This and That

[Twoapenny]

Tupp:

I drew a smiley face on my finger cone..... it's good.

The school lockdown is over a suspended student, not sure what grade, making threats to another or other students.  I have to admit I was relieved no ex boyfriends were involved.... there are 2 in my dd's group as of yesterday.  Both boys are the desperate type, but you don't want to think they're the threat making type, kwim?

DD15 will absolutely handle her day, and the boy to the best of her abilities.  She's very competent..... very stoic.  Can hold her position when everyone else is losing their heads.  Tends to make things better, not worse.

The dog just horfed up 2 piles of half digested food.  Must clean them and run an errand.

Thanks for chatting, Tupp.  It helps.

Lighter

Urgh, pet vomit, I was woken this morning by the sound of the cat barfing all over the carpet lol, I love having a pet but there are times when I think she should live outside

Glad situation at school is getting sorted and that smiley face finger cone is in place

Always happy to chat, I like to chat xx

[lighter]

Well... I'm in carpool early....time to ponder security on a very personal level at our particular school.  I don't want teachers carrying guns, BUT the idea my kid it kids are huddled in a closet waiting to be shot.  The only thing that would make me feel better is if an able person had a gun trained on the door should the shooter appear.

That's nonsensical, but there it is.  Feelings aren't right or wrong, they just are.  We can't put guns in school without creating more problems and possibly solving none.  Even law enforcement officers have a high miss rate at target practice.  When you're in crisis it gets much worse....some freeze....some might get the weapon taken, which happens to people trained to use guns. No one knows what they'll do till it happens. 

So, just found out the student making threats is in custody.  I feel very sorry for the certainly shell shocked parents.  Maybe they aren't surprised.  Will hope it's not a serious threat to do harm.  Some kids here hunt, have access to weapons, and that's how they were raised.  That's how I was raised.  I assume some teachers, under fire, would hand off guns to kids who played video games and or hunted regularly.  What a nightmare.  But if your kid was huddled in a closet.....

I spent an hour hiking up a mountain, bc the drive was chained, to check out a bankrupt company....my sibling bought a bulldozer, and I found it.  Huge thing....keys in it.  Thrilling to start it up on the first try.  I wish I'd brought water.

This was a strange day.

Lighter

[lighter]

The story on the threats....
10th grade boy suspended for running during a drug search at school re pot. 

He sent a message to two friends, both girls, telling them to stay home, he was going to shoot the school up....he included pictures of his bed with guns.

He's in big trouble.

[Hopalong]

I would NEVER wanna "be friends" with someone who forcefully held my hand (definition: against my wishes) for three hours. Make that for three minutes....



I hope she'll stop being drawn to him, see that signal for what it signifies. Boy's got boundary AND anger issues. Doggone it.

I hope all the tumult passes soon and that your finger soon heals, along with everything.

Hops

[lighter]

Hops:

DD was never drawn to this boy.  He's cute, and part of their group....she tried dating, bc she was curious.  Her gal pal tried dating at the same time....just to try it. 

In both cases the boys wanted to move fast.... I mean hold hands, walk the girls to every class, give pecks on the cheek, and hug.  DD's group is full of huggers anyway.....the contact was pretty normal.  The boys smothered the relationships.  I know you understand how being pushed feels.

The hand holding thing came after a little spat.  The boy was hugging DD too close, and often.... against her wishes up to that point at school.  DD didn't even text him on weekends....she wanted space, and that made him more desperate.  It was a bad recipe. 

Yesterday he approached DD once, started three sentences, but trailed off each time.  They sat away from each other, and didn't speak, but told no one they broke up.  The first person to notice is the boy DD's friend broke up with.

I hope they can all go back to being friends.  DD hugs everyone....boys hug each other in their group.... they're really nice kids....
even if there's some kicking rocks, and eating bologna samiches going on right now. 

I'm guessing the boy won't be able to learn anything from this.  I'm guessing this is what happened with the first two short term  relationships where the girls broke up.  Interesting no one gossips about them.  I assume this will go by quietly too.

