Author Topic: End of the Road Farm  (Read 27400 times)

Hopalong

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13616
Re: End of the Road Farm
« Reply #285 on: November 01, 2018, 12:30:24 PM »
Good approach!
I literally try to NOT think about them.
It's nearly impossible but that is my preference.

I've come a long way to accepting my D's absence
but with two major familyfamilyfamilyfamily celebrations
for the entire culture coming on way before they actually
occur, it feels to me like for folks like myself, the world around
us is hijacked with painful reminders in every media, in every
place, on every airwave, in every setting. So it takes a lot of
inner peace (not constantly handy) and resolve and intense
concentration and huge diversion planning and will power to
protect my heart.

It's exhausting. And regular as rain.

But I'll be okay. Probably will not have anything to say about it,
just gonna get through. Two long months.

love
Hops
PS--And I promise to hereby take my Grinchy, Scroogey crankiness
off to a separate thread whenever I feel the need to mutter humbug and pee in
peoples' eggnog. I DO HOPE that everyone I know has joy and peace
and verrrry happy holiday times! Sorry for the hijack, ((((Amber)))).
xo--Bad Santa
« Last Edit: November 01, 2018, 02:26:01 PM by Hopalong »
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

sKePTiKal

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5441
Re: End of the Road Farm
« Reply #286 on: November 02, 2018, 07:28:12 AM »
Oh Hops... you know I literally don't mind a BIT, if you bring your feelings and joyful inner self to this crazy journal of babbling experiences thread. In fact, if you didn't - I'd worry bout ya! (and maybe wonder if I'd gone around the bend myself).

I have my own past holiday disasters that inspired this way of dealing of them. There is just something so EMPTY in the Hallmark card version - it's so UNreal - that it seems some malevolent fairy tale used to make people impossibly "less than" because the "family" around them won't play their parts in the story correctly. I'm not sure my method of dealing with that is all that healthy; but it seems to have reduced the power over me, that it used to have.

It is the past. Holly has been periodically nailing my butt to the floor about why I still let the past inform how I feel now, why I still refer to the past as explanation of now, about some things. And why I haven't just LET IT GO yet. Mostly to do, with Twiggy... and that whole saga, and inner child work. Which raises a separate thread's worth of questions for me. And they're not easy questions - they span quite a few levels of experience and reality... and identity. So I've been chewing on that for a bit.

I "saw" a flash of something different while she tried to persuade me - with her unrelenting logic - but I wasn't able to get it to hold still long enough to really examine it. So I "intuit" that maybe she's right; but not completely - she's getting something wrong, too. Or else, I'm way more wrong than I know.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

Hopalong

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13616
Re: End of the Road Farm
« Reply #287 on: November 02, 2018, 02:39:54 PM »
I think it's pretty amazing how much deep "work" you do with your own daughter.
And even more that you both seem to seek it out and believe it benefits your growth.

You always seem to feel positive and productive about the intense dialogues you
have with Hols.

Admiration!

xo
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

sKePTiKal

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5441
Re: End of the Road Farm
« Reply #288 on: November 03, 2018, 11:15:47 AM »
I think it's kind of the silver lining in dysfunctional families, Hops. We survived years & years of crap  together and kept each other as sane as possible.

Pushing on with projects around here - winter related projects! The wind is blowing fiercely, and while the temp isn't that cold... the wind makes it truly unpleasant to be outside. So I'm doing what I can to make sure the wind doesn't get INSIDE, as well.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

Hopalong

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13616
Re: End of the Road Farm
« Reply #289 on: November 03, 2018, 12:39:34 PM »
Is your house up on a ridge, halfway up a mountainside?
What's the terrain like?

Is the wind exposure because of house positioning in landscape, a clearing, or just the general nature of being on a mountainside where everybody's hit by full wind force?

Glad you're draft stopping. Can't insulate the whole place but hope you find many supplemental ways to tighten it up.

xxoo
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

sKePTiKal

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5441
Re: End of the Road Farm
« Reply #290 on: November 05, 2018, 09:26:47 AM »
Actually, I am insulating the ceiling in the garage - which is my kitchen/dining room floor. Being a vacation home, it wasn't a priority for any of the previous owners and the house is perched on the edge of a cliff with big boulders... looking over the hollow and up the next ridge, of my "back 40".

The wind comes from the south a good bit - from down the hollow - and the garage doors face that direction. One door is going to be sealed up completely; I'm turning half the garage into emergency pantry. Farmer's Almanac is saying this is the year we'll see those heavier snows we all remember. And while I have a plow blade for the ranger and the bucket on the bobcat... if I am not needing to get anywhere... I won't exactly be plowing except to get the power meter readers/gas delivery done.

