Hi Sunblue - Sorry for my slow response, I just saw your post for the first time today.
Your question of the blurry lines of what is Co-D and what are normal struggles for Victims of Nism is a good one. The idea of wanting to be heard (and I assume, ultimately having that voice matter to someone ) is definitely part of Co-D. Obviously, on this site, voicelessness is a huge part of the problem. Its not just about being heard and having that validated, but even being important enough to have something to say in the first place. Nism is really the "addiction" in the dysfunctional relationship and what CO-Ds tend to learn are bad habits and interaction patterns that set them up for greater troubles in life.
This is the most extensive list of symptoms and questions to ask to determine whether you are Co-D. It can be very helpful.
http://www.addictionconsulting.com/codependency.htmHope this helps.