My finger is healing well😀

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

Lighter, forgive my ignorance regarding guns in the States, but how does it all work?  Is there no checking or monitoring of who has guns or what they want them for?  I don't know much about them at all other than knowing that here there are certain checks and measures (which I think were increased after a school shooting here in the 90s) and that whoever has a gun has to have a licence, they need to be kept in locked cupboards and so on.  I hope that recent situation with the boy making the threat has been resolved now (and that the situation with former boyfriend goes okay for D).  I think the scary thing is that teenagers can be so impulsive and although they're nearly adults, they still don't have very good coping skills (in some cases).  It's just so scary, I hope everyone is okay now xx

[sKePTiKal]

Tupp, in actuality, guns are pretty heavily regulated. Even online or at gun shows - if you're buying a gun, you must fill out a form. That information is then sent to BATFE (Bureau of alchohol, tobacco, firearms & explosives). They cross-reference the personal information with their list of people who have been reported to them, that for one reason or another are NOT allowed to buy weapons. For instance, former felons and anyone with any domestic violence actions/reports against them.

Problems still happen - and people slip through the cracks - because each state has different criteria for reporting people who shouldn't be allowed to buy... and often, those reports aren't made in a timely fashion. This happened in the Texas church shooting. It was the AIR FORCE, of all things, that didn't get this guy's information turned in... so when the form was checked, the agency that says yes/no about whether this person can buy a gun... it said YES.

It's the old data entry problem: garbage in/garbage out.

That's only one glitch. People can and do lie on that form. The gun shop owner has only the person's ID to "verify" who they are. In North Carolina, there is another step in the process. The sheriff must issue a "purchase permit". To get the permit, you will need a notarized affadavit stating you are a person of "sound mind and high moral character". It's kind of an anachonism... and again, it's possible to cheat this too. But the local sheriff really WOULD know if there had been trouble with that individual, if there were any 911 calls related to them.

Now, to conceal carry a handgun... the background check is a LOT more stringent. There is a section where you must provide information if you've been under mental health care - and where, with whom and for what. Any previous legal problems. And all the other categories that can disqualify a person from owning a gun, by law. The sheriff then actually investigates each application and the applicant will be fingerprinted - and those prints will doublechecked against the gun ownership database. This makes it harder to lie. There is typically a waiting period that allows for the investigation to take place, before the permit is issued. It can be a short time, but typically it's 90 days. Longer in some states, and some states set the bar so high, that you must essentially claim and PROVE, that you have an immediate need for self-protection. These permits usually have to be renewed every 5 years.

In NC, there is a short-cut temporary "permit" for victims of domestic violence who are still being threatened actively. So those people can protect themselves, prior to being severely injured or killed even. It happens. Frequently enough, that these cases are seldom headline news anymore.

It gets more complicated than that - but this is the simple primer on what our laws are like. Yes, criminals can still buy a gun on the "black market" - from other criminals. Guns are stolen and then sold. (Mostly to get money for drugs.) And sales between private individuals still happen... but nowadays, the serial number is recorded and unless people are acquainted and friends... driver's license number included on 2 copies of receipts so that the transaction is documented.

So contrary to the internet memes, it's not all that easy to buy a gun in the US. There is a distinct process, that is designed to prevent disqualified people from buying, sellers have to be licensed - online or not; private individuals can only sell a small number before they are required to be licensed; and yet, bad people with evil intent have a lot fewer hoops to jump through. They just need to know somebody who knows somebody who sells guns outside the system. No, they're not nice people either.

[Twoapenny]

Tupp, in actuality, guns are pretty heavily regulated. Even online or at gun shows - if you're buying a gun, you must fill out a form. That information is then sent to BATFE (Bureau of alchohol, tobacco, firearms & explosives). They cross-reference the personal information with their list of people who have been reported to them, that for one reason or another are NOT allowed to buy weapons. For instance, former felons and anyone with any domestic violence actions/reports against them.

Problems still happen - and people slip through the cracks - because each state has different criteria for reporting people who shouldn't be allowed to buy... and often, those reports aren't made in a timely fashion. This happened in the Texas church shooting. It was the AIR FORCE, of all things, that didn't get this guy's information turned in... so when the form was checked, the agency that says yes/no about whether this person can buy a gun... it said YES.

It's the old data entry problem: garbage in/garbage out.

That's only one glitch. People can and do lie on that form. The gun shop owner has only the person's ID to "verify" who they are. In North Carolina, there is another step in the process. The sheriff must issue a "purchase permit". To get the permit, you will need a notarized affadavit stating you are a person of "sound mind and high moral character". It's kind of an anachonism... and again, it's possible to cheat this too. But the local sheriff really WOULD know if there had been trouble with that individual, if there were any 911 calls related to them.

