I wonder if she could understand the "well, bless your heart" response, as wielded by so many Southern women with impeccable manners. Maybe as a "talisman" it's better if she DOESN'T get it, ya know?
Yeah, I think the more I fight/resist being triggered - the more I lose that battle. It's just one of those things that I'm going to have accept about me (the warts) - live through it - and then force my brain to pay attention to other things - it can ruminate all it wants subconsciously, but life is busy for me and I ain't got time to indulge. Accomplishing things seems to be the antidote, anyway.
My task, should I choose to accept it - and I think I shall - is to spend the winter relearning how to make bread again. When Mike's mom died, there was this instant panic between Mike & Chris about finding her yeast roll recipe (which didn't exist; not written down) and being able to duplicate the rolls. Hers were soft dinner rolls. I baked for weeks in the multiple ovens I had at the beach -- and consistently failed. Chris seemed to master it, though.
The recipe I tried for Sat's dinner was more like crusty, rustic artisan rolls. They came fresh out of the oven like hockey pucks from Bisquick. I know I used the wrong yeast - but thought I could compensate and consulted with my friend in culinary school. The yeast was the first mistake. The rising just never seemed to happen until I recalled the new oven has a proof cycle. It never seemed warm enough to me - but by then I was firmly in "what do I know?" uncertainty. THEN, for some illogical reason, it said to refrigerate the dough for a couple hours or overnight. Maybe let it rest at room temp, I could see... but cold kills yeast action... so whatever King Arthur Flour knows about this process, they didn't share.
I'll drag out the recipe I used to use when I was working. It's a rustic white bread (2 loaves) that rises 3 consecutive days - and I used to leave the dough in the utility at the other homestead. That was the furthest away from the woodstove I could get. Super easy; it used to be super yummy and lots of air pockets.
Thank you Pepperidge Farm - I have a dozen rolls in the freezer that I like, as a back up.
I've always associated Alice's Restaurant & Thanksgiving with some flamboyantly failed cooking adventure, anyway. There have been many over the years - and I long ago decided it wasn't worth being upset about. Most of them were hilarious, in any case.
Between the cooking adventures and learning how to make a proper fire in the new woodstoves, I feel like I never get a chance to sit down. LOL. It really helps slow down the gas furnace's use of propane to keep a fire from afternoon till bedtime downstairs. I keep the garage/studio minimally heated as well - and when the temps dip, have to fill that fire box too. Found a new type wood splitter for kindling, that holds/splits the quartered log - with the use of a sledgehammer, instead of hatchet. I probably have close to a dozen hatchets in Mike's mess, but could only lay hands on 2. One was too nice to use and the other, standard, ordinary and very good quality one - needs a lot of work to restore the cutting edge/face of it.
I learned a lot about using a file making etching plates. LOL.
