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Tried to disappear/go NC and they hunted me down!!!

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BonesMS:

--- Quote from: JustKathy on December 10, 2011, 09:15:18 PM ---WELL ....

I was going to take the letter and burn it, but before I had the chance Hubby informed me that he was dying of curiosity and had opened it. I haven't looked at it, and won't, but he told me what was inside. I don't why, or at what point my perspective may have changed, but I somehow managed to laugh my ass off at it.

He said that the letter was pretty brief. She sent some photos of herself with her shaved head to drive home the point that she's "dying of cancer." Very little was said in the letter other than pleading with us to come and visit them both before they die. But here's where it gets good. She included a check for $500. She closed the letter by saying, "Hope you're enjoying your new house," which can best be translated as, "Ha Ha, I found your new address!"

So here's my thoughts on it. She can't possibly believe that I'm going to come visit after being NC for so many years, nor does she want me to. But she's certain that I'll run to the bank and cash that check. Cashing the check will 1) Provide her with proof that she did in fact find my house and that I got the package, and 2) Gives her pity party material on Christmas Day. "Waaaaaa. Kathy cashed my check and didn't even thank me. Why is she so mean to me?"

So I told hubby to tear up the check and throw it out. We're really hurting right now, and sure could have used that money, but I'd rather go hungry than accept dirty money. So the check has been destroyed, and she'll just have to wonder what happened.

I also find it downright hysterical that she apparently has placed a dollar value on me. My brother has received millions in cars, education, houses, and is sole heir in their will (meaning he'll get the only remaining item, their house). I get .... $500!!!! Wow!!!!! There's simply no way to get inside the mind of an N, but it does leave me wondering if she's able to see the absurd inequity here. Does she justify it in her mind as the golden child being worth millions, and me being worth nothing .... OR .... is she not really cognizant of it, and believes that she's treating us equally? If only their brains could be dissected and the answers could be found.

Anyway, long story short, I'm oddly okay with this, even amused by it. It's so desperate, so laughable, that it's not hurting me. Maybe I've somehow been liberated by the knowledge that I am officially disinherited. There isn't anything at stake, so to speak. My therapists have always encouraged me to maintain *some* contact, just in case I might get some inheritance, which would serve as a small bit of restitution for my pain and suffering. I now know with 100% certainty that I'm not getting a dime when they die, so I have nothing to lose, and can now laugh at their desperate attempts. The things that they've done to me in the past will haunt me for the rest of my life, but for some reason, this year's Christmas Box of Doom managed to entertain me. Does that sound weird?

--- End quote ---

NOT weird AT ALL!!!!

Sounds like she attempted to buy you as her slave AND FAILED!!!  MISERABLY!!!!   :D

Bones

sKePTiKal:
Nope, not weird.

Neither are your assumptions about why this is so funny this time, you know? I've wondered sometimes, if the way their minds work hasn't been hilarious all along...

and I've simply taken it all too personally and been naive to hold the expectation that my mother would love me - for me - without all the other strings, projection, and manipulation. I do wonder that, but then there's the little voice in my head that says:


naaaaaaahhhh.

KayZee:
(((((((Kathy))))))))


--- Quote ---but for some reason, this year's Christmas Box of Doom managed to entertain me.
--- End quote ---

Just want to say I think you're a very strong, grounded, courageous woman.  I'm so glad you and your DH were able to lean on each other and even find some hilarity in the insanity.

Because make no mistake about it...your NM is N-sane in the brain!  To me it sounds like she's playing her very last desperate hand.  Throwing around money, playing the sick-card.  Good for you for not getting too sucked into the drama she's trying hard to create!

lots of love, Kay

P.S.- To everyone who's NC...very good idea to make sure all your utilities bills go to a P.O. box.  It's very easy and cheap for Ns to find you on the Internet that way.

Guest:
KAY

re your PS above, which countries does this apply in? I'm curious to know more about the mechanics of this (easy and cheap over the web?).


And another question for ALL: is it preferable to be the hunted or the hunting/hunter?

Okay, better not to play the game. But sometimes we are forced to play for our own protection, security, peace of mind. So if you have to choose, is it hunted or hunter?

I hope that's a no-brainer, but hey, we're all different sometimes...

KATHY
 re

--- Quote ---My therapists have always encouraged me to maintain *some* contact, just in case I might get some inheritance, which would serve as a small bit of restitution for my pain and suffering.
--- End quote ---
IF your therapists were 100% seriously advising you to do that, they need their heads looking and someone to look over their therapeutic methods - just my opinion, which is in fact worth nothing. It seems to me that any T worth the title would at most offer that idea to you to explore your reaction and would make it clear that they were neutral about the idea. But then money, or the idea of it, does funny things to people.

lighter:
We have to study, practice and pass a test to drive a car..........

but to have a baby.....

nuthin.

Infants are born to all manner of Cluster B PD parents.

They're mostly left to figure everything out for themselves.

Left to fend for themselves.

It's crazy.

lighter

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