Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Father with cancer and narcissistic mother
Lucky:
May I ask you what precisely happened with your daughter? Did she suffer from a burnout?
Hopalong:
Oof. Loooooooong story, Lucky, mostly covered on my thread called "Mothering Again..." (with ellipses).
Nutshell: She did break down. Had to do with wobbly mental health in the first place (bipolar, ADD, plus mild Asperger's) that in combo with the emotional stress of her stepmom's slow and bloody horrible decline, plus her cat's death, along with my D's inability to multi-task (painful reunions with long-lost but unappreciative siblings from her Dad's other marriages, were also part of the dynamic) -- added up to her: mental cracking, eviction, meltdown, collapse at the tail end of her M.A. program, and overall personal disaster. That she's still trying to heal from. Meanwhile, she has completely estranged herself from me and I haven't heard her voice in 2.5 years.
And I can't fix it. I don't want to re-open that vein just now (for my own mental health) but you're welcome to read my old threads about her.
Hops
Lucky:
Okay, so there was much more going on apart from the death of her father and having to study at the same time. Thank you for telling me what happened.
I am sorry that you have not heard her voice for such a long time. But as you say, it probably is better for your mental health.
Hopalong:
Hi Lucky,
You're welcome, and thanks for caring.
Noooooooo--it isn't hearing her voice that would be bad for my mental health!
It's that the grief I feel over NOT hearing her voice is so painful that I am
trying not to think about her.
Hops
Lucky:
I am sorry I misunderstood you Hopalong. I am sorry for your pain.
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