Interesting article on Facebook and narcissism

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

Hi everybody,

Here's an interesting article on Facebook and narcissism from The Guardian:

"Facebook's 'dark side': study finds link to socially aggressive narcissism"

 by Damien Pearse

guardian.co.uk, Sat 17 Mar 2012 13.41 GMT

http://m.guardian.co.uk/technology/2012/mar/17/facebook-dark-side-study-aggressive-narcissism?cat=technology&type=article

A few quotes from the article:

"Researchers have established a direct link between the number of friends you have on Facebook and the degree to which you are a "socially disruptive" narcissist, confirming the conclusions of many social media sceptics."

"Carol Craig, a social scientist and chief executive of the Centre for Confidence and Well-being, said young people in Britain were becoming increasingly narcissistic and Facebook provided a platform for the disorder.

The way that children are being educated is focussing more and more on the importance of self esteem – on how you are seen in the eyes of others. This method of teaching has been imported from the US and is 'all about me'."

"Dr Viv Vignoles, senior lecturer in social psychology at Sussex University, said there was "clear evidence" from studies in America that college students were becoming increasingly narcissistic."

All comments are welcome!

Richard

[BonesMS]

Interesting!!!!!  Thanks, Dr. G!

I confess that I'm on Facebook every day as I have my business page set up there and trying to find clients through that.  I use my non-business page to network with other Star Trek fans, CERT, and other civic stuff going on in my community, (and occasionally posting a political rant or two when I get annoyed enough).  When one of my FB friends offered to teach Tai Chi nearby, for free last summer, I took the risk and enjoyed the experience!  (Better than staying isolated and depressed.)

I've also encountered some WEIRD people that I UN-Friended pronto after giving them one warning concerning boundaries.  One insisted on posting porn on my wall and I gave him the boot!  (I don't like nonsense from anyone young enough to be my grandchild!)  If they want to talk about Star Trek, GREAT!  If they want to share funny pictures of kittens and puppies doing silly things....even better!  If we want to share pictures of the latest high school reunion or CERT activities, no problem!  Those who seem to be exhibiting N-behaviors, (e.g. Look at ME-ME-ME-ME!!!!), non-stop, I can hide their comments when they start plucking my last nerve.  I've even been able to reconnect with friends that I hadn't seen for 30 to 40 years and it's great to be able to chat with them through FB.

I guess the most important thing is finding that healthy balance.

P.S.  I also have to confess that I'm hooked on playing the Journey of Moses game.......

[JustKathy]

I SO agree with these findings. I have a friend who I've ceased contact with because of her extreme narcissism. She's now on Facebook and has taken that narcissism to a new level. The friend limit on FB is 5,000, which is perfectly fair since no one has 5,000 friends unless they are a public figure, in which case you are encouraged to set up a fan page. This woman (my former friend) has two accounts, one with her name and the second with the number 2 after it, to hold overflow friends. She keeps her friend limit maxed out on both accounts, friending complete strangers to make herself look important (9,000 friends between the two accounts). Her delusion of grandeur is that she's a famous artist, so she must have these friends to heap adoration on her and perpetuate the myth that she's "internationally known."

I have watched her absolutely obsess over the friend count. Anyone with that number of friends will typically lose 5-10 a day - probably people who get sick of the endless posts about the person's greatness. I have seen her up at all hours of the night, combing FB for any interested party so she can get that number back up to 5,000 by morning. She has friended people in Russia, Turkey, and numerous countries where the "friends" do not even speak English. In fact, with that number of friends, odds are that many of them are bots.

I'm actually surprised that my NM hasn't discovered FB yet. I see in this the unpopular girl in high school who, 30 years later, is able to prove that she's "popular" because she now has 5,000 "friends." It's an N's dream

[Ales2]

I have not read this article, so can't comment on it specifically.

