My brother and just life and stuff

[Meh]

Me too a Taurus   Happy Day of Birth !

Well in my randomness of various roommates, there is currently now A LOT of yard space, not prepared garden space but the owner has said for me to farm away (it's pine needle soil, there is opportunity for herbs, some abundant oregano in the front yard area which I will be making something yummy out of eventually!!! Love oregano. . But it's not mine and all my rental situations really don't feel like the right place or thing for me to be doing. Anywho your suggestions are very nice and makes a lot of sense that you would suggest that. Today I walked by a cream shade dogwood tree in full bloom and made myself stop to take just a little more time to look at it and I thought about this type of thing. The need to re-connect with nature and the things which have at some point fed our souls. Gardening and gardens definitely have been something that I LOVED in the past for sure.

Ultimately you are very right in this regard. I need to do something other than work and worry.

This weekend I have a haircut scheduled   And then the following week a dental appointment that I have been trying to organize for a long time.

I love herbs, because they smell so good and are medicinal and can be put into food or made tea out of... they really are awesome.

I did pluck the dead stems off some of the oreganos the other day while I was killing time waiting for the bus

 

Yes, yes, yes, I could plant some thymes in a pot in the front.

[Hopalong]

And you can plant tomatoes and salad greens and stuff you can EAT.

Yay!

Hops

[Meh]

4/27th

Waking up to coffee and swollen allergic eyelids and country music and my lap top, and doing research and texted my co-worker to see if he wants to go to the zoo or something.

This morning I am reading about negotiating with Liars... great topic right.

http://sloanreview.mit.edu/article/negotiating-with-liars/

 “[W]hat moralists would often consider merely ‘unethical’ behavior in negotiations turns out to be precisely what the courts consider illegal behavior.”

[Meh]

 Yay went to the Dentist and got my teeth cleaned.  Last time I went to dentist and they did a filling no cleaning so it's been since around 2007 maybe or prior that I have had a cleaning because yes.. really have been without dental insurance for a long time.

The dentist and hygienist were so focused on positive things that they forgot to mention the grand total quantity of fillings I would need. I was thinking they meant 2-3... but on paper.. printed off it is 7 fillings   Yay!!! for me!!!

Ironically one of my co-workers who is always seeing me brush my teeth at work said:  " I bet your dentist loves you"..... nah.. they make more money off of decay then they do well preserved teeth.

How can 7 fillings be positive, plus they were saying that some of what they were showing me was going to be watched, that possibly begining cavities could cease if I am really careful about sugar in my mouth.


Browsed a hardware store. I only bought a small dealy bobber. The guys in that store practically made me want to leave it. Well maybe  I will try a bigger hardware place, in fact I think I will look one up.

[Meh]

Just waking up having a cup of coffee is all.

Day off today will be working on Sunday until 7 PM instead

[Hopalong]

Hope you had a good day off Boat, and maybe
even got your fingers in some DIRT.


Hops

[Meh]

Well I have pinched oregano from my roomies front patch that is going wild if that counts... Oh I did go to an art gallery on may day off... after I completed the dentist visit that involved 4 fillings, a broken tooth and blood  hence the day off.

But the art was truly good.     !!! I heart art.   Who knew a farm ditch in a misty landscape rendered in oil is my kinda bandaid... and now an evening of ice cream and beer.

How are you?

[Hopalong]

Art YES!
About those watercolors, or that painting class........

I'm doing fine. Survived a "retreat" at Nboss' home that I
was apprehensive about. Love my technique of stuffing
earplugs all the way into my brain so I CAN'T HEAR his
hypnotic guru-mind-control "guided meditations" we
have to sit through each time, and which I'm violently
opposed to having imposed on us. And they end with
ohhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmm which is fine if you
like it but I consider that a virtual prayer and I don't
meditate on demand in the workplace, but only voluntarily,
hence my personal passive resistance, which I relish.

Otherwise, though, I contributed well and calmly.
Over-caffeinated today so he barked at me for
interrupting (exaggerating it) but I know that's
actually because I had said NO at the end of the
retreat when he proposed an even-more-invasive
trust-building process between me and the abusive
Pman, which Nboss intends to lead "as though he
were a therapist" and mentioned how intimate, emotional
and "hard core work" it would be.

I amazed myself by calmly saying, "I am opposed to this
idea because I do not want to think of you as my therapist,
you are my BOSS. And I am concerned that it would be
very invasive. If there were a professional therapist
facilitator I'd be open to it, but otherwise I think there's
a danger that any toxic dynamic would just be perpetuated
in a kind of closed family system."

And then he shut up and looked utterly shocked and I
went home very proud of myself. I am DAMNED if I
will cooperate with any "emotionally naked" exercise
with me and the bully who's tried to damage me for
seven years, that is led by Nboss himself (whose
enabling and sexism is part of why the pattern
festered in the first place).

Very risky in a way because I know, and he knows I
know, that I am not being a submissive "disciple" (aka
employee) -- but that's where I am and I felt proud
that I said what I thought and protected myself.

Thanks for asking!
Hops

[Meh]

Heck YAAAAA Goooo Hops!!!!!!! WOW you did it   I am laughing and saying "hell ...yaaa" out loud while I read what you wrote.

This situation you are describing is just on another plane... kind of mind boggling

 N-coworkers and bosses are bad enough but add on them playing make believe guru crap.. Oy veh

I am glad you feel proud and protected. Those are the good moments.

Well fuck being employed does not = a follower of a guru   sheesh...   funny business this is .

but yah it feels risky too I get that

[Meh]

My relatives are all on facebook, all connected to each other somehow, they know what is going on in each other's lives, they ask and listen to each other about what is important.

The aunt and the mother who are "besties"

My newphews, grandparents etc.

