Enforcing my boundaries

[Hopalong]

Hi hi.
Lup, I'm disgusted too. A Bill OReilly fan, eh?
I heard on Air America tonight how Bill gave a big yak about how he just went to a restaurant in Harlem and he was AMAZED that it was just like any other restaurant, in spite of all the black people, and that everyone was "very respectful" because of course, "They all watch The Factor."

Your boss has a serious case of enormous ignorance. That sure puts a personal face on prejudice. I'm very sorry.

You have to speak to him about it because that is your first step in case of any future legal proceeding. Your former boss is right. It's an EEO issue. (Equal Employment Opportunity). And could morph into harrassment.

I don't have anything birlliant, except that it can be brief, there is no reason for you to feel vulnerable. You just need to make eye contact and say:

The remarks you make about immigrants and the other comments you make about my language, accent, how I came to America, etc. are offensive to me. I feel isolated and disliked when you make these remarks, and the teachers follow your example. Please stop making remarks about my ethnicity. I am an American and I am not here to be harrassed because of your political opinions.

Something like that? I don't have any first-hand experience...but that's how I'd handle sexual harrassment, and racial/ethnic prejudice is very similar.

Good luck, Lup.
love,
Hops

[cats paw]

Lupita,

   The point I wanted to make is does it have to be tomorrow?  Yes, it is always the first step, but I was hoping you'd have a little room to take a breath and perhaps kick it around here a bit.  If you even need to kick it around any further.  Glad to see you went out tonight!

    You've gotten some of those great role playing conversations, so if tomorrow has to be the day, or you want it to be the day,
go for it!

cats paw

[Hopalong]

This will help you think about it, i believe, Lupita...

http://www.eeoc.gov/policy/docs/harassment-facts.html

hugs
Hops

[isittoolate]

Dear Lupita,

I am so sorry for your problems, the harassment.

Reading this story of yours is very disheartening.  It makes me sorry to be a 'human' when others can behave this way against others!

I have read the posts and believe you have been given good advice and support.

I wish you well.

Can anyone say if this is also slander? The spoken word with witnesses = Aha? The spoken word of lies!

Love Izzy

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[Lupita]

Thank you dear frinds. Thank you to all for your support. It seems like and endless point of deffending my self all my life, against my mother and other humans. I cannot have peace. God is putting me in this situation. Please, pray for me. I will use Hop speech if I get the courage to talk to him tomorow. I feel sorry for my self for the first time in few months. God help me to survive. I hope.

[Lupita]

Please pray for me, I just need to survive, jsut to live to the next day, please god help me, plase, help me, please God be with em, Please God I need your help.

[Lupita]

Please God I just need to put beens on my table. That is all I want. I am a good persone. I am a goos Christiian. I need friends.

[Lupita]

I just wanted the amrerian dream, liberty and to pursue mydreamns, to be an americabn,I am an american now, just want to wrok in in oeace, to love my students, to eb free, to wrok hard for this wonderful country, I am an american, I am rpouud to be an american please God ehlp me!!!!
For am Proud to be an american where I least I say I am free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lupita]

God!!!! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!! Help me!!!!!! I am your child God!!!!!!!!!!

[Lupita]

God, I am your chld, do not abandone me,  please!!!i

[isittoolate]

Lupita,

God has not abandoned you. He never will.
If you feel abandoned, it might be that you have abandoned yourself?
I see you crying for help---can you cry to another part of you for help?
You have been through awful agony with hurting words.
Ask God to "Forgive them for they know not what they do"?
There is no human who can help you but YOU!

Here you will hear things like I have just said, but I cannot lay my hand on your hurt and have it be healed, as Jesus did!  Those were the good old days!

God has not put you in a situation. You have stumbled across a situation on your own and He is waiting for you to manage it.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could email God with our problems and He could plunk us down on the right road?

Hang iin there
Love
Izzy

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[lighter]

Ahhhhhh, Lupita.

God has not abandoned you.

This is a trying time for you, I know.

So much pressure and stress and now it's like a bomb went off in your world.

Please...... make some tea... not sure caffein is good for you right now but....

You must calm down so.....

Something warm and comforting to drink?  Good

Listen.....

That small minded little bigot must be some kind of intimidated by you, your education, ability to speak so many languages..... that he can't keep his idiot mouth shut.

Sure, he's a bigot.

But.... the thing is.... he's a cruel bigot.

Please ask yourself.... what happened to this man that he's behaving this way?

What's going on in his life that he's so hateful and risking professional and legal trouble to say such bigoted and hurtful things?

Something's going on in his life, Lupita.

Please, put the helmet on, don't internalize the things he's saying..... they're age old coping mechanisms for small people to feel better about themselves by tearing down groups of people.  Same old same old.

Identify it for what it is.... NOTHING PERSONAL..... ignorant and PLEASE....

be glad that you AREN'T THOSE THINGS.... today.

Breath deeply and notice what you do have in your life....

think about escaping that place and finding satisfaction in your workplace with equals.

Get out your prayer book.... the prayer attributed to St. Francis.... calm serenity.... protection, Lupita.

Avail yourself to your own strength.

You're stronger than you know.

[Hopalong]

Lupita,

While you assert yourself, pity him.
I mean biblical pity...which is sorrow and compassion.

It is a sorrowful thing to be so insecure you can't see other human beings,
just categories. How small he must feel. How frightened.

You have more power than you know.

hugs
Hops

[changing]

Lupita -

I have been praying for you and will continue. I am also going to request special prayers at the church. Your job now is to take care of business. Don't despair, dear Lupita-you are more than your circumstances. Go through your day taking care of your work and home priorities, ignore the riff-raff, save your money, and secretly prepare yourself for whatever comes or whatever you want to change. This may blow over soon- sometimes the swine get distracted by other pressing matters in their swinish lives. In the meantime, you will be steadily adding to your security and ability to go elsewhere, if you decide that that change is needed.
You are a good , capable and intelligent lady, and can go into that workplace knowing that God is protecting you, and you can hold yourself above the abhorent activities  and vulgar hurtful talk some there indulge in. In due time, when you are prepared and secure in yourself, you can make your move. Please know that I care and am thinking of you, and have confidence that you will judge the situation and do what is right at the right time (don't let anyone goad you into hasty talk or action in response to their cruelty- you are above them in every way).

Love,

Changing

[Lupita]

Well, I talked to the pastor. Since the school is a church school. I told him everything. He said that he was sorry I was feeling that way and that Dr. U's behavior was inappropriate. At least I got some validation. He said that he will pray and find the way to address the issue.
At the mean time, I will follow most of your advises. Save as much as I can. Almost nothing. I am paying too much to the doctors and hospital after my surgery. Twenty dollars a month to each person sums an amount of 220 a month, I am broke. The only pleasure I have is my salsa classes.
But I will check the internet every single day and as soon as I see a position open I will apply. Teaching positions are full at this time. They were filled before the starting fo classes. But I will keep my eyes open. Buy newspaper every Sunday, and check county's website everyday. As soon as I can I will go. At the mean time I feel much better after the pastor told me that he was inappropriate. I do not know if that is good or bad. But I feel better. It is out of my hands.
Thank you for your prayers.
At the mean time, think that everywhere I am going to find racist people. Everywhere. Wherever I work I am going to find racist people. But I want to find a place where the boss is not.
God bless you.