This is very descriptive of my experience. My parents, however, looked good on the outside. My father did until his 50s and my mother did until the end.
Children of the Sociopathic Parent
Parents with antisocial personalities often do not make good parents. The parent is either controlling, or indifferent and uncaring. The parent is often neglectful and abusive, devoid of relating to the children on an emotional level, thus unable to give true support. In some cases they appear to exhibit a fierce love for their child,. If this is the case, it’s usually because the child is seen as an extension of themselves. The parent’s biggest concern is often how they appear in the community.
The child of the sociopath parent senses, on a deep level, that the parent does not love really him. As the child develops, he or she learns to watch the parent carefully, learning at an early age to mirror the moods and wants of the parent. It’s the child’s only means of survival. The child will smile, as if on cue, when the parent wants to look good, and respond to the parent’s demands and moods in order to avoid becoming the parent’s target. The child of the antisocial parent is often deceived, manipulated and used.
The child’s development, on an emotional and mental level, is of no concern to the anti-social parent – they expect that child to be exactly what they demand. In their minds, the child is property – a tool to be used, or neglected, according to the needs of the parent.
Mixed messages the parent sends to the child are usually confusing. What the parent says is one thing – what the parent demonstrates is another. For instance, a mother (believed to be a sociopath) was heard telling her son he shouldn’t care what other people think. Yet, everything she does is to impress others. She goes to great length to present herself as the perfect loving caring mother in her neighborhood. She is totally concerned as to what people think of her. In reality it’s all about control and power.