Now, to conceal carry a handgun... the background check is a LOT more stringent. There is a section where you must provide information if you've been under mental health care - and where, with whom and for what. Any previous legal problems. And all the other categories that can disqualify a person from owning a gun, by law. The sheriff then actually investigates each application and the applicant will be fingerprinted - and those prints will doublechecked against the gun ownership database. This makes it harder to lie. There is typically a waiting period that allows for the investigation to take place, before the permit is issued. It can be a short time, but typically it's 90 days. Longer in some states, and some states set the bar so high, that you must essentially claim and PROVE, that you have an immediate need for self-protection. These permits usually have to be renewed every 5 years.

In NC, there is a short-cut temporary "permit" for victims of domestic violence who are still being threatened actively. So those people can protect themselves, prior to being severely injured or killed even. It happens. Frequently enough, that these cases are seldom headline news anymore.

It gets more complicated than that - but this is the simple primer on what our laws are like. Yes, criminals can still buy a gun on the "black market" - from other criminals. Guns are stolen and then sold. (Mostly to get money for drugs.) And sales between private individuals still happen... but nowadays, the serial number is recorded and unless people are acquainted and friends... driver's license number included on 2 copies of receipts so that the transaction is documented.

So contrary to the internet memes, it's not all that easy to buy a gun in the US. There is a distinct process, that is designed to prevent disqualified people from buying, sellers have to be licensed - online or not; private individuals can only sell a small number before they are required to be licensed; and yet, bad people with evil intent have a lot fewer hoops to jump through. They just need to know somebody who knows somebody who sells guns outside the system. No, they're not nice people either.

Wow, Skep, thanks for explaining all of that to me, it's a topic that is so alien to me it kind of makes my head explode!  You look at some problems and think, what's the answer?  It's all so scary

[sKePTiKal]

Yes, it is scary.

But I look at it this way. There have always been evil people doing bad things as long as there have been humans. I've been studying how the media (tv, radio, internet) subtly manages their coverage/angle of reporting for some years now. I've never ever seen this much trying to divide people, or demean them, or scare the bejeezus out of people. It's like a lot of things are magnified more than they should be and that when you look at all the facts, the context, and gain some perspective... well, things aren't as hateful or violent or chaotic as it seems, given the presentation.

I don't know if they think this will improve their ratings, keep them relevant, or if they really do have a purpose in frightening people and pushing their various ideas/agendas. But I do know how to turn it OFF. And at this point, I'm very very selective even about what I read online.

For me, it's exactly like we've said about Ns. The only way out of their game, to avoid being upset and emotionally/psychologically manipulated is to NOT PLAY. So I don't lend my eyeballs and data to their ratings. This isn't journalism anymore. I honestly don't know WHAT it is.

[Hopalong]

Hi Tupp,
My take is that many Americans' obsession with the 2nd amendment is irrational, fear driven, and completely out of whack with the founders' purpose in adding it: for a well-regulated militia. And that many Americans have been brainwashed by manipulative message plus the NRA, which is a terrorist organization in my view.

Think Westerns, cowboys, wars and every sort of macho. Bang bang, cowboy. Nobody NEEDS military-grade automatic weapons and the millions and millions of them littering our country are a symptom of a sick culture.

It's a perverted toxic-aggressive energy that's saturated our society for years (since our genocidal origin) and leads to a lot of stuff (football for kids despite CTE discovery, for example; various unnecessary wars, police brutality, misogyny and rape culture, on and on). I still love every bright and shining ideal I loved about my country as a child. But right now, our ugly adolescence is in painful focus across the planet. We're only 200 years old and are actually an adolescent country.

People from many other cultures come here and are truly shocked by the level of violence in American society. Unfortunately, due to our history and our lax educational systems, we've "normalized" a whole lot of stuff that saner cultures can still examine objectively.

Others' mileage may vary, but I am so so so proud of the Parkland teenagers who are erupting into action, after the adult culture and Congress has abandoned them over and over. For money. From the NRA.

love
Hops

[sKePTiKal]

Just one small clarification on Hops' perspective:

the AR-15 - those ugly black rifles - aren't "automatic, mil-spec, weapons". They are only semi-automatic, which means to fire a bullet, you must pull the trigger - each time.

An automatic weapon functions differently, in that it will fire multiple bullets pulling the trigger just once. These are not commonly available anywhere - and to purchase one requires an application to BATFE with an extra fee for a tax stamp. This purchase isn't possible without a background check by BATFE, sold through a licensed gun shop, and takes time. IE, someone who is permitted to purchase one, isn't going to be ABLE to purchase it without several days (at minimum) delay.

To date, no automatic weapons have been used in any of these mass shootings.

That's all; carry on.

