Me too.
I don't want to say that no N can have an epiphany or awakening or learn what Nism or Ntraits are in order to be more aware of them. Or decide to become less damaging people. I have a couple N friends who have lived a while and thought a lot about their damaged relationships. They seem to have a genuine spirituality that they work on. But I still would never become vulnerable to either of them, so I guess that's the real answer. I'm sixty, and I've only figured that out in recent years. Meanwhile, the damage goes on. Most people aren't sixty, and there are children...
The basic personality structure of folks, I think, is about 50-50 genetic/environment. Our culture is environment and we could change that in a lot of ways. There could be a culture that absolutely would not TOLERATE Nbehavior, so even if someone appeared genetically wired to trend that way, their expression of Nism would be suppressed just as we're taught to "not hit" as toddlers or to poop in the proper place.
I'm uncomfortable with that web site because it smacks of exploiting people's pain, and seems pretty boastful, and I think if they want to earn money off their "specialness" they should do it in a more straightforward way. Write a memoir, sell the memoir, create a profitable blog. But don't promise "CURE". That's an irresponsible and I think cruel word and big red flag about them. In medicine for example, they say always be wary of people who tell you they have discovered a super-special amazing secret cure that nobody else agrees with or that no-one credentialed or learned has ever corroborated--and the only evidence they have is anecdotal, testimonial, or mysterious. I also don't really hear much compassion from Kim, just eagerness to impress, really. If compassion isn't pouring out like a wave, I ain't inviting anybody in that deep to "fix my marriage". (If I were suffering in marriage.) And I ain't looking for no guru, ever.
Out of control Nism is like emotional battery. With criminals who do physical battery, one locks them up. One also should (and our culture doesn't) work to rehabilitate them (meaning find out why a young man grows up violent, for example) and CHANGE THE CULTURE (environment, education) that creates them. You can't lock up Nism so you have to teach all children an outstanding sense of self (Richard's whole concept of "voice") and healthy boundaries so we don't raise rabbits who get paralysed by the glance or sound or seductions of an N.
I think to save our species we need to save children, period. There are so many obstacles. We can't be "N-police" and go sweeping toddlers out of homes where sick psyches rule. But we can advocate intensely for strong very early childhood education and opportunity. We're doing that in my town, in a social justice thing...named our highest priority as pre-K interventions. If tiny kids (2, 3, 4) can be exposed to loving attention and learning, even if they unfortunately aren't offered it at home...their innate intelligence and drive to thrive can carry them through some very tough childhoods and many many more of themwill turn out to be excellent productive adults with a large chance of breaking generational cycles of poverty and abuse.
Well, it's Sunday. So hope I'm allowed one sermon!
hugs
Hops
