Author Topic: Clutterbug  (Read 243 times)

lighter

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Clutterbug
« on: July 15, 2021, 12:25:43 PM »
I've been trying to zero in on decluttering.  It's really difficult for me, so I did what I do and researched why it's hard.

Clutter is either memories or maybe this will be useful some day clutter.

I have both, of course.

I also have generations of stuff I'd like all our grown children to make selections from....which means that stuff stays in our homes for a while BUT will be thrown out if it goes to ex SIL's house.

And I will have to let go.  Not worry.  Not feel responsible anymore.

I'm a visual organizer....I want to see my stuff.  Touch it.  Have access.  I have to edit useful stuff from memories from maybe useful in the future......and just get on with letting things go.

Kids can choose, but I can't be responsible for it all anymore. 

Letting go.  This is huge big change for me and I have to take bites every day and chew then swallow.....multi tasking, moving pieces, the right systems in place so I can use and function within them without angst and dread and paralysis.

That's what I got from identifying "projects" this last week.

With that said, I'll be at the lake for a while doing the same thing.

Time to get all the heirlooms sorted.  Kids can choose.  I help my girls with theirs and....see.... I'm the one.  My sister cares, but she lives in Canada and has no extra space.

Well....I am turning towards it with fat intent.
:: Nod::.
Lighter










Twoapenny

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Re: Clutterbug
« Reply #1 on: July 15, 2021, 12:40:18 PM »
Lighter, I did read once that photographing items can help - that way you can still see it and access the memory without having the actual item any more.  Another tip I read was to sell things you can't keep and use the money to buy something you do want or need - so each time you step on that lovely rug in the sitting room you think of the porcelain doll collection that meant a lot to someone but just took up too much space to hang on to.  I think people hold on to things in different ways.  I'm not into stuff but I love photographs, music (ie a record I know that x loved to play), those things that tell a story.  Maybe there are ways you can keep the story and the memories without having the actual items in front of you.  Little steps.  Bite size pieces.  It all adds up xx

lighter

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Re: Clutterbug
« Reply #2 on: July 15, 2021, 04:57:54 PM »
Tupp:
I think I know getting rid of clutter feels amazing, creates space to live I and brings joy.  I wish I had more ability to deal with it.  I'm either micro managing or throwing out wholesale.....taking loads to Goodwill in the night, like a thief, but in reverse.

I think your idea to sell things, touch them one last time, see them go to new owners to care for them....could be cathartic and pay for a new useful storage system, perhaps. 

I'd have to set a date and GO. 

Now, that said, the idea if a PITA sale feels daunting.  The pricing, dealing with people and thieves.....the strangers would bring up stress.  The neighbors would too, frankly.  Esp Yelly Guy.  I figured out why he bugs me so much. He behaves like a teenaged boy, brokenhearted, hoping to be saved, completely clueless. I suppose my codependent nerve gets tweaked when someone inappropriate makes me feel responsible for their feelings.  I'm really touchy about it where maybe I should just fly above it.

It's my reaction that creates trouble for me.  Not so much his initial transgression.  It's the insistence he be seen, heard, liked, helpful, saved.....that pouty teen boy thing....ugh.  Just can't fly about ve it quite yet.

I grabbed hold of myself today and went into the forest with pug, determined to deal with him better, if necessary.  I enjoyed the moss, the stones, the tadpoles, the pug.  I noted,veith little emotion, the things I put down in my efforts to avoid yg and neighbors in general.

I really disconnected.  I want to decide what I choose and how I feel.  I want to feel joy again, not snotty unhappy sourpuss avoidance, bc I can't do better, kwim?

It would be nice to set a timeframe to deal with the stuff before my sister arrives.  Yard too so she can relax.  Her health needs attention and some downtime.

Lighter








Twoapenny

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Re: Clutterbug
« Reply #3 on: July 15, 2021, 05:52:43 PM »
I know what you mean, Lighter, sometimes selling things can be a lot of work.  Is it the kind of stuff that might be bought up by a house clearance company, or stuff you could auction?  Just so it's a more hands off way of selling things and you wouldn't have to do much other than arrange for them to come over?  Could any of it go on EBay and you post stuff out to people (assuming there are any small bits to sell)?  Or maybe could the girls organise a yard sale, maybe your brother could help?  Just wondering if there are ways you can delegate a bit?  Is Yelly Guy the one that declared his feelings for you when you were out walking? 

lighter

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Re: Clutterbug
« Reply #4 on: July 15, 2021, 08:41:38 PM »
Yes. Yelly Guy is that guy, Tupp.  I like the idea of an auction.

Hopalong

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Re: Clutterbug
« Reply #5 on: September 20, 2021, 01:29:49 PM »
I joined a free TimeBank (worth a google) Decluttering Support group on Zoom.
Looking forward to the meeting today at 4pm. We share goals, obstacles, strategies and mainly encourage each other.

