Probably many people will criticize me but I still post it since I have been criticized all my life, it wont hurt more.
I was triggered all night long. GFM trying to control everything all night. Not letting me talk to my son and GF, always chasing me around, as if she was afraid that I was going to still something. Telling me what to do all night. Come here, why you do not drink, come and dance, sit there, I could not make a conversation with anybody, because she was always there to interrupt anything that I did.
Again, GF, just wanted that my son to be there adoring her. She sits on the sofa and goes down a little. My son then puts his head or lips by her chick and there they are all the time. Friends their age are dancing, talking, interacting, they are also boyfriend and girlfriend, but my son an his GF only isolated. If somebody comes to talk to them, she immediately stands up and goes to another room. Then, my son starts looking for her with his eyes, until he finds her. Then, either he goes to her or she calls him loud. Then he goes. She quickly finds another sofa to sit and do the same operation. If I try to interact with them, GFM comes immediately and stops me, interrupts me, answer any question I ask the kids. She never let the kids answer any question directly to me. In fact, I have never ever had any interaction with GF. GFM has plenty of interaction with my son.
At the request of several friends and pushing GF a lot, at 2:00 AM, she for the first time accepted to come out to the party and danced one song. Then, somebody asked my son to dance one song with me. Come on, dance with your mother. He did. Of course, GF immediately left.
Then I see my son looking for her with his eyes. He finishes one song and of he goes to find her.
I think GFM is trying to disguise a psychological disease of her daughter, or she is totally an N. The daughter is totally empty. She has no conversation at all. All the women last night were friends or family of GFM and I felt that everybody was ganging up against me. It was like everybody was attempting to impede me to interact with my son and GF.
Everybody gave me a bad look when at the end, 3:00 am I decided to leave and asked my son to come with me because he had had a few drinks and did not want him to stay there either half drunk or to drive.
This morning they were talking in codes. My son answering only monosyllables, yes, no, when he said “not my choice” I knew they are a team against me. On the phone.
We are going to eat together today, as it was a previous commitment. This has to be my last interaction with these people. I am sick, very sick, very sad, I cannot explain the devastation and desolation I feel. I worked so hard to raise my son alone, and he is abandoning me. And I do not say, physically but emotionally. I thought we would be friends forever. I thought I would be part of his world. Part of his life. Part of his family. The family that I never had. And my son has his own apartment that shares with friends, university students, he does not live with me. He only spends with me a few days for Chrsitmas and that is it. He will go back to his apartment tonight probably. His GF goes there all the time, they sleep together, the have a lot of time a lone, how come they cannot interact with me in a family party?
This woman will suck him up into her twisted asperger-ized world and narcissistic family. And nobody let me interact with her so I can build some kind of a relationship with her.
I lost. I lost again.
What is the purpose of my life? I do not know. I guess, stay alive just in case my son starts drowning and I have to help him. He might need me in the future.
Parents are supposed to be there, unconditionally.
I have seen my SIL to turn into the worst enemy of my mother. I am terrified that it would happen to me. My son will hate me if he listens to bad comments all the time. A lie repeated too many times becomes a true in the mind of a person.
I saw the other daughter of GFM, obese, around 300 lb, maybe more, with three children. The husband does not see his family very much. His family was not there at all. Probably they sucked him in too.
Today I gave my son a hug and told him happy new year son, god bless you. I felt the sensation that he was going away very far away for a long long time.
Please God, help me to do whatever I am supposed to do, although I do not know what. Just pray and wait. Pray the Lord for whatever he wants for my son. Please, help me to accept my situation.