Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Bullying
Ales2:
Hi - one more thing to add to Step 1. If possible, discreetly collect any outside contacts, vendors and clients and get behind the 8Ball and suggest something like "hey, we've known each other for two years, lets get together sometime for lunch or coffee and discuss business in depth". This way, if you are abruptly fired, they might suspect you left on your own and it gives you a headstart on networking.
I was always active in my professional organization, so employers never thought I was "networking" and it enabled me to have other contacts to vouch for me when I had a bad boss. I also held leadership positions there, and earned some recommendations independent of my paid work. This might be something else to consider.
Good luck!
sunblue:
Thank you so much for your responses Ales, Tears, Hops and Mud. You have no idea how grateful I am for your help and support. I wish I could reach into this screen and give you all a huge hug of thanks! If I were really honest, I would say that I am falling apart over this. I cry in public places and each day I face a new humiliation and betrayal. Today was no exception.
Even though I think it might seal my fate, I have decided to talk to my CEO tomorrow. It will be futile as he is allowing my boss to do what she is doing but nevertheless I think he should face me about it. Essentially he let her steal my entire job and all without a single conversation with me.
Ales, you made some great suggestions and I've done most of them already. I've saved my performance evaluations (all excellent). I've saved my emails and documents to a USB drive. I have saved copies of all my own work (I work in a very public, consumer facing position so much of this is accessible via the search engines or my own site). I'm starting to document the incidents with my boss....but unfortunately I think it will be futile as well. The "witnesses" to the events would never be truthful. The HR Director is best friends with my boss and a long term employee so she will not help. All my so-called friends and co-workers betrayed me and turned away when they saw what was happening. I haven't done the doctor check up thing and I don't have a therapist right now. Of course, my N family could care less so there's no outlet there.
I've called an attorney but they said it would be very hard to prove constructive dismissal at this point The hostile environment is certainly true but it is also very subjective. The attorneys said I could try to fight it if I file for unemployment but it would be up to the individual case worker.
I can't involve the HR Director. She has already proven that she is completely unethical and can't be trusted. (Earlier in the year, she already tried to get me to trump up a false case against an employee to fire him. She also violated company policy and communicated confidential conversations with members of my staff to my boss rather than to me.)
The tough thing is they won't fire me. They don't want me to leave yet because there is a super major project which I've led and they need me to execute it. But that project is not my job. Those tasks that are my job have been stolen from me. My boss took them or delegated them to others just so I don't have a real voice in them.
I know I shouldn't quit before getting another job....but I really don't know how much of this humiliation I can take. It's so demeaning and also she is making it very clear to the company that she owns everything. What's worse is they couldn't fire me for cause. Not only have I received positive evaluations but I was promoted when my boss took over and I've received bonuses. She simply stole my job.
Hops, thanks for your advice as well. I know part of this is that my career has been my whole life. It's all I have...and I've performed so well, the injustice of it is just eating at me....just like the injustice caused by my N family. Plus it's so hard when you've been ostracized by people I've been friends with for years. I don't have a single person to speak to about it there.
I'm trying to think in terms of what you said and take the emotion out of it when I talk to this CEO. It will be very hard. They're all just pretending nothing happened. For 2 years, he promised me a new job and kept promising it to me every few months. Now, my boss stole that job and they never even discussed it with me.
I'm scheduled to be on vacation for the next 2 weeks so I thought I'd try to talk to CEO tomorrow and do my best not to make a decision or tell the CEO what I'm going to do until I return. That way I could at least get one more month of insurance coverage....but frankly, I'm not sure I can hang in there for 2 weeks. As it is I haven't slept more than an hour for a week.
So sorry for venting like this. I did want to reiterate just how very much I apprecated your taking the time to respond to me. Literally, the last couple of days it was all that kept me going. I feel myself slipping again.....So thank you, thank you, thank you.
Ales2:
Hi Sun - Its OK to vent - thats part of what is great here.
I can hear the defeat, despair and feeling of hopelessness in your words. So sorry this is happening.
If you are feeling humiliation and despair, its time to go, job or no job. My point was just to get try to get into a better position at your current place, I was not suggesting you stay when you are literally a frog in boiling water.
I might add that those people are not your friends. Seven years ago, I had a situation where someone I helped get her project done, turned against me by the insistence of the charwoman. FASt forward and now those two "friends" are pitted against one another and one outed the ohter from her position after 9 years. Karma is a bitch....sad to say.
Please hang in there and just do the best you can. You are capable and deserving of much more than this and if you can handle this with grace, something else wonderful will come your way.
((((((((((((Sun)))))))))))))))
debkor:
Don't quit. First thing is Report....A hostile work place has been created. Go to your supervisor, report, your CEO report, Give them the chance to correct it. They don't like to hear those words. And make sure you say...Hostile work place.
If your boss is threatened by you now she sure will be (threatened) with the action your about to take.
If it is not corrected and continues and you must leave before you find other employment ...It will be better when you apply for unemployment.
It means you were forced to leave .....
And I doubt with your (record and standing) in the company that they will even try to fight it and if they did.....They don't always win!!
But don't quit...But do report....To Stop It Now...
Then go from there..
Fire Up!!
Deb
mudpuppy:
I concur with debkor.
The worst that can happen is you'll end up out of work anyway, but at least you won't have to look back and regret you didn't make it as hard for them as possible.
And maybe, as debkor says, the CEO will pull his head out of his arse.
mud
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