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Tried to disappear/go NC and they hunted me down!!!

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sKePTiKal:
FW: when I have any presence of mind at all, I try to remember not to be either hunted or hunter... but to stand comfortably, duck, and let the danger simply go past me...

I sleep better that way! LOL...

KayZee:
Freshwater: Hmm...I don't know how it works internationally.  I meant here in the U.S.  A former P.I. once told me that websites like Peoplefinder.com just charge people a $10 fee to essentially pull up the billing addresses attached to their electric bills.  Sounds pretty plausible.

P.R: I like that image about just being yourself/holding your ground even as the chaos spins around you.  Gives me hope and inspiration. 

I'm afraid I'm usually the skittish hunted, quick to run off and disappear when the danger feels to great.  But I'm working to find a bit more strength and self-defense.

Kay x

sKePTiKal:
Kay,

yoga, tai chi, any kind of slow meditative body work seems to help. There's probably a scientific reason for this - neuroscience, nervous systems, etc - but so far I've just been collecting stories from other people who were helped this way, too. I've also noticed that this kind of "exercise" is also great for managing extra weight - despite the recommendations for aerobic or weight training... this kind of exercise works best for me. Maybe it indirectly affects cortisol (stress chemicals) levels?

And it's kinda like eating a nutritious diet - you have to do it regularly to gain the effect. The effect will wear off if you stop doing it. Which makes sense, if one accepts the theory that it balances and moderates both the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system. I need to take my own advice, here - and soon - because I'm starting to have the old "it's all too much" meltdowns again. (A former skittish hunted type, here...)

JustKathy:

--- Quote ---Just want to say I think you're a very strong, grounded, courageous woman.
--- End quote ---

Gosh, thank you Kay. I don't really consider myself courageous, though my coping mechanisms are definitely better than they once were. It took a LONG time to get to this place though. If it wasn't for the Internet, and boards like this, I don't think my outlook ever would have changed. You really need the support of other N victims, which is very hard to find in real-life therapy.


--- Quote ---IF your therapists were 100% seriously advising you to do that, they need their heads looking and someone to look over their therapeutic methods
--- End quote ---

Yeah. I have mixed feelings about that, though at the the same time, somewhat understand it. I have a friend who was the daughter of an N. Just like me, her brother was the GC and was the sole heir, until he died of cancer. When the NM died, she inherited a substantial amount. She took the money and absolutely blew it. Bought expensive cars, jewelry ... all the things that her NM never wanted her to have. She felt totally vindicated, not from having the "stuff," but from knowing that her NM was rolling in her grave over having her money squandered. So I guess it's possible to use inheritance money as a sort of revenge, IF you're lucky enough to get any. I have a feeling that few of us do. But back to the Ts, I doubt that many of them truly understand the nature of being an N victim. I had one who was very knowledgeable about Ns, but always defended the actions of my Co-Father. IMO the only person who is truly qualified to give advice regarding an N parent is another N victim. It's like my neurologist trying to give me advice on my migraines, without him knowing what a migraine really feels like. I don't care how many journals you read, until you've felt it, you just don't know.

Kay, I never thought about people being traceable through their utility bills, but wow, does that ever make sense. If you buy a house, that purchase becomes public record and makes you very traceable, but if you rent, absolutely, those utility bills will lead someone right to you. Years ago we got cheated in a real estate deal, and had to sue the seller. He had gone deep undercover, and was living with a friend. We hired a PI who found him within hours. I think he ran a DMV check, so that's another way of tracking someone. I guess in this day of technology, there's really no way to completely disappear.

JustKathy:

--- Quote ---And another question for ALL: is it preferable to be the hunted or the hunting/hunter?
--- End quote ---

I would have to choose the hunter because the type of people who are hunting us are so unbalanced. I run searches on my NM all the time, just to see what she's up to online, what she's doing for attention, and so on. But it's purely for entertainment. When they hunt US, they do it for malicious reasons. They want to hurt us, so it's a different game.

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