Author Topic: Today I forgive myself for...  (Read 3333 times)

Nonameanymore

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Today I forgive myself for...
« on: August 15, 2011, 04:46:53 AM »
...having had financial difficulties for a year. This doesn't mean that I am useless. When I think back when I was 8 and had to work to earn my living because NM made me to, at an age where most kids are fully supported by the parents, it's ok that it so happened that I have had these issues with money now at 41. Since I learned how to make a living and stand on my own two feet for so many years, this means I can and will do it again. I forgive myself and I am letting go of these feelings of low self-esteem, insecurity, uselessness, not being good enough. I am enough.


(I don't know if anyone has opened such a thread, but please share what you forgive yourself for whenever  :D )

sKePTiKal

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Re: Today I forgive myself for...
« Reply #1 on: August 15, 2011, 08:52:21 AM »
This thread is a good idea. I'll come back and post something, just as soon as I have some "free" time. I do think it's important to put these things down in "so many words".
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

Guest

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Re: Today I forgive myself for...
« Reply #2 on: August 15, 2011, 09:41:23 AM »
...black and white thinking.

It's tough to sit with fear, whether justified fear or not. It's sad that so much of it could be justified though.

Guest

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Re: Today I forgive myself for...
« Reply #3 on: August 19, 2011, 12:50:18 PM »
Allowing my self to be (re)traumatised so badly. Maybe it was a blinding succession of moments of clarity. Whatever, it's all good learning. And human.

sKePTiKal

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Re: Today I forgive myself for...
« Reply #4 on: August 20, 2011, 09:07:23 AM »
I forgive myself for thinking that the way my mother treated me, was all my fault. That I deserved it. That I was the biggest, fakest excuse for a human being just this side of Hitler and Jack the Ripper. Fundamentally flawed.

I forgive myself for looking for ways to "just die".

I forgive myself for trying to PROVE I deserved to locked up, shot at, and wiped from the face of the earth... because I was/am such an awful person...

-- for even daring to care about myself enough to defend myself physically, have compassion for myself and my losses/lacks, and try to live a normal, happy well-adjusted life in spite of all the "yuck" I was dealt in my FOO.

I forgive myself for being so damn tediously tiresome and relentlessly determined, repeatedly, writing the same thing over & over, until the words accumulated enough energy for the lightbulb to go on... or someone hit me over the head with the 2x4 of the gift of "enlightenment" - "this is how it is...".
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

bearwithme

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Re: Today I forgive myself for...
« Reply #5 on: August 22, 2011, 01:55:47 AM »
I forgive myself for thinking that the way my mother treated me, was all my fault. That I deserved it. That I was the biggest, fakest excuse for a human being just this side of Hitler and Jack the Ripper. Fundamentally flawed.

I forgive myself for looking for ways to "just die".

I forgive myself for trying to PROVE I deserved to locked up, shot at, and wiped from the face of the earth... because I was/am such an awful person...

-- for even daring to care about myself enough to defend myself physically, have compassion for myself and my losses/lacks, and try to live a normal, happy well-adjusted life in spite of all the "yuck" I was dealt in my FOO.

I forgive myself for being so damn tediously tiresome and relentlessly determined, repeatedly, writing the same thing over & over, until the words accumulated enough energy for the lightbulb to go on... or someone hit me over the head with the 2x4 of the gift of "enlightenment" - "this is how it is...".

I like this.  It's close to me and my experience(s). 

river

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Re: Today I forgive myself for...
« Reply #6 on: August 22, 2011, 05:41:04 PM »
Houts!
 appropos something completely different, just got back from holiday, and  I was thinking of your analogy of the airoplane instructions and the O2 mask, its such a good one,.... 'who do you help first?'

Nonameanymore

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Re: Today I forgive myself for...
« Reply #7 on: August 25, 2011, 11:20:30 AM »
Hi Rivs! Pretty powerful question, huh? Another of the whaky methods I have been studying lately talks about asking questions without rushing to get the answers... Simply allowing the answer to come to you when it comes...

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Today I forgive myself for being governed by my fears...

bearwithme

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Re: Today I forgive myself for...
« Reply #8 on: November 20, 2011, 11:24:28 PM »
....for feeling insecure and less intelligent than my co-workers.

Nonameanymore

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Re: Today I forgive myself for...
« Reply #9 on: October 16, 2012, 05:12:07 PM »
Hi all,
Today I forgive myself for standing up for myself (if that makes sense and I am sure it does!)
Thanks

CzEsl74

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Re: Today I forgive myself for...
« Reply #10 on: November 01, 2012, 09:04:35 PM »
Hi everyone,

Today I forgive myself for having been blinded by my NF for years. It has taken me a long time to figure out what has been happening in my family of origin. I am going to be 38 in December.

I forgive myself for being numb and avoiding the pain without even realizing it.

CzESL74

Twoapenny

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Re: Today I forgive myself for...
« Reply #11 on: November 02, 2012, 07:13:28 AM »
Hi everyone,

Today I forgive myself for having been blinded by my NF for years. It has taken me a long time to figure out what has been happening in my family of origin. I am going to be 38 in December.

I forgive myself for being numb and avoiding the pain without even realizing it.

CzESL74

Welcome, Cz :)  Forgiving ourselves is so important.  I found life easier once I was able to accept that I get things wrong, I don't always behave well and sometimes I can be childish.  The numbness thaws over time - it can be painful but it's lovely to be able to feel properly afterwards :)  Looking forward to hearing more about you :)  Twoapenny :)