As you know, my dad died in September. Right in the midst of my chemotherapy. Now my cancer has returned and I am experiencing a lot of anger. I cannot decide if it is from my dad or me. I think it is me.
We have talked often of having rich n parents and thinking if we can just get to the point where they die, then the payoff will be worth all the crap we have endured all our life. Now I have cancer and I will probably die before my mom. She talked of giving me just enough to make it each month........said something about since I am going to die I should get some of my inheritance before I do.....
My anger comes from knowing that until the day I die, I will be dependent upon her. She won't give me a lump sum that I can do with what I want, no she will give me just enough to pay my monthly expenses. Period.
I asked her to ask her accountant what the best approach would be. The thought of every other week sending her a reminder email or a reminder phone call...."mom, I was wondering when I could expect that check?" And something like, "do you really need that much? It seems like a lot.........." Or down the road having her say,
"Why am I giving you this money, you seem to be living not dying" or something like that....
I am just so angry. Life is so not fair!!!