[Hopalong]

"Semiautomatic" or "military-style" are correct terms for Cruz' weapon. Another good change would be a ban on large-capacity magazines, which are not needed for home defense. Overkill, ironically.

NYTimes today: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/04/health/parkland-shooting-victims-ar15.html?action=click&contentCollection=Magazine&module=Trending&version=Full&region=Marginalia&pgtype=article

At a high school in Parkland, Fla., 17 people were recently killed with just such a weapon — a semiautomatic AR-15. It was legal there for Nikolas Cruz, 19, the suspect in the shooting, to buy a civilian version of the military’s standard rifle, while he would have had to be 21 to buy a less powerful and accurate handgun.

Many factors determine the severity of a wound, including a bullet’s mass, velocity and composition, and where it strikes. The AR-15, like the M4 and M16 rifles issued to American soldiers, shoots lightweight, high-speed bullets that can cause grievous bone and soft tissue wounds, in part by turning sideways, or “yawing,” when they hit a person. Surgeons say the weapons produce the same sort of horrific injuries seen on battlefields.

Civilian owners of military-style weapons can also buy soft-nosed or hollow-point ammunition, often used for hunting, that lacks a full metal jacket and can expand and fragment on impact. Such bullets, which can cause wider wound channels, are proscribed in most military use.

-Note: PROscribed = forbidden, especially by law [opposite of PREscribed]. So even the military restrains these....

This culture is broken by violence and is consuming our young.

[lighter]

Oh dear....the beach cottage is such a mess.  We arrived, and the electrician began sourcing problems.  One leg of service at the meter was completely corroded....he called me over.... I looked.  He called contractor over....he looked then CRACK went the deck and we we're all climbing out of a hole. No one hurt, but Lordy such potential!  Then we noticed the water line broken by the deck, and the fact all the nails had rusted out....nothing else holding up the deck.

We're taking off all but one small deck to the guest cottage, and closing up the windows and doors on that side too.....all but 2, that is, so every room has a window.  The house had three entrances, now we planned 2.  The same with the guest cottage.....there were so many windows!  We're down to 15 windows, and 4 doors total.  Bathroom windows go away, and fans get installed.

I'm excited about big picture windows in the front room...no mullions mucking up the beautiful view. 

With that said....this is exhausting, and I forgot just how exhausting it can be.  I'm overwhelmed with the paperwork, and logistics..... I was nauseous last night....slept 10 hours, could have slept much longer.

This is a very difficult month coming up, Amazons.  I m not entirely sure how I'll get through it, but get through I will, and the cottage will be lovely again.

Lighter

[sKePTiKal]

Lighter - the mountain always looks bigger before you start to climb it. You'll get there!

[lighter]

So, the reason this renovation is so taxing is.... the universe has provided another opportunity for large great growth.  I'm working with the same person who did my home renovation.... he looks like my father, talks a lot like my father, holds similar beliefs as my father, and is a self proclaimed "freight train" that will run over people if they don't get out of his way. 

SO....

:sigh::..

Lots and lots of opportunity to work on coping strategies.  Nothing like it in the whole world, and this time I'll mindfully break old patterns, with all the intestinal force I can muster, under this kind of pressure.  The pressure is consistent, unrelenting, and super triggering, btw.

The happy part is he's a genius at what he does, and cares very much about others.... but likely HPD NPD.... conflict oriented attention seeking to my overtly stoic manner.... tends to escalate.... I have to find new ways to handle it.  He's uber competent, quick, and frugal.... like he's spending his own dollars.  I'm lucky to have his help.... I honestly couldn't do take this project on if he wasn't involved.  It's like working on two projects.... my internal world, and a difficult, bordering on impossible, renovation in a third world country where every little thing is 10X more expensive, time consuming, and sometimes simply not doable bc so much planning, and effort goes into the smallest project. 

I think we'll both feel like heroes if we pull this off.  I think maybe we'll be heroes. 

Intend to focus on health, and nutrition... everyone's.  I'll be painting both houses, inside and out, by myself. Helping lift beams, remove windows, and replace them.  Put up hurricane shutters.  The sheer amount of physical work is daunting, esp in that kind of heat and sun.  I figure I'll gain some strenght back, not break.

One thing about being in the sun, muscles are happy to stretch and work out.   I'm in the zone if I can get to the beach and begin.  No struggle to BE there.  It's just pulling away from the job, and allowing time for self care in all the chaos. 

I'm addressing gratitude, in all it's forms..... and tap, pat, flapping my hands and arms off.

The journey continues.

Lighter