control who posts where.

Control who speaks what.

Control who is allowed to abuse who.

Yep.

Control again.

BE off!!  To the chat board with ya!!

wtf???

My vote:

CG Stays
Portia Stays
Solace Stays
Everybody stays
Whoever doesn't want to--goes.

Or: You go chat with your buds in the new "area of the board"

but put up a big sign:

"THOSE WHO DO NOT MEET THE SCRIPT ARE EXCLUDED HERE.
 DON'T EVEN KNOCK ON THE DOOR.
 YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED IN.
 YOU ARE NOT AS GOOD AS US AND
 DON'T DARE EVEN THINK YOU ARE!!!"

Ofcourse, I won't sing MY name.

[Solace]

Ofcourse, my posts are just soo noticable anyway.

[Anonymous]

Definition:  solace to console - to make cheerful, to allay or soothe, alleviation of grief or anxiety
 

The name you've chosen and what you're doing on this board is an oxymoron.

[Dee]

I second that emotion Guest.

Why not do as Ellie suggested. It seems reasonable to me. I don't have the perception that S does. I don't see anything to offend at all. And then we wouldn't have to see it when we get on the board. Thanks, Ellie.

Dee

[les]

I agree Ellie - it is important to keep the board as welcoming and friendly as possible. Even for an old timer like me (6 months) Romper and Ramble remind me too much of the out of control hostile behaviour from Nm.

Generally I don't read R and R but when I do I actually shake. I don't feel safe.

I never would have had the courage to post if I'd read these threads in the beginning.  IMO this isn't so much about control as it is about creating a safe environment, particularly for the newbies who are testing the waters. It's a scary time. If controls are necessary to achieve a relatively safe haven then so be it.  

The other option of course is to simply not read these threads.  I need to heed my own advice.

Les

[Anonymous]

Great Idea Ellie!!

Bannish those who you feel superior to to some other place!!

Fantastic!!

Watch what you say or you'll get "removed" too!!!

The consideration is nice but the concept condones control.

Control who posts where.

Control who speaks what.

Control who is allowed to abuse who.

Yep.

Control again.

BE off!! To the chat board with ya!!

wtf???

Your are jumping on the wrong person  solace/somebody.   Ellie was not the one who started this thread, nor was she the one you should leave this forum.  That was VVVCM.   Ellie's  idea of  creating another section for misc. chat is a very good idea considering all the crap that is going down now.  

Before you crawl up someone's bum, make sure you've got the right person solace/somebody.  

[Ellie]

Dear, dear Solace ,

Someone really must have hurt you badly to jump on my ass that bad. If you read my posting again you will see I did not say banish in any way - but at this very moment I feel like when I have attempted to explain myself to Nmom. You just acted like her twin! In fact I do not know why I'm wasting my time with you except this is a great outlet for my now exasperated week!

You lash out to hurt for your own pleasure when it is not called for. I did not say anything about removing someone, but in the definition of Ns, they project their fears on others, so I guess you are truely fearful of being removed! As far as control - look in the mirror sister. Speaking of abuse - you verbally abused me unmercifully!

Solace said:

Bannish those who you feel superior to to some other place!!

Fantastic!!

Watch what you say or you'll get "removed" too!!!

The consideration is nice but the concept condones control.

Control who posts where.

Control who speaks what.

Control who is allowed to abuse who.

Yep.

Control again.

BE off!! To the chat board with ya!!

wtf???

My vote:

CG Stays
Portia Stays
Solace Stays
Everybody stays
Whoever doesn't want to--goes.

Or: You go chat with your buds in the new "area of the board"

but put up a big sign:

"THOSE WHO DO NOT MEET THE SCRIPT ARE EXCLUDED HERE.
DON'T EVEN KNOCK ON THE DOOR.
YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED IN.
YOU ARE NOT AS GOOD AS US AND
DON'T DARE EVEN THINK YOU ARE!!!"

Ofcourse, I won't sing MY name.

In fact - YOU JUST LIED LIKE MY F***ing Nmom has done to me everyday of my life!
 
Come on this board and treat us like our Ns have treated us and you will get the reaction I have waited for 45 years to give my Nmom!

Get the h*** out of my face!

[iwonder]

Huh?  Why is Solace getting so bent out of shape at the wrong person?  Wasn't this thread about  "CG"  anyways?

Solace..... did you forget to sign in as CG before you went off on a rant  at Ellie?

[BlueTopaz]

Geez!

