hi lighter, PR and Hops,
I appreciate the comments. I had been just ramblings and it's interesting what pops up.
lighter, I have but one chair for now, and it is the the lightweight that I use daily and put into and out of the car. It's about 30#. My first chair in 1969 was an old one of my mother''s and it weighed 75#. (6 yr old daughter assiseded by pulling from the passenger side, while I pushed from the driver's side. That didn't last long.) There are always improvements being made.
As far as a car is concerned, I require a 2-door, so the chair goes in behind the driver's seat, but the console cannot be too wide reaching into the back seat for the front 'chair wheels will jam against it and not fit over the console or the drive shaft....so it depends on the make and models out at the time. I have always bought new cars, and it worked out to about evey 10 years. I would become very comfortable with my current car and not what to have to change. However, ontario winters with sand, gravel and salt on the raods ate away at the metal, and 10 years meant the car had been becoming 'shabby'. Having moved to British Columbia and less winter, no snow, this car has lasted 20 years. WOW! I love it, but.....it's old! so the search will be on for the proper "2 door/console" and that will likely be in the Ford, Chevy, or Chrysler. I begin my shop, by phone. The hand controls are Universal so they will fit whatever I buy! The new one.... I will want to have a CD player.
So PR, after reading about cars, that also involves whatever else I needed, like a house, I bought and my daughter and I never did without, but I never went overboard. I finally, quite by accident, from fooling around on the internet, found a make-over place and that's where I learned that the new frames for eyeglasses really looked good on me, so BOOM! I saw some downtown. The guy imports only one of each style from Europe and I have Chzech crystals on either side, front, of my black designer frames. It was a REAL treat. My D. and I took trips, drivng, flying, but I've never done any alone. I was just mentioning this topic to K., my Rehab Assistant, yesterday, and I never expected, as she is married, but she said we could take short trips here and there anytime that her work schedule allowed it. Since she has her own business it would be up to her. I'm not against spending money, but I really do not want to go anywhere alone.
And No! I have no fear of death. I had a NDE, OBE in 1969 and the feeling was absolutely beautiful, nary a care in the world, not even as I thought about my 5 yr old D. I knew she would be fine. I've read somewhere that 'we folks' come out of those with a change in our personality..... a few more of those and I'll be the new mother Theresa.
And Hopsy, "Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there..... I am flying over the BC mountains, the foothills of the Rockies!". If nothing else, I might have been a inspiration to some other folks, as well as you. I accept what happens, that cannot be changed, nor taken back, and then work with what I have left, as generally the only choice is to move forward.
K has been with me for 16 months/22 months and she also has patients who 'complain'. Sometimes it's easier to turn a scream into a weird laugh, and not have the reputation of a 'whiner'.
Yep, I've had many a mountain to climb, but I never sat at the bottom crying that I couldn't do it...without trying first. I've always thought of 'trying', as the begining of 'doing'.
I've made the mistake of making it difficult for anyone to "help me" and I realize that the approach means a lot....don't do it without my asking, and don't do it with pity written all over your face. Many people have passed by and remarked, "Oh, it looks like you've done that before!" I smile, thank them and we part on a good note. If someone surprises, as in scares, me from behind, whatever and grabs my chair to help, I become furious and say I will sue them for assault. Two different reactions. Helping myself, learning something new is just very satisfying...perhaps like a 'baby' walking for the first time, not really understanding the happiness and pride within itself or its parents....but dazzling is a nice word....makes me think of my designer frames.
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So the healing continues, as I need the answer to the shakes, tremors and teeth gnashing, before I have my teeth fixed, or at least have the dentist prepared for my having a lifetime of gnashing at his work.
Thanks and Love to all
Izzy