One other tidbit I ran across in my memory-log-scan journals during therapy: being physically ill was the only way, as a child, I could get my mom to (positively) pay attention to me.
What an amazing insight. I can relate. Only time NM was ever really approximated nice, understanding or attentive was when I was sick.
So odd...Self-fulfilling prophecy. Since my last post--and since leaving NM's house two days ago--I've broken out with itchy red patches. Hives maybe? Or some strange manifestation of a daycare virus I picked up from my kids? I sort of sense that stress/emotions have something to do with it. Or maybe just some general lack of self-care. I've been sick on and off since September with all sorts of colds, sinus infections, low-grade fevers, and have been putting off going to the doctor because it's just so darn expensive and time-consuming. Perhaps, it's time for me to stop ignoring my feelings/needs the way NM always did.
Sometimes the whole stoic, stiff-upper-lip thing can cause more harm than good. Had a friend who ignored her strep-throat and ended up in the doc's office with scarlet fever. (Doc said untreated strep-throat becomes scarlet fever...How Victorian!)
lots of love and health to you P.R.
Kay x
