My Truth

[Meh]

Scape Goats, they were livestock animals that were ritually slaughtered. Somehow the people put all their own wrongdoings on to the goats. When the goat died, the wrongdoings and bad feelings symbolically died. The goat suffered like a whipping boy suffers.

I think whipping boys are great examples of some really screwed up rationalization that happens in people's minds.

It reminds me of Narcissism in some way. I guess the way the Nar-person put's their own badness onto another person.

Disowning the badness, trying to get rid of it, but they do not succeed in ridding themselves permanently that is why they desperately need the scape goat.  A scape goat is the external attempt to resolve an internal issue.  

[Meh]

Ami mentioned the Nar-smirk. That mean smile that they get.

Well, I think that Nar people are always habitually looking for certain facial expressions in other people. If they see a certain facial expression that shows some past suffering, then they know that we have been a victim in the past and that they will be able to tap into our past hurts and wounds and open them up again.

I think Narcissists are always searching like predators with feelers for potential victims. They do little things and flash little looks and a victim will show some fear. That is how they find us, they can find people who have already been wounded and they know because of how we react.

Once they get their hook into us, it is unrelenting. The soul sucking starts.

There is a belief that the "victims" seek out more people to victimize them again. I don't think I agree with this philosophy. I think the predators are activly hunting all the time. I do actively make choices and changes in my life to limit my Nar-person exposure. But I can not control everything in life.

[Ami]

The Ns are predators. The worse predator is the NM with her own child. It doesn't get much worse than that type of betrayal,Helen.
 I don't think it is hopeless, though.          Ami

[Meh]

Rumi : "There is a field out beyond right and wrong, I will meet you there."

I have always liked this saying, in my naive years I believed this was or could be true for every person. Through trial and error, I have grown to learn, some people do not want to go out to that field beyond right and wrong, and a person can't change that fact.

Some people will stay forever in the right and wrong and do not have eyes to see the field beyond.

I'm letting it go..whoosh..

[BonesMS]

All N's are predators.  I see them as Nar-sharks!!!

Bones

[polymath]

Where does it end? An N man was a boy under the wing of an N mother who was a girl hurt in some horrific way by one or both her parents. My Nmom was sexually abused by her father and her mother preferred her brother. My mom's mom's sister tells me granny was always that way. My mom tells me my granny's dad was dismissive, aloof and cold towards my granny. Why was he that way? What happened to him and his parents, and their parents?

I'm sure you all can trace this same mess back through your tree. Why, why why, and more importantly how to stop it?

[Ami]

Did you mean your Mother's brother was sexually abused by their mother. RS?                             Ami                   

[lighter]

Helen:

I loved your reference to Rumi's poem.

It prompted me to look it up.

There is a field

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about.
Rumi

I think I prefer your paraphrased version.


"There is a field out beyond right and wrong,  I will meet you there."

Yes.... I like that better.

I think such a field suits Amazons,

buidling bonfires.  

::nod::

Mo2

[Meh]

"There is a field out beyond right and wrong,  I will meet you there."

Yes.... I like that better.

I think such a field suits Amazons,

buidling bonfires.  

::nod::

Mo2

Well, I think the shorter version was made for a bumper sticker.

Hum, Mo2, These Amazons you speak of.. like amazon jungles with snakes and temple ruins.. Or Amazon women.. or both... or

[Meh]

Where does it end? An N man was a boy under the wing of an N mother who was a girl hurt in some horrific way by one or both her parents. My Nmom was sexually abused by her father and her mother preferred her brother. My mom's mom's sister tells me granny was always that way. My mom tells me my granny's dad was dismissive, aloof and cold towards my granny. Why was he that way? What happened to him and his parents, and their parents?

I'm sure you all can trace this same mess back through your tree. Why, why why, and more importantly how to stop it?

Polymath:


I’m respectfully requesting that you not “contact me”.




Meaning that you do not respond to me. I have intentionally not responded to any of your posts. We are on different paths and our processes are totally incongruent. I see no meaningful contributions we can offer to each other’s progress. I have no answers for you.


Best Regards,

Helen  

[Sealynx]

Hi Helen,
I have not read all of this thread but all the parts I've had time to digest resonate with me. I always talk about my childhood as a gray featureless terrain without texture. I don't remember much of it, not because it was always painful, but because there were no peak experiences to remember. I spent the better part of my life waiting and hoping for that color to fade in. Childhood was like a movie that played out in front of me but never let me on the set.

Keep writing....
S

[lighter]

[Well, I think the shorter version was made for a bumper sticker.

Hum, Mo2, These Amazons you speak of.. like amazon jungles with snakes and temple ruins.. Or Amazon women?

And a wonderful bumper sticker it would make.

As for these Amazons I speak of....

this board is full of strong Amazonian women (and honorary member, Mud.)

Been a while since we've had a bonfire: )

Mo2

[sKePTiKal]

PS: I feel so sorry for the "little Helen" part of me that did not get to give love, I'm thinking how children naturally want to give love.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((little Helen)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

It's never too late to start, you know. "Life ain't too late".

Love,

[Meh]

Hi Helen,
I have not read all of this thread but all the parts I've had time to digest resonate with me. I always talk about my childhood as a gray featureless terrain without texture. I don't remember much of it, not because it was always painful, but because there were no peak experiences to remember. I spent the better part of my life waiting and hoping for that color to fade in. Childhood was like a movie that played out in front of me but never let me on the set.

Keep writing....
S

Yes, Sealynx,

Your description is perfect...I relate to this...this is how I felt exactly. Like you stated: Like Childhood was a movie playing in front of me and I was not allowed on the set.

Yes, mine was gray also, until I started writing on this board and then I realized much of it was sad or seemed insignificant.
Then I started realizing the seemingly insignificant things are sometimes very important.

Anyways, Hi!

[Meh]

PS: I feel so sorry for the "little Helen" part of me that did not get to give love, I'm thinking how children naturally want to give love.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((little Helen)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

It's never too late to start, you know. "Life ain't too late".

Love,

Hug ((((((((((Phoenix))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Hug Squeeeeze

Thanks!!