Not sure what to put for a title!

[Hopalong]

I want to try and create a network of people I enjoy spending time with and try to spend roughly equal amounts of time with each, so that I don't fall into that 'you are the only person in my world' thing again.  Not healthy!

BravO, Tupp.

What a huge, hopeful insight.

Thank you for sharing this!

xo
Hops

[gratitude28]

I agree with Hops! You are being smart and really thinking about what will make your life good and happy. ((((((((TAP)))))))

[BonesMS]

Bones, you are an A* hugger, I think you should get a certificate or something   Thank you

Lighter and Gratitude, thank you for your support and words of encouragement, it is greatly appreciated.

There has been some communication between my sister and myself, it isn't perfect but it's a step in the right direction so I am glad that I have said what I did and that it seems to be moving in a more positive way than I thought it was   I also went to the medical assessment with my son today which was horrible but the other mum came along with me and she was very supportive so I appreciated that a lot and am glad she was there.  A couple of things I've noticed as I've thought about all of this over the last couple of weeks are that:

1  I rarely, if ever, admit to any kind of negativitity in my life - being tired, worried, scared, not coping etc - because in my family any weakness was used against you and I was generally expected to cope without complain regardless of how difficult anything was.  It was very much a Stepford Wife approach - smile, look shiny, keep the house tidy and nothing else matters (or is allowed).  So another new thing to practise; understanding not everyone is like that and some people accept problems as part of life and will help you with them instead of using them to batter you more!

2  I've tended to develop very intense friendships with one person in the past and then rely on them for everything - a replacement mother, presumably.  Invariably those relationships dissolve eventually and I'm left very alone until I make a new 'best friend' and then I do the same thing again.  Now that I've realised I do that I want to try and create a network of people I enjoy spending time with and try to spend roughly equal amounts of time with each, so that I don't fall into that 'you are the only person in my world' thing again.  Not healthy!  So yes, feeling better and I think moving in the right direction.  Sometimes I think perhaps just putting it out there helps, you know, just making a decision to change even if you're not entirely sure how to?

Thank you all for your help and support, it really means a lot to me.  Tupp xx

You're welcome, ((((((Tupp)))) and thanks!  Sometimes I can't find the right words that are adequate enough so I'm hoping that a hug will do.

Bones

[Twoapenny]

Bonesie, sometimes I think a hug says more than words can, you know?  It's appreciated (((((((((((((((((Bonesie))))))))))))))))))))))

Thank you everyone for all of your help with this.  I just wanted to feed back a little because it's been a few weeks and I'm suprised at how easy it's getting!  The guilt's gone, I've said no to a couple of parties I was invited to that I didn't really want to attend, I've turned down a Christmas invite because I just want a few quiet days at home after Christmas to put my feet up and eat chocolate!  I've spent time with a couple of people I know and like but don't really spend time with, trying to work on building new friendships and at the very least enjoy my time with people more instead of having to endure it.  Why do we put ourselves through these things?!  Thanks again

[BonesMS]

Bonesie, sometimes I think a hug says more than words can, you know?  It's appreciated (((((((((((((((((Bonesie))))))))))))))))))))))

Thank you everyone for all of your help with this.  I just wanted to feed back a little because it's been a few weeks and I'm suprised at how easy it's getting!  The guilt's gone, I've said no to a couple of parties I was invited to that I didn't really want to attend, I've turned down a Christmas invite because I just want a few quiet days at home after Christmas to put my feet up and eat chocolate!  I've spent time with a couple of people I know and like but don't really spend time with, trying to work on building new friendships and at the very least enjoy my time with people more instead of having to endure it.  Why do we put ourselves through these things?!  Thanks again

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Bones

[Twoapenny]

Thanks, Bonesie

My sister just turned up, talked about herself for ten minutes and left again (after leaving the front door open so the house got cold).  Some things never change

[BonesMS]

Thanks, Bonesie

My sister just turned up, talked about herself for ten minutes and left again (after leaving the front door open so the house got cold).  Some things never change

((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))

You are so right!  Some thing never change! 

*shakes head while watch sister waltz out the door without bothering to close it behind her.*

[Hopalong]

I love this question, Tupp...I think it's actually the answer to a lot of tough times.

Why do we put ourselves through these things?!

Thanks for this,

Hops

[lighter]

Tupp:

How do you feel abou it now?

Lighter