Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Wail o' the week

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Hopalong:
Thanks, PR--I do need more rest but I can also see another reason you said that!

I have gone back and edited out the multitoooooodinous typos in my last post.
(Quite surprised me this morning...noticed I'd signed it "Mops". Hmmm...)

I have to NOT post once I've taken an Ambien!
Literally looked like "drunk writing."

Snort. And from an "editor."

Hops

sea storm:
Dearest Mops,

So glad you are wining, sniveling and complaining and not being your staunch, brave, survivalistic and brilliantly capable self. Good to hear it. I think deeper, longer and more active complaining is in order. Beats getting cancer or having a heart attack. Serious wailing for shorter duration really helps fluff the clean laundry of the mind. Basically, your mind is full of clean laundry.

Your daughter is on her own path. Trying to help really bugs her. It makes a wreck of you. I wish for you peace and contentment.

Love,
Sea storm

Hopalong:
Thank you, (((((((Sea))))) --
I always, truuuuuly, appreciate encouragement to wail!

Hugs, and thanks...

love,
Hops

sea storm:
Wow! you are actually dating. Good for you. If it is like looking for a job it takes a hundred nos before a yes.
I tried dating and met the most amazing group of eccentrics and pretty crazy people. Example: one guy refused to buy furniture for his house to get even with his ex wife (??????) and the only thing he had was a lawn mower. Another guy had 10 cats. Another guy was a really scarey prison guard.   I came to the conclusion that I could not order up a life mate like i do a pizza.

Well those guys who blew you off did not realize what a precious treasure you are.

Sea

Hopalong:
Well. Well. Another man in my life saga....
my D's blessed sweet cat, who got starved by a "friend" she left him with...down to fur and bone, poor thing. She was desperate, asked if I could take him for a week. (I'm allergic, have asthma, and am showing the house so the realtor says, kiitty's gotta go.) It turned into 2 weeks, 3, then 4. I kept asking when she'd come get him, and she'd say, "later." I felt tricked and trapped. I fattened him up and loved him, cuddlng a couple hours every night. Uncomfortable but endurable. He is so sweet. But his loneliness weighed on me every morning and night...he needs company. That sorrow added stress.
Long story short, I told my D couldn't keep him, told her over and over, and then for a while was angry--not so much the stress and added labor, but feeling like my soft heart for animals was being manipulated. She'd abdicated responsibility but it's still an animal I also love.
Realtor stepped up the pressure and I decided to try to find a foster place for the kitty here in my town. Whole bunch of effort, chuch's FB page a friend posted for me, etc. Finally, one of my closest friends called up and said never mind all that, I want him. Hers will be a perfect safe affectionate home for him.

My D called in a near-rage (your Friend is not keeping my cat--I just don't have a way to get there.) I don't know if it's just gas money or whether something's happened to her car. Anyway, my friend wants to keep the cat, but we agreed on giving my D a deadline of the end of the month to reclaim him, or it'll become a final adoption. Friend was clutching him (triggered old losses of her own) and my D is outraged (and not grateful). So I've offered D two dates before the end of the month when I could bring the cat to meet her at a halfway point. Waiting to see if she'll be able to function well enough to get there.

Other wail o' the week is having thrown myself into a huge project I was assigned (which is very outside my bosses' comfort zone but very important for the company to get to its next stage -- anyway I really poured on the effort and skill, and it was narrative and he speaks spreadsheets only, and didn't really understand its structure or the pupose of the content...so in the little meeting (me, my two new young male colleagues who have basically been respectful--Nboss looks ar the first huge section draft I had produced and says, "When I read this, it made me want to gag." Wow. Quite a putdown. Totally demoralizing but I'll find my personal motivation to continue the effort anyway.

I felt kicked in the gut. Respect has been so hard won there, and to have him speak that way to me in front of them was humiliating and embarrassing and, well, disrespectful. Sad to see that Nboss is still the woman-dissing thing he's always been. Makes me very sad because I keep forgiving and re-forgiving and the cycle is misery-making.

Hops

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