But, I can relate!!!!  I can attest to the broader statement about Nism on FB, because I was briefly "friended" by a quasi-business partner, a published author with 5k friends and he is an extreme N - entitled, grandiose, self absorbed, constant attention and admiration seeker and yet remains emotionally unavailable to his wife and daughter (a 21 yr. old heroin addict - thats another story entirely). He encouraged groupies, posted pictures of his athletic/career accomplishments and my personal favorite - a semi-nude picture (i.e a towel over his you-know-what) from his college locker room days.  This guy incited a rivalry between two female groupies and the end result was that he had to shut down his FB.  HA!  His posts and the squabbles on there were more fun and interesting than SNL!!!

Anyway, I find FB amusing, but have been on the lookout for Nist behavior... I have not unfriended anyone yet, but expect I will in the future.

 

[sKePTiKal]

All in all, human behavior doesn't change that much that quickly... so we're just using a new medium to interact in all the same old ways. I'm sure it's the ideal tool for Ns to gather N-supply - "look at me! I'm so cool!"... and I'm sure a lot of people unsubscribe to their posts pretty quickly in response, too and then unfriend them.

Me, I'm gonna spend the hours required to delete my old content on FB before I get switched over to timeline and have trouble figuring it out. One techie glitch... and OOPS... the whole world can see what I intended to be private. Heading that off at the pass.

[BonesMS]

I have not read this article, so can't comment on it specifically.

But, I can relate!!!!  I can attest to the broader statement about Nism on FB, because I was briefly "friended" by a quasi-business partner, a published author with 5k friends and he is an extreme N - entitled, grandiose, self absorbed, constant attention and admiration seeker and yet remains emotionally unavailable to his wife and daughter (a 21 yr. old heroin addict - thats another story entirely). He encouraged groupies, posted pictures of his athletic/career accomplishments and my personal favorite - a semi-nude picture (i.e a towel over his you-know-what) from his college locker room days.  This guy incited a rivalry between two female groupies and the end result was that he had to shut down his FB.  HA!  His posts and the squabbles on there were more fun and interesting than SNL!!!

Anyway, I find FB amusing, but have been on the lookout for Nist behavior... I have not unfriended anyone yet, but expect I will in the future.

 

As I was reading about over-aged college-frat boy attempting to gather "groupies", plus that locker room towel routine, I'm thinking "EEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!"

Bones

[JustKathy]

I'm sure it's the ideal tool for Ns to gather N-supply - "look at me! I'm so cool!"... and I'm sure a lot of people unsubscribe to their posts pretty quickly in response, too and then unfriend them.

Yes! I see this daily with my N-friend and her 5,000 Facebook "friends." She loses 5-10 a day, then scrambles to replace them. She doesn't care who she adds, as long as that number stays at 5k. Facebook has a an unlimited supply of potential "friends," many of them spammers, bots, or fellow Ns. It's not at all hard for them to gather that N-supply.

Just a side note: a friend of mine who also has an N-mother tried an experiment with this. She created a fake ID, fake person, with a fake photo and fake profile, just to see how many people would friend someone they didn't know. Amazing as this sounds, over 200 people accepted her friend request on the first day. That's 200 people who friended someone who didn't exist, and she probably could have gone higher if she had really tried.

[JustKathy]

Bones, I've seen many people (and a surprising number of them men) post provocative photos of themselves on Facebook. Ewwwwwww indeed.

[Ales2]

Bones - eeewwww about revealing photos is right..

Kathy - This quasi business partner also added people he did not know (quite a few - anyone who said they read his book) as well as some completely fake profiles and paid the price for it.

[BonesMS]

Bones, I've seen many people (and a surprising number of them men) post provocative photos of themselves on Facebook. Ewwwwwww indeed.

I can never understand people who do that.

Bones

[BonesMS]

Bones - eeewwww about revealing photos is right..

Kathy - This quasi business partner also added people he did not know (quite a few - anyone who said they read his book) as well as some completely fake profiles and paid the price for it.

I struggle to understand this kind of behavior.

