And on we go....
very happy Bday in the nearest large city.
Wandered the wonderful turn-o'-century neighborhood with its fabulous restored homes, ate at a Cuban lunchery I'd looked up (he has Cuban roots too, the heritage is insane--Costa Rican, Manhattan, Spain, Cuba, Ireland...fascinating muttage). And he looks 100% Irish so it's funny when he bursts into Spanish all the time with his colleagues or on the phone. Drank beer, talked, laughed, wandered, got silly, toured a condo open house for the hell of it, patted a huge Malinois who was mellow as a St. Bernard (uncharacteristically)...drove home the pretty way that adds 10 minutes in exchange for often being the only vehicle on long stretches of tree canopied road, fields each side. I'll never understand why people forgo that drive for the bland interstate, but suits me they do!
We're waking slowly from the honeymoon-feelings torpor but working our way through things pretty well, communication is good. A few sticky points (he keeps mentioning my D in a tragic tone and I have asked him to stop bringing it up more than once) -- but nothing we can't work our way through.
And we have building anticipation about our trip to Paris (then me to Oslo and him to Jerusalem to lecture for a week, then Istanbul...but he's cutting out the Madrid leg because he says he'd rather come back to be with me). Turns out he'd told himself this sweeping trip would be a kind of funereal tour because he was in such grief, and was beginning to think his life was over (at 72!). Now that we're together he's got a different mindset.
I found a dog sitter who's solid as the earth which is a great load off my mind. She radiates calm and responsibility and I'm so relieved she'll be here with Pooch, whom I've never left for so long.
The where-to-live question does loom and I want to drag it out but pretty much think it's inevitable that I'll need to move into his house. Even though I loathe wealthy white enclaves it is a pretty space, right on a lake, and only 10 minutes farther from downtown than I am now. It'll be emotionally very hard to leave my sweet home, but given that mine's too small for two (and he has generations of family Stuff, sigh) and I'll have two rooms of my own at his (a bedroom and study), it is just not rational to resist the logic of it. He's still looking at sweet properties in the Bay Area but as far as I can tell, we're seeing home base as here, and long visits out there...as our solution. He sounds happy about it (staying here near his friends where he's been for 20 years, and before than in DC which isn't far)...and maybe having a house or condo out where his sons are will increase his feelings of freedom and security -- and he says it'll be a smart investment regardless.
Makes sense. I don't know if it'll be this fall or next fall, but I need to get ready to rent mine out at some point. Don't have to make the decision or the move in any rush, though. We already are together 3 times/week on average, sometimes more.
So far, so good! And I am still very very grateful.
xxoo
Hops