I guess they all want to keep in touch with each other.

Roll eyes I don't even feel like writing. Kind of at a loss as to what to say or feel. So off of this site at the moment.

[Meh]

Well it's Mother's Day of course. Today at work my customers asked me if I was a mother etc. and then they wished me a happy Holiday anyhow.

Got my fingers and toes painted yesterday. I was getting too lazy and maybe depressed. Figured it would make me feel a tid bit more civilized.

I matched the polish colors to pink and purple Rhododendrons.

Of course I felt some guilt at not contacting my mother but it is hard to know what to say or do any longer. Any nice thing I could ever have done for her doesn't equate a relationship with her. So that is old news.

Current news is that I am eating a hot dog and beer and should go to bed soon because more work for Monday.

Yah nothin' at all going on around here. I always felt this way in the cityscape more invisible.

At work it was so quiet that I did something I am not supposed to do and came up with a list of possible summer reading. The list is in a brown lunch bag with a can of pea soup. Going to grab it.

The Light Between Oceans

Falling into You

Toxic Deception

Gilead

Lords of Finance

Gulag

And a handful of others        If only my eyeballs will hold up maybe this will happen.

I worked until 7 PM and now it is almost 10... feh. this is going to be a drop into bed evening.

[Twoapenny]

Well it's Mother's Day of course. Today at work my customers asked me if I was a mother etc. and then they wished me a happy Holiday anyhow.

Got my fingers and toes painted yesterday. I was getting too lazy and maybe depressed. Figured it would make me feel a tid bit more civilized.

I matched the polish colors to pink and purple Rhododendrons.

Of course I felt some guilt at not contacting my mother but it is hard to know what to say or do any longer. Any nice thing I could ever have done for her doesn't equate a relationship with her. So that is old news.

Current news is that I am eating a hot dog and beer and should go to bed soon because more work for Monday.

Yah nothin' at all going on around here. I always felt this way in the cityscape more invisible.

At work it was so quiet that I did something I am not supposed to do and came up with a list of possible summer reading. The list is in a brown lunch bag with a can of pea soup. Going to grab it.

The Light Between Oceans

Falling into You

Toxic Deception

Gilead

Lords of Finance

Gulag

And a handful of others        If only my eyeballs will hold up maybe this will happen.

I worked until 7 PM and now it is almost 10... feh. this is going to be a drop into bed evening.

Hey G,

Your nail polish sounds fab

I've found the Mother's Day/Birthday/Christmas thing has got easier over the years.  One thing that helps me is to keep in mind that it is something that's been commercially created to get everyone to spend some money.  So even if I were in contact with my mum I don't think I'd make a big deal of it.  I find I feel better if I do something nice for someone else on those sort of days - takes my attention off of the way I feel for a while.  At Christmas I put together little hampers for elderly people in the area who are alone.  Nothing expensive, just little good gifts, because I don't have a mum to buy a present for so it makes me feel better that someone else is having their day improved a little, you know?  Mother's Day this year, I took my son to see a film (his choice) and then we sat by the river drinking hot chocolate.

I hope you slept well.  It's another tough day out of the way, it might be a little easier when it comes around next year.  Either way, at least you have fabulous nails to show for it xx

[Meh]

Hey G,

Your nail polish sounds fab

I've found the Mother's Day/Birthday/Christmas thing has got easier over the years.  One thing that helps me is to keep in mind that it is something that's been commercially created to get everyone to spend some money.  So even if I were in contact with my mum I don't think I'd make a big deal of it.  I find I feel better if I do something nice for someone else on those sort of days - takes my attention off of the way I feel for a while.  At Christmas I put together little hampers for elderly people in the area who are alone.  Nothing expensive, just little good gifts, because I don't have a mum to buy a present for so it makes me feel better that someone else is having their day improved a little, you know?  Mother's Day this year, I took my son to see a film (his choice) and then we sat by the river drinking hot chocolate.

I hope you slept well.  It's another tough day out of the way, it might be a little easier when it comes around next year.  Either way, at least you have fabulous nails to show for it xx

   Breathe!! Thanks for reminding me of the nails. So far so good, polish is still on    

What movie did you two end up watching?

Drinking hot chocolate by a river sounds good to me. Sounds like quality time together.

[Meh]

Was offered a slight raise today, talking peanuts really. $1.00 hour raise.

Accepting the offer would mean that the location of my work space would move to another side of the building that has a few issues. The air-conditioning messes up over there and it gets over-heated sometimes. There are more internal customers to deal with that are associated with the head corporation and when something goes up the chain of command it typically results in company wide rumors of a problem. The seating arrangement faces inward instead of out any windows. In towards the managers desks which makes it feel like a class room type setting almost. It is a bit more tightly packed together. I told them that I would be happy to be trained but that I do not want to move so I think I have declined it. They could simply have calls come over to me. It is more of a technical situation.

Right now I face a wall with a window and I prefer this. The raise seems like piddly squat though I guess I should consider it some more. They also just demoted somebody off of that team.... right now I feel cool with not being highly scrutinized. The first months that I worked on the job were under heavy scrutiny. Now the manager I have is pretty good. The other side of the building would be some managers that I am not entirely excited about.

[Hopalong]

Tough call.
Adequate (barely) income vs being able to see nature outside a window (instead of a stall).

Ouch.

If the income boost would get you closer to something else that keeps your spirit alive, maybe worth it. But if you're more present-focused and you know what losing a window would cost you, I hear that too.

I had a semi-opportunity for an office change and turned it down because where I am, there is natural light.

I get it. (Then again, my change wasn't attached to a promotion or raise--which makes it a harder decision.)

Good luck with this--whichever you decide, that's going to be what's right for you at this time, I think.

xo
Hops