What is Your Take on This??

[gratitude28]

For the past day or so, friends and family sent around one of those quizzes where you fill in information such as, "What food do you like best," "Where would you like to retire," etc. One of the questions was, "What trait do you dislike the most?" I noted that my bossy friend said bossiness And I know that psychology-wise the things that bother you the most in others are what really bother you in yourself...
So... NM answered that the trait that bothered her the most is "envy." I find that weird as she loves for people to envy her, tries to get them to do so.... Why would she pick that trait???

[SilverLining]

A couple of thoughts.  She hates to see people envious of anybody other than her.  Or maybe underneath the N persona she is envious of everybody else.  Or she unconsciously despises that she is in such need of the envy of others?     

[gratitude28]

Those are all strong possibilities. I had one other thought - that she pointed out envy because she wants everyone to know that she feels people are envious of her???? I think also that what you said may be right - she hates the need to envy (but would not recognize this consciously).
It's nice to hear from you, SL

[teartracks]

Hi Beth,

What popped into my mind is that envy is one of the seven 'deadlies'.   I went to Wiki.  It says:

Envy
Like greed, envy may be characterized by an insatiable desire; they differ, however, for two main reasons. First, greed is largely associated with material goods, whereas envy may apply more generally. Second, those who commit the sin of envy resent that another person has something they perceive themselves as lacking, and wish the other person to be deprived of it. Dante defined this as "love of one's own good perverted to a desire to deprive other men of theirs." In Dante's Purgatory, the punishment for the envious is to have their eyes sewn shut with wire, because they have gained sinful pleasure from seeing others brought low. Aquinas described envy as "sorrow for another's good". [1]

Just a thought...

tt

[gratitude28]

Wow, tt,
That is very profound. I had thought of it much more simply - as you say, something like greed. But in the context you brought up, it would fully be the kind of emotion she would feel towards people.
Maybe this is the only honest thought she has had (albeit unbeknownst to her) in ages...
Love, Beth

[debkor]

Hi Beth,

I think if my friend took this test would answer because she says this all the time.... being to nice...Oh she is N by the way.

She is a liar and she steals but to her it's not because she does not rob banks just....does not put soda on the check out...or eats what she wants then puts the box back..or switches prices....

So today she complained about her friend and said....The one thing I absolutely hate and despise  and are the worst are liars and people who steal 

Love
Deb

[gratitude28]

Ha ha, Deb.
I have figured out whatever NM complains most loudly about is what she is up to... One time she complained about a gamesite we played on - that a man had hit on her and she was just so upset. Then I find out she is having sex chats with a man online. Always the lie for the distraction. So I think whatever they bring up is exactly what they are pretending they don't do/know nothing about/fear.
Stealing is despicable. Funny how, for them, it is bad if others do it, but not when they do. Ahhhhh the justification...
Love, Beth

[debkor]

Hey Beth,

I remember Laura saying..if you listen closely they will eventually always tell on themselves and that turned out to be Oh so True. 

Ok Beth tell me this one.  When you have no idea not one bit about what they are doing why do they open themselves up and throw something out there to make you raise an eyebrow, such as your mom, a man hit on me and I'm so upset. 

My ex...most men cheat...but not me...just look at the statics out there..not me though...

It's not guilt.  Is it shame? Why say anything if no one knows besides them? 

Love
Deb