I forgive myself for thinking that the way my mother treated me, was all my fault. That I deserved it. That I was the biggest, fakest excuse for a human being just this side of Hitler and Jack the Ripper. Fundamentally flawed.
I forgive myself for looking for ways to "just die".
I forgive myself for trying to PROVE I deserved to locked up, shot at, and wiped from the face of the earth... because I was/am such an awful person...
-- for even daring to care about myself enough to defend myself physically, have compassion for myself and my losses/lacks, and try to live a normal, happy well-adjusted life in spite of all the "yuck" I was dealt in my FOO.
I forgive myself for being so damn tediously tiresome and relentlessly determined, repeatedly, writing the same thing over & over, until the words accumulated enough energy for the lightbulb to go on... or someone hit me over the head with the 2x4 of the gift of "enlightenment" - "this is how it is...".