I've photographed the messy top of my piano as my BEFORE. Will hustle at 230-3 to clear it and put the things away that have covered it, and take an AFTER. It'll be fun.

Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

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Re: Clutterbug
« Reply #6 on: September 20, 2021, 02:11:48 PM »
I have so much decluttering to do, Hops.  Setting an achievable goal like the piano top sounds uplifting and unlikely to overwhelm you.
Lighter

Pseudo Mouse

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Re: Clutterbug
« Reply #7 on: September 20, 2021, 11:55:47 PM »
I've noticed that in my prior apartment I was very clean and very tidy all the time, consistently for a year. Here, where I am at now it's the opposite, my place looks like the home of the mentally insane.

Yesterday though I really made some progress but I noticed the mess starts to appear about as fast as I clean it.

So anyhow today I went through about 3 boxes of stuff that I didn't even know anymore what was in them.

There is something in that box, it might be useful, I don't feel like looking in there, I will toss some more stuff on top... and there is a problem.

IT DOES FEEL MUCH BETTER TO BE IN A TIDY PLACE.

One has to think of it as like a multi-week project I suspect. Instead of thinking it's all going to get done in one day.

I got a large canvas out and painted it in an attempt to relieve myself of art supplies lol. It seems like I only do this about once every 2-3 years though :(


Hopalong

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Re: Clutterbug
« Reply #8 on: September 21, 2021, 09:16:01 AM »
Oh that's just fantastic that you PAINTED, Mouse.

My house needs so much organization that I've decided that it's going to be an all-winter-long solitary project and it's actually something to look forward to, as long as I keep at it and take small daily bites. One horizontal surface or one box at a time.

For me with the ADD, it's staying with it that's the biggest challenge. I can always think through logic about purging and organizing...execution's wobbly. But it's good to think about it.

Keep on creating...

Hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Pseudo Mouse

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Re: Clutterbug
« Reply #9 on: September 21, 2021, 07:05:21 PM »
Part of the PROBLEM is I forget what is inside of boxes. I have spices that I forgot I had. Things get screwed up while moving.

Even if I don't throw away much it's good to get the grime off so I take everything out of one box check it out see if I can wipe it down, make a mental note of what I have and stick it back into the box also if I have to chuck whole boxes I know that it's not going to ruin my life, some of this stuff truly is replaceable. I live under a big freaking cedar tree and the place has old ick carpet so it is just perpetually dusty and dirty here AND it's not my fault.

I do have to say I am glad that I mostly have enough clothes etc that I don't need to go out shopping and I don't do it for fun. I want to get my Autumn and Winter stuff out and check my dresses- throw at least a couple in the clothes recycle spot etc.

Dealing with too much stuff gives me anxiety, it's hard to move but then also I don't actually own any furniture so I also never have what I need- like the mattress here is a piece of rubbish- nasty. Then the nice one I invested in long time back someone took so bleh. I hate rentals I really do. Oh well.

Pseudo Mouse

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Re: Clutterbug
« Reply #10 on: September 21, 2021, 07:37:24 PM »
Things give me anxiety Hops.

Having to deal with stuff sometimes feels overwhelming. I think it took me like 3 days of cleaning to start to see and feel a difference. I don't even have very much stuff.

Ultimately it's probably a relief to lighten it up.

I wonder if writing since it's like another space and place contributes to messes. I know when I'm super busy with classes it's almost like I don't see my environment- my mind is somewhere else.

Hopalong

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Re: Clutterbug
« Reply #11 on: September 21, 2021, 09:01:39 PM »
Me too, Mouse.
Anxiety mounts whenever I start organizing or sorting/purging crap.
I think it's a side effect of my ADD and also that (nobody would ever spot it in me, but I believe it) I might have a touch of perfectionism too.

Definitely have it with poetry or serious writing, but in my own environment it can trip me up. I'm going to work on having music I REALLY like playing when I do the kind of thing you're describing.

Another thing that takes the edge off is watching a video or two of that really kind guy, Peter somebody, who'd walk people through decluttering. Need to look it up. Just anybody who's not obsessed with HGTV perfection (borrrring) and has a mellow less-complicated attitude toward the process. (That said, I really did enjoy the Marie Kondo specials on Netflix...not the obsessiveness she brings, but the human stories...how relieved the ordinary people were.)

I love the idea of SIMPLIFYING. More than "decluttering" which sounds a bit like a blame thing.

Bonne chance! Letting go of stuff once I get the tension drained out, can feel good.
(I think when people have experienced economic fear or straight-up poverty, that can add fears..."could I ever replace this?" etc. Just know that scarcity is dire and dumping an old spice you might regret is NOT dire. Err on the side of letting more go, is my understanding of what feels good.)

hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."