Bones

[BonesMS]

I'm sure it's the ideal tool for Ns to gather N-supply - "look at me! I'm so cool!"... and I'm sure a lot of people unsubscribe to their posts pretty quickly in response, too and then unfriend them.

Yes! I see this daily with my N-friend and her 5,000 Facebook "friends." She loses 5-10 a day, then scrambles to replace them. She doesn't care who she adds, as long as that number stays at 5k. Facebook has a an unlimited supply of potential "friends," many of them spammers, bots, or fellow Ns. It's not at all hard for them to gather that N-supply.

Just a side note: a friend of mine who also has an N-mother tried an experiment with this. She created a fake ID, fake person, with a fake photo and fake profile, just to see how many people would friend someone they didn't know. Amazing as this sounds, over 200 people accepted her friend request on the first day. That's 200 people who friended someone who didn't exist, and she probably could have gone higher if she had really tried.

*Shaking and scratching head in bewilderment*

Bones

[SilverLining]

With my own acquaintances, I see Facebook use correlated with narcissistic tendencies, and also depression.   My siblings are heavy users of anti-depressants, and heavy users of facebook.  Could there be a connection?  They were taking AD's before FB appeared, so it didn't cause the depression.   But it sure appears to be a diversion from effective dealing with their problems.  

Seems to me FB might make a good enhancement to pre existing relationships.  It's a way to stay connected without the bother of writing and sending physical letters through the mail.  But as soon as people start relying on FB as a source of relationship in itself, there is huge potential for problems.   What does a person do when they need a ride to the airport and their only friends are on the internet?  FB could make people feel a false sense of connection when they really are more alone and isolated than ever.  



  

[BonesMS]

With my own acquaintances, I see Facebook use correlated with narcissistic tendencies, and also depression.   My siblings are heavy users of anti-depressants, and heavy users of facebook.  Could there be a connection?  They were taking AD's before FB appeared, so it didn't cause the depression.   But it sure appears to be a diversion from effective dealing with their problems.  

Seems to me FB might make a good enhancement to pre existing relationships.  It's a way to stay connected without the bother of writing and sending physical letters through the mail.  But as soon as people start relying on FB as a source of relationship in itself, there is huge potential for problems.   What does a person do when they need a ride to the airport and their only friends are on the internet?  FB could make people feel a false sense of connection when they really are more alone and isolated than ever.  

Well, in one sense, the relationship issues could apply here as well when there are no 3-D relationships to balance it out.

Bones

[Baddaughter]

I enjoyed the article.  I am a user and lover of Facebook --(218 friends)  although I am not sure to how many people I would admit the love part.  I see some validity to the article but think it bears further scrutiny.  I love making friends all over the world and usually I locate them during those stupid Facebook games or forums that I am hooked on.  But out of 200 or so friends that have come and gone during the two years that I've been using it, a handful have become "fast" friends.  Like a real social contact, when the need of it is gone, sometimes it disappears, but sometimes you meet really warm wonderful people and over time, get to "know" them.  And my attitude is to keep it light and breezy and not to invest too much emotionally into these virtual friends.  I have a few that we post a pic back and forth or brighten each others day -- so it is good clean fun if you let it be.  If a narcissist gets on Facebook -- that would be about 1 in 10 users anyway wouldn't it?  And that is a lot of people and researchers would notice the Ns first if that is what they were looking for. Wouldn't be the cup of tea for someone who had no desire to see and be seen.  Let's face it, "Fools Names and Fools Faces are Always Seen in Public Places."  I am sure that is an oversimplification and will probably argue the "other side" when this comes up again.  I agree with Bones about the depression part but think it is more a form of self medication like drugs or alcohol.  People really get hooked on it -- especially if not much worthwhile or fulfilling in the real world.  I got hooked after my parents died -- but don't "need" as much now.   And there are at least as many Voyeurs as Narcissists on Facebook -- apparently I have quite a few tendencies of each, to my shame.  Facebook really is full of hackers, identity thieves, viruses and bots and a sane person would stay away for that alone.  But meanwhile, consider it "Liked!"