Advice Re: Low Contact?

[Hopalong]

You're welcome ((((KayZee)))). And thank you back for your kindness.

I understand your grief over your father too--it's as though you kept a fantasy going about him as "secretly" a braver, wiser man than he actually is, and given her insanity and cruelty, you really needed him to be a father, not a weakling.

I think the grief will pass and you'll be able to retain some love for him in memory. But it sure is scalding when the second leg of the two-legged stool slips away...  I hope you finally realize that the reason you're a beautiful dancer is because of your OWN two legs.

(First you fall and hurt a lot. I'm so sorry you're going through it.)

love,
Hops

[JustKathy]

I think the grief will pass and you'll be able to retain some love for him in memory. But it sure is scalding when the second leg of the two-legged stool slips away...

Oh Hops, that is so perfectly worded. YES! That's exactly how it feels, but it does get better. That initial punch in the gut is a killer though. For those of us who have gone through this with our co-Fathers, I don't think we can ever be 100% again. You can't erase all that hurt, no matter what. But as time goes by, and the wound isn't so fresh, it becomes easier to remember some of the better times, and not that ONE moment when it all went to heck. I know that doesn't sound very encouraging, but once you get past the grief stage, things really do look brighter. Maybe just a little brighter, but brighter is good.