Honestly, just like Ellie says, I think it would be best to have another category added to the 3 already existing main ones at the sites main page:

http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3/

That way, those not wanting to read the stuff don't even have to see it, and those wanting to post in it are free to.  Nobody gets kicked off and nobody is bothered by the friction and negativity.

With this being the 3rd new thread about this whole no end in site thing, it really is taking over the board too much (yes I'm posting in it, but with a purpose, not as someone embroiled).  

Gosh, I wish the interest on my money would grow exponentially in the manner and time frame of these disputes!   New arguments keep getting added,  everything expands, and new people become involved as feelings are hurt.    

I wish Dr. Grossman would add another main header entitled Misc. or "Anything Goes", or "Blow Off Steam" etc... where the description notes that it is ok to talk about anything, resolve disputes etc, and though it might be a good place 99 % of the time, you also enter at your own "risk".  

I think it would be a smart move.  I'm with you all the way on that one, Ellie.  

BT

[Kiba Jin in guest mode]

I never would have had the courage to post if I'd read these threads in the beginning.  IMO this isn't so much about control as it is about creating a safe environment, particularly for the newbies who are testing the waters. It's a scary time. If controls are necessary to achieve a relatively safe haven then so be it.  

The other option of course is to simply not read these threads.  I need to heed my own advice.

Les

I started to read both of the R threads and stopped as emotions seemed to be running very high and personal and I (a newbie)  feel I'm in no position to judge who's "in the right" or "wrong" of it. Now I avoid them and have no wish to jump in and post there. I empthize with  Les's feelings about having the courage to post if those are some of the first threads read. It's understandable that emotions will fire in a forum like this, but I agree with Les on creating a safe environment across the forum for newcomers.  I invited my sister to come here and join, but told her maybe she should hold off as these R&R threads seem to be the most active and sharing our experiences maybe wouldn't get noticed or wanted.  This forum is a great find  for those who've lived with Npeople and continue to do so -- like a well in a very dry empty desert to me. So I hope things will smooth out in time.

I know some forums or groups will make a subsection specifically for ranting, bile and general internet teeth-baring. Maybe that wouldn't be a bad idea here. I say get it out in a specific spot, but some bioharzard markers up and those that want to go swimming may do so without involving those who do not.

peace n' donuts
KJ

[Anonymous]

This is an emotional support message board not a hangout-hookup central.

[Anonymous]

Ellie - Not logged in

What if a new section is created on the main menu under Reading material for MISC postings. This exists on several message board - a place for people who want to chat or rant about things not necessarily associated with the main topic. This allows folks to stay who have been here for a while, made friendships and want to remain with this board, but have a Misc place to just chat. That way the folder is not included with these posts, so it does not scare off newbies, but we don't have to run anyone off. Ramble and Romper Room threads can be moved there. We all have the ability to join in if we want, everyone already posting there still remains, all is well with the world. Then if topics are created that begin to resemble these threads on the main message board, they too can be moved over.
Because we do not really know anyone's status, I think it would be harmful to run anyone off unless it can be proven they are a mole, spy, trouble maker, grunt, whatever you want to call it. We do not have the ability to prove that.

Just MHO  

I agree with this comment. There is much merit in the ideas. A closed 'rant room' could be a good answer to these problems we're constantly experiencing. Also people who have genuine gripes or want to start gripe threads aren't stifled and or feel to be made voiceless but have an appropriate place to take it instead of shoving there issues in everyone elses face. Perhaps it could reduce some exhibitionism and need to be the center of attention activities also.

Do we want problem threads to be so visible and our introduction to newbies? I don't like it when I come here and find so much in-fighting. I think it adversely affects both newcomers and the general attitude of support we usually enjoy here.

The down side od rant room or sin bin could be that anyone who wanted to could turn anyone's thread nasty for hidden personal reasons. Threads cold be 'gotten rid of by manipulation and then sent to a 'sin bin'. Perhaps hostility and grudges could develop. How is that addressed or doesn't it matter? Perhaps it wouldn't matter. Perhaps that may develop more greater general tolerance and thinking before speaking. Perhaps that's merely detail I'm expressing concerns for.  Can anyone tell me how it works on other boards that have 'rant rooms' and 'sin bins' that they've been involved with?

Interested to hear.

[Anonymous]

This is an emotional support message board not a hangout-hookup central.

Do you have a problem with someone inviting one of their relatives to join this board too? Why? If their sister of friend or anyone they know is dealing with a narcissist too, why not?