Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Therapists
Meh:
Can I talk to my therapist about dating?
Its a normal therapy topic isnt it?
I feel so ashamed in bringing it up with a therapist, they are clinical and not my friend and they don't know me. Maybe I will just ask her not to record anything I say about that stuff that would make me feel better. I have some kind of irrational fear that somebody is going to see my mental health file and they are going to say "Look how sad and pathetic this patient is, Nobody loves her"[/b]To me saying to my therapist "I want to be loved, I think I want to date even though I have all this stuff going on"--well it feels really taboo to me.
I feel like I'm going to be exposed as an unloved loser!!!!
Or that the therapist is going to try to make me accept with "reframing my thoughts" that I am not an unloved loser.
But the fact still remains that I am alone and lonely and by myself and I don't want to be.
Maybe the therapist herself isnt even in a happy relationship.
Meh:
I'm tired, I don't want the therapy experience that is like doing exercises and workbooks and a teacher telling children to perform a task or to play at something. I just want things to get better. I just want to beg her.."help me how do I make it better"
Okay I'm going for a walk now because I'm having an emotional out pouring at the moment.
Hopalong:
Aha. I think I get it. (God, I'm slow.) And I don't blame you.
You
have
INHERENT
worth
and
dignity
HUGE dignity. That's what is good for you in therapy.
You bring your dignity in the room with you. Along with your fragile feelings. Any damn topic you like.
If you want to talk about love and dating, this is not "forbidden" because you're homeless now.
If a T forbids you to discuss anything non-economic, wrong T.
You are not allowed to believe your dignity is lost. (Umm, that would be me, being bossy, there...).
Believing that it is lost is a current-world, current-life, current-circumstances confusion. Understandable.
But not true.
Your true dignity and worth are invisible and do not cost any money and cannot be purchased with education, social status, or professional degree. They cannot be demeaned by the temporary or permanent lack of any of those things.
There is noone else who can give them to you; you came that way.
You might forget they are real sometimes but that doesn't change the facts.
You are in NO way inferior to or subject to any therapist. They may want to "steer" you to solutions for your life circumstances (this could be uncomfortable but still a sign of caring) but they need to also recognize your wholeness. As a whole being, you've also got love on your mind right now.
Their motives, education and training should, hopefully, help most of them to be actually helpful to most of you most of the time.
They are not superhuman nor super-authoritative.
You can find good Ts in humble clinics and such.
NEEDING human help and reassurance does not have anything to do with your dignity and worth.
You
have
INHERENT
worth
and
dignity
...And this would be true if you peed on a T's couch, cried until you were purple, disagreed, felt pathetic, felt confused, agreed with them or disagreed with them, figured out you are smarter than them, or farted.
Receive what's helpful...maybe just one small nugget in a conversation.
You have amazing, immense capacity. I truly believe this. I'm sorry it's all so slow.
love,
Hops
Meh:
Hops, thanks that is kind and generous of you. Thanks for the perspective. I went for a walk in the dark damp rain by the water and looked at the lights on the other side of the shore through the fog, had some food, I feel better.
----------
Phoenix what do you want to weld?? big things or little things?? Like jewelry things or skyscraper things?
river:
--- Quote from: Boat that Rocks on December 29, 2011, 11:25:37 PM ---Hops, thanks that is kind and generous of you. Thanks for the perspective. I went for a walk in the dark damp rain by the water and looked at the lights on the other side of the shore through the fog, had some food, I feel better.
----------
Phoenix what do you want to weld?? big things or little things?? Like jewelry things or skyscraper things?
--- End quote ---
I live in a place like that, maybe you're my nieghbour! : )
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