misery

[BonesMS]

Well they were, and you weren't!  
Here, you've got one fan here on cyberspace!!    

Really tho, there are situations like that, I've been in many, Im a lone voice and it has felt very isolating.  And then sometimes, tho not always, I may get some feedback years and years later, and someone tells me that I helped in ways I had no idea of at the time.  I think its about 'we do the right thing' and the results are up to ~~~ (God)~~~ or universe etc.   Im giving you the badge of courage anyway.  

In another way tho, recently I've been playing more beneath the radar in my current training, have had to keep it very diplomatic as I have decided I want to get to the end of the training.  I've noticed that even tho its a 'humanistic' institute, its only humanistic as long as you comply.  But I dont comply in anyway more than I have to.  
How was it for you after that event?   If you had said nothing you do  you think you would have come away feeling ill because it would feel like you had participated in the denial?  

Thanks, River!

About a month after NGCB's wedding, I had the opportunity to move away from the NQueen @#$% NWomb-Donor and GRABBED IT!!!!  For YEARS after I left, she went on a smear campaign, telling everyone who would listen to her, that the only way I could survive without her was by being a whore.  The fact that I was working full time, going to school part time, which left NO time for anything else was completely IGNORED.  I even got told that my going to school and working on my degree was a total waste of time and space because I was TOO RETARDED TO BE THERE!  (Excuse me but college professors don't assign A's and B's to students with that label!  God, what a bunch of ignorant N's!)

If I had said nothing, it would have been playing into their SICK games and I wanted no part of that!  I had HAD ENOUGH!!!!  (And, to this day, some people STILL wonder why I am NC with the remainder of those N's!)

Bones

[Hopalong]

I don't wonder, (((((((((((Bones))))))))))).

I'm so glad you got away from her.

love,
Hops

[BonesMS]

I don't wonder, (((((((((((Bones))))))))))).

I'm so glad you got away from her.

love,
Hops

Thanks, ((((((((((Hops)))))))))))

Bones

[river]

   The fact that I was working full time, going to school part time, which left NO time for anything else 

....... means you're doing really well, specially considering the origins you came from.   
I hope you can hold your achievements in your heart.  x

[BonesMS]

   The fact that I was working full time, going to school part time, which left NO time for anything else 

....... means you're doing really well, specially considering the origins you came from.   
I hope you can hold your achievements in your heart.  x

Thanks, River.

I try to do that.  At the same time, it just hurts that no matter what I do or succeed at, if I encounter any of the FOO, they only see ONE thing which is based on the poisonous lie that the NQueen %$#@ told them.

[river]

Oh gosh!  Im having rescue impulses.  It does hurt, when that conneciton is still there.   In fact it can be an on-going gnawing emptiness, as Ive experienced it. 
(My dream is to create proper and effective routes to recovery in peer group setting.)  Have needed to uproot emotional investment and to reinvest emotionally to find to find acknowledgement  from a different basis.   

BTW, anothe way of looking at it, in a truly disordered family ethos, the more they vilify you, the better you're doing, specially if you're not swayed.   The disorder has all values back to front 180 degrees.  Whats good is bad, and vice-versa. 
You are 'creating value'...... created something good where nothing good was originally given.   Know this.  You are contributing to the solution to the problem that orignally hurt you, though its indirect.  Its into the cosmos, not into the foo. 

r.x