Hi all,
Well, after reporting recently that I was doing very well with setting boundaries, I am now in unchartered territory and struggling to cope! I have two family members who I am close to, one of whom is having a baby and another who is having quite serious marital problems. Along with that, both have problems with money, housing and depression.
I love these two people dearly. I don't have contact with the majority of my family, so the ones that I held on to are very dear to me. I hate seeing people that I care for unhappy, upset or struggling in any way. However, I am finding that I am being asked to help out more and more often and I am starting to feel tired and resentful. I don't mind helping out some of the time, but I don't want to do as much as I have been asked to over the last week or so. I don't want to cause difficulties in my relationships with either of them, and I don't want them to feel like they can't ask for help, but equally I do need to put the brakes on the situation because I feel it may get worse rather than getting better and I don't want to get dragged in too deep. I don't mind helping but I feel I need a bit of distance as well. Something I find particularly hard is that I am at home with my son all day, so I find it difficult to refuse to do something when they know I'm there. I think it's easier if you're out at work because people wouldn't expect you to leave work to do something (unless it was an emergency), but I find it harder to say no when I don't have a 'valid' excuse.
Any thoughts? I have been doing well on boundaries with friends but have come up on a bit of a stumbling block with this one.
Thank you.
Twoapenny xx