Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Finding voicefulness......losing......finding.....practicing..

<< < (20/49) > >>

lighter:
Whoo hoo, write Muffin, write.

Feeling your not good enough is probably one of the things that will drive you to do excellent work writing that grant!

Lighter

Hopalong:
Okay, MB...no more whizzing.

How about a quiet hug for yourself?

But a calm one.

Like a peaceful, confident friendly hand. Reaching over and patting you. (NOT poking, prodding or pushing!) Just a friendly, peaceful "pat."

Yup. MB, you are an intelligent woman who writes very well.

Grants are not mysteries. They're just a format.

She CAN teach you or show you. And you can do it.

(SO tickled for you. Yabba dabba doo!)

Hops

Meh:
To top it off, a paramedic flirted with me today while he was on his lunch break. Not that I take this stuff seriously but it's a nice entertainment every once in a while. That someone would even flirt at all...sort of makes me feel human. I'm not really much of a flirt, mostly I just smile politely and stare at them a little bit shocked.  :)

Thank goodness I got dressed up for my volunteer gig because I would never get dressed up thinking that a paramedic would flirt with me.

Yes, I just emailed the director a few mins. ago and told her I would be glad to work on the grant. I know I gave her a worried look at first so I figured I better confirm it. The whole thing is a bit confusing, it's that creative-people-chaos thing, well it's confusing because today she said verbally to me again that the other group doesn’t have the time to manage this project. So I think she is asking me in an oblique way if I want to do that? I would only be doing it as a volunteer pro-bono as far as I know. The other group had money for an intern.

Still just keeping an open mind and my fingers crossed.

I actually have always wondered about grant writing. This director seems willing to give me opportunities and some hands-off mentoring.

I'm just waiting to see what happens, I'm worried that she is going to figure out that I'm really dumb!
I mean I know that I have some insights some of the time.
I guess I don't want to disappoint, you know what I mean?

Still, going back to fingers crossed, being gentle to SELF...

--Oh I can hear that my poor neighbor woman in the shelter got groped while she was waiting in a line with homeless guys. –That kind of stuff absolutely sucks. That is exactly why I avoid some of the resources that are out there because showing up for them can be a risk for single women. 
When it comes to this level of social services it's a very good idea to segregate by sex. I just knew she was going to have a problem when she told me she was going to go check it out.

Yoga soon. 

Meh:
Thanks, Lighter and Hops,

I keep on talking myself into it!!! :P

Meh:
This board is like a crutch for me at the moment.

While walking back "home" from the yoga class tonight with another woman from this place, she told me that I was able to describe things well, same things that she had "in her head" but was unable to get out. I can't help but to think this board helps me with that. There are definitely times where my ability to articulate really declines. So I'm glad for being able to come here and just write.
I also imagine that the woman listening to me talk her ear off is benefited by it also in some little way. We ended up having an honest laugh-out loud moment on the walk home and it was really great. She is the one who has a very slight build and is struggling with some sort of physical issue. It's really good that I can laugh and share it with someone else who probably needs to laugh.

I have been more chit-chatty recently.


--So I volunteered to do the grant and she responded to me, she wants me to do it so Yay! I guess.
I really want to get excited about it, but I feel worry.

What I'm noticing is that some people would naturally pat themselves on the back and feel proud of themselves and it would show on their face that they are proud. I don't do that really, it's a big stretch to really FEEL that. Just an observation. I'm almost wondering if I can bring my inner child in on that. Oh, and by the way I think my inner child may even approve of the volunteer project I'm working on! Another bonus.

The volunteer project is a good thing for me to do on many different levels, it’s very creative in scope and I love that so it's truly in alignment with my values and passions. It benefits the community in numerous ways. It feels like it could open doors for people, not just me, albeit little mouse doors but still....opening doors is a really good thing. At first I didn't realize how many projects were going on with this organization, this woman is amazing to me--I guess she probably needs a person to pour over all this paperwork and figure it out because she is more like one of those outgoing social people and that's her gift. She has a lot of energy, if I ever get through all of this, one day maybe I will send her a flower arrangement and tell her how important it was for me to be involved in the work she is doing.

If I do have an interview and someone asks me what I am doing I can say I'm meeting with directors and writing grants, it sounds much better then "nothing"...I just hope the shelter director sees it as positively as I do.

Someone hugged me tonight, the yoga teacher did. She is really a sweetheart, I plan to find some treasure-object I have stored away somewhere so I can give her a little gift-probably one of my mini-paintings. Sitting on the yoga mat I noticied that it had once belonged to someone with the initials (MB) because that was marked on the corner in ink--MB- just like Muffin Buster.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page