The NON-narcissistic parent poll

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

Please note!  This poll is for people who had a non-narcissistic parent!

Imagine the following scenario:

You are in a motor boat on the ocean, alone with your non-narcissistic parent.  You are 8 years old and your parent is 40.   Suddenly, there is a small explosion in the boat.  No one is injured, but it is clear that the boat will sink.  There are no lifejackets, but there is a lifeboat.  Unfortunately, the lifeboat will hold only one person.  (If  2 people try to get in or hold on it will sink).  Therefore, it is obvious that only one person will survive.  What would your parent do?   Please note:  if you had one narcissistic parent (e.g. on shore) who controlled your non-narcissistic parent, please make your choice as if the narcissistic parent did not exist.

Best,

Richard

p.s.  Of course comments are welcome!  But please vote before you read people's comments!  Also, please vote before you check the results of the poll!

[gratitude28]

This is very sad for me, Dr. Grossman. I do believe this is what he'd say, but lately I am not so sure. Maybe this belief is what helped me get through my adolescence, whether it was true or not.
Love, Beth

[teartracks]

Hi Dr. G.

Unlike before I feel confident in choosing the first option in this poll.

tt 

[Leah]

Dear Dr Grossman,

If you had a non-narcissistic parent

So, I have voted as if I had a parent such as this, and it was most pleasant to think of hearing; "I love you"

Thank you.

Leah 

[Hopalong]

Doc G,
I'm not sure my sweet Dad would have verbalized love (he was not given to verbal declarations) but I know as sure as I breathe that he would've sacrificed his life for me.

What do the polls mean?

Hops

[nogadge]

Dr. G,
My choice was the first option, I know of my parents love for me, even tho they died long ago.  That would be what they both would have done, except they would have swam along side, holding on to the outside of the boat encouraging me to row for as long as they could, and kept telling me we would be alright, we can make it, we knew what we had to do.  Then,
they would have waited for me to fall asleep if they knew they couldn't make it, to let go, so I would be spared watching as they died.  Nogadge

[Certain Hope]

Nogadge, that's such a beautiful picture of genuine parental love... thank you for sharing. You and your parents were blessed to have each other for the time you did.

I am pretty sure my Dad would do that, too, as you described, so I voted on this one.

Carolyn

[debkor]

When I took this poll I also answered with the first answer.  I also would say that my parents would of done exactly the same as nodage so beautiful described.

My dad like Hops dad was non verbal man with the I love you.  My mom on the other hand was very verbal with I love you's all over the place. 

But what does it matter because I felt nothing but love from both and sometimes words go unspoken.  It's not so much what people say it's what they do and how they make you feel and I felt very loved. 

Love
Deb

[Iphi]

nogadge - I did not have parents like you describe, but I hope and, with all my will and heart, will strive to be such a parent.

[Leah]

Thank you, Nogadge, for sharing of the love you were so blessed with; parental love, unconditional.

The love, I hope, I express to my dear son, of whom, I would have no hesitation in encouraging him to row onwards toward safety, whilst expressing my love for him.

My son and I, both, together, have survived, much cruelty in life through prejudicial malice and abuse, all of which, very much, with a survivor spirit.

Leah x

[gratitude28]

Nogadge,
Thanks from me too. That is what I would do for my children. I never knew true love until I had them, I don't believe. Loving them has made me be able to love others.
Love, Beth