Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Wail o' the week
Meh:
Hows dating Hops?
Hopalong:
It's not happening...I'm swamped in work. And my D is coming. And I'm behind on paperwork.
My job is consuming.
I am verrrrry ambivalent.
Or rather, maybe it'll happen again but the amount of time I have to focus on it is pretty limited.
So I'm not expected any momentum or regularity to it. Dating isn't an active verb in my life so much
as something that happens now and then.
(Actor has said he's having surgery and will be out of touch. I found that odd and do not care.)
Someone else has written, again a bit oddly -- like, do you want to meet and see what there is between us?
I perceive no "between us" (he's only chatted about weather and horses) but might as well say okay to meet.
Thanks for the reminder. It feels like work!
Hops
Meh:
I know, I do this too Hops. It feels like I have to have energy to date, sometimes the activity of dating is energizing also!
Me too I'm ambivalent about people. I sort of like and dislike being ambivalent...Its nice to just be on the fence sometimes.
At least I tell myself I have the right to be ambivalent no matter what the other person says because I have the RIGHT to feel things out as much as the guy does.
It is work.
--- Quote from: Hopalong on January 16, 2012, 07:12:51 PM ---It's not happening...I'm swamped in work. And my D is coming. And I'm behind on paperwork.
My job is consuming.
I am verrrrry ambivalent.
Or rather, maybe it'll happen again but the amount of time I have to focus on it is pretty limited.
So I'm not expected any momentum or regularity to it. Dating isn't an active verb in my life so much
as something that happens now and then.
(Actor has said he's having surgery and will be out of touch. I found that odd and do not care.)
Someone else has written, again a bit oddly -- like, do you want to meet and see what there is between us?
I perceive no "between us" (he's only chatted about weather and horses) but might as well say okay to meet.
Thanks for the reminder. It feels like work!
Hops
--- End quote ---
Ales2:
A little dating story for you. I'm 43, never married, no kids. Single, live with 2 adorable kitties (one 14yrs, one 2 1/2).
Met a guy, originally for business reasons, through a friend on facebook. Guy was interested asked me out, by im on facebook. I agreed to a date, then thought it over and he's really not my type. Overweight, 46, divorced, smoked cigars, drinks too much, talks too much and a namedropper. Not at all my time. I prefer a healthy, thoughtful, solid fit guy.
Anyway, we made a date, I prayed he'd cancel. When the day came, he had not called to finalize plans, so I called, but was already annoyed at his lack of follow thru. Low and behold, he canceled. I was relieved. Why did he cancel? He spent the night in jail, because he got a DUI. NOT KIDDING. My intuition was correct, sadly.
Weeks past, he was sick and had not rescheduled. I wondered if he would or possibly, if that story could be a lie. So, I immed - he didnt answer my questions (odd and rude) and asked if I was "around on friday". I said yes, and before i knew it another date was made. This morning, I had already decided I wanted to cancel and seeign a friend get engaged last nite was a sign to me that I would not date any maybe's. I have no interest in this guy and he is wormy, asks me out via im, doesn't make it clear its a date, wants me to meet him there and he'll "be with friends".
Anyway, so today comes along and I send him a note canceling, suddenly, then its a DATE and he tries to be cute. I wonder what he put his wife through...
The point is - I foolishly made a date with someone completely wrong for me, not once, but twice, No harm done really, I should have said NO the first time!
Hopalong:
Know what I noticed, Ales?
Never mind your faltering action the first time, the SECOND time you did cancel!
That's just as good as having done it the first time.
Doesn't matter when one "gets it" -- you're getting it!
I have a little shopworn anecdote about how for so many many years whenever I thought
of the expression "Two steps forward, one step back" about myself...the only word I ever
heard, deep within, was "back."
IOW, I gave myself no credit for the actual math, which was that I'd moved FORWARD.
xo
Hops
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