Can I ask another question?

[Twoapenny]

Thanks, Hops.  I really like that suggestion of what to say to my T.  She has told me repeatedly that it is okay to be average, okay to be 'good enough', okay to please yourself and not worry about everyone else.  I just hadn't realised that my focus was more on what she thinks of me than what I think of me!  I am sure she will 'do the right thing', she's a good woman and a good T (she probably already knows I do this she's just waiting for me to see it).  And yes, that book is a revelation!  It's one I think I will need to keep re-reading, but what heartened me was the section about being ready - I think I am in that place where real things matter more than looks, jobs, nights out etc.  I'm making a real effort to work on myself more now so fingers crossed things will start moving in the right direction again.  Thank you xxx

[sKePTiKal]

Penny - those are really good ideas! I think they're exactly right for your little girl. She will tell you, when she's not afraid anymore and it's OK to re-arrange again, too. It might take a while... but hey - you don't have to explain your decorating rationale to anyone! Just smile and say you've found an ancient feng shui type book and you're experimenting with the energy in the room!

[Twoapenny]

Thanks Phoenix, do you know, I really love wind chimes!  I never really realised that before, they're one of those things I always look at but never buy because they're not sensible.  I got a really beautiful glass one in the charity shop, it's hanging over my bedroom door opposite the mirror that also came from the charity shop (funny how these things appear when you decide you need them!).  Doesn't feel safe enough yet, not sure what else is needed but I will keep listening and hopefully she will tell me!  Maybe a huge KEEP OUT YOU REVOLTING PERVERT sign?  TOUCH ME AND I'LL BREAK YOUR NOSE?  Might be difficult to explain away to visitors!!  Lol.

On a different note, I think A Fine Romance has started something happening in my head.  I decided to join a dating site, which I've done before and it's always been a complete nightmare - neurotics are us!!  But so far, not this time.  Have had a few emails - usually I dismiss guys quickly, there's always something wrong with them, or I look at guys that I presume wouldn't be interested so don't mail them.  But this time I've just been thinking, it's just an email?  Doesn't matter whether it leads to anything else, whether he's right, whether I'm right for him.  It feels nice, very relaxed and very different.  Don't know if it will stay like this but hope so!  Am quite enjoying myself

[sKePTiKal]

You know... as long as you are sure you're not having visitors... I think I WOULD put up a sign like this. It's what a kid would do, right? A kid who wants to set a boundary... mark a line in the sand... and say "this isn't right; LEAVE ME ALONE". At least for a day or two... and just see how it feels. I'm all about creating safe places, refuges, nests... that are healing & power-recharging places.
These kinds of silly-sounding things can be just what the "doctor" ordered!