--continuing and heading for the Fourth Specialist
A blood specialist is next and I am pretending that I can bear this pain, while one specialist sends me on to another. To the last one, I suggested leukemia for the next one. I have so many forks in the road., so have a couple of other suggestions for the next specialists-----so this is how they make their money----and I want to go see a psychotherapist to find out if I am being led down the garden path by a Mafia Made for Me.
You know, ¿, I should have kept up my journal, but as I already told you, I lost it with a computer problem that I just figured out, tonight, how to rectify. The aches, pains and any other problems that arose from the accident have now turned into problems that appear to not be accident related, and I expect my next tests to be for a blood disorder. ( I also feel that each specialist knows nothing about what went on with the second last Specialist, on the last referral, and that details are being dropped along the way.)
I am home all the time, at least have my bath lift and have Karla and Ellen. .About all I do is bit by bit load the garbage, load the dishwasher and turn it on but last week I had to have Ellen empty it. My arms pained too much. I don.t even go downstairs for my mail, as it is painful----I feel like the HOME is near, but yet I am still managing and can even clean the toilet…..a bit like --don,t reach too high: don,t reach too low and NEVER land on the floor.
My furniture never moves, and if I can move an item, I can put it back, so my apartment always looks the same, neat---never untidy. Ellen is very good with all the rest. Therapy is on hold from my weakness but Karla is just the best, for hauling me in her car from place to place.
Somehow I believe that the accident (4 yrs. 4 months ago) is not a (large, anyway) part of what is happening now. Pains to aches to weakness to strength with pain etc. I never know what to expect and now think of pain pill addiction. Without the pain my shoulders are very strong., but I can transfer, very painfully, but from chair to bed etc.
My car is going unused, but I have had Ellen take me to my local places of dealing by pushing me in the chair, and, if necessary, (requiring my signature) then explain that she is doing for me (11 years with same places, they rather know me in this minor 2 bx1 block area.). I see I am putting off a HOME until I have run the gamut of…What is Wrong ¿
A for instance, is awakening to have to go P, but not awake enough pulling the chair toward me and misjudged the brake on the far side. The chair moved and I went to the floor, but I spent 2 hours (rebuilding the whole bedroom ) to get me back up and into the chair----this was the first time after my shoulders pained and went weak. (I guess I scared everything so much I just went back to bed and waited until morning to P.)
This is all not pleasant but if can avoid a situation like above and days go smoothly my way, I have it under control. If I goof , it is my fault, but I will figure a way out!
Until I know what the answer is for the pains and weakness, low haemoglobin---even if it is connected to the accident, I signed a waiver to never sue again -- I won,t know if I will be here or in a HOME
I never thought my life would come to this and can only hope for more surprises, but good ones, in the future.
My D, had a heart attack this past Saturday. After a stent into one of the arteries to her heart she was fine, was home Monday, eating lettuce, and walked 1 km on Tuesday---- I just see these things on her Facebook (which I think might be meant for me). This one followed her acceptance as a candidate for hip replacement. I trust these are eye-openers for her to lose weight!
I am living, but not jumpy-joy happy, yet still have that dumb belief that what I need-want is just around the corner.. However, I forget that I have been given (g-ven ¿ ..suffered for or am I to say earned-¿))part of what I need---- a good settlement. Now I can pay for what I need, and do so, to the people I deem to be good workers and worthy of being trusted and paid.
Currently, typing is not a problem re muscle use.
As I was wont to do, I always had a book to read to sleepify me. When I took myself to Emergency on June 8, the IV was set up but the guy hit a nerve_bone, the vein bled, and it was painful all night. By morning an obstinate nurse woundn,t help me (I,m afraid that my disability is not passed on to the next shift and they all think I can walk,) so the tubing from IV on my right settled under me when I lifted my butt to transfer to the commode. If I had sat on it I would have pulled the needle--in the wrong direction--- but more bleeding took place anyway, while she just stood there. I am not a screamer, a crier, and worked it out myself, while receiving from her only a piece of cotton and tape to stop the bleeding.
: I don't know what to do:
As a few days progressed, my thumb and next 2 finger consistently went numb (I have yet to find the position that causes this) but in the meantime the damaged vein leads right to those digits and rather than pain, they go numb to an extent I cannot stand it, which cuts out my reading in bed, which cuts out my desire to go to bed, but I have to as I can sit only about 2 hours, before needing a lie down.
I cannot believe this is my life. It is like my being about age 45 taking care of a 75-80 year old body.
Guess I got carried away, but that is it---for another 6 months.
Love and Luck to All
Izzy
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