Replacing doors/windows the first summer, was practically a premonition. As wet as the weather has been this year - they simply wouldn't have been able to do the work. It's helped a lot with bug invasions, too. Very few stink bugs this season; now to figure out how wasps/ladybugs are getting in!

There has been a draft right where the couch is, when the wind is fierce - and I've caulked logs inside & out. I insulated below that corner, too. At this point, the only thing I haven't investigated is where the roof meets the walls. My roof is about 20 years, so I'm going to be addressing that in the near future anyway... and with woodstoves/gas furnace & stove... it's probably healthier to not make the house perfectly "draft free". And besides, I have plenty of down throws for the couch, when we're "potatoing"!
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

lighter

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8631
Re: End of the Road Farm
« Reply #291 on: November 06, 2018, 06:08:29 PM »
Amber:

Let me know how your wasps are getting in.  I have them in my house too.  Oldest dd took a sting on the pinky, and her entire hand swelled up.  Emergency clinic, antibiotics, and other meds.... that was in the LR.  Youngest took a sting around her eye, then wiped at it, and got another one on the hand.... all this while she was sleeping in her bed.   I did a balance right away, and there was zero swelling, thank goodness. 

I can't see any place they're getting in, and sometimes they're in the kitchen, sometimes in the loft, sometimes in the upper bathroom, and now it's in bedrooms. 

Lighter


Hopalong

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13616
Re: End of the Road Farm
« Reply #292 on: November 06, 2018, 10:44:04 PM »
Yikes.
That is VERY unpleasant!
I feel for your stingy D.

I hope you can get an exterminator soon
to clear them out. Some of the nests....shudder.

Good luck on this and may they be gone soon!

Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8631
Re: End of the Road Farm
« Reply #293 on: November 09, 2018, 09:13:07 AM »
Golly... the idea of a nest inside the house.... is really troublesome.   I was thinking they were getting INTO the house, Hops.

sKePTiKal

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5441
Re: End of the Road Farm
« Reply #294 on: November 11, 2018, 07:31:36 AM »
In the fall, there are a series of bug "invasions" - as they look for warm places to try to survive the winter. Not many stinkbugs this year. Not as MANY ladybugs. And a handful of wasps. When they sealed the outside logs, the nests were all removed. But a bug is persistent. I found a large hornet's nest next under the deck too. It's cold enough now, to spray it and knock it - and all the other beginning wasp nests I can reach - down. But the trick that will defeat them is going to be caulking on the inside upstairs. If there are no air gaps - they can't get in, unless they come in on us or the dog.

I've been dogsitting Knuckles, while Holly finishes up this movie. She should be home by the end of the week. Then she's back for the winter... trying to decide what's "next". All my baseline med tests came back fine - except of course, cholesterol. So I did some digging, having read something recently that turned "conventional wisdom" on it's head. I wanted to make sure I knew what I thought I knew - before I decided to fight for "my way" of dealing with it instead of the usual statin Rx. Seems that after 60, taking statins actually INCREASES the risk of heart disease. This conclusion was based on assessing the results of many, many studies over many years in Great Britain. The re-evaluation also suggests that a higher level of cholesterol in older people, than the "accepted range" actually protects cardiac health somewhat. Either that - or for some people, a higher level is NORMAL for THEM.

He wants me to do bloodwork again in 3 months. In February. LOL. When we're most likely to have 3 ft of snow. But then - all I am, is a case file of data to him. They have already added Lipitor into my file - althought I've never been prescribed it. Had to explain to the LPN, that it was suggested ONLY and I am not taking it. So, because of the rote, one size fits all "system" and fix it with Rx mentality... this exercise in making sure there's nothing "happening" in my body that I'm unaware of (for Holly's peace of mind, too)... has now made me subject to the "accepted medical wisdom" and the "system" that feels it is entitled to TELL ME WHAT DECISIONS ARE RIGHT FOR ME, based on a "one size fits all", very strict and small range of data.

Boy did they pick the wrong person. I did not remove his head in the office visit - but I did rattle off all the things I've been doing (including not remembering the blood test was supposed to be fasting)... that I'm aware of will help keep me as healthy as I am. It was something I discussed with him in the very first visit too - but of course THAT'S not IN my file, so he doesn't remember. Then, I got into the online test results.

Validation really feels good. My cholesterol number that bothered him (it was just triclycerides) wasn't that high. It very well could've been the chicken soup I had 2 hrs before they drew blood, creating that situation. Most of America is OVERmedicated. Throws a person's metabolism, energy flow, and chemistry completely out of whack - needlessly. And then the body becomes dependent on those medications... and entropy takes over. NO THANK YOU.

I think the thing that irritates me the MOST, though... is that the reliance on blind data (with no other factors considerd) and the basic ASSUMPTION that they then have the right to tell a person what they WILL DO -- as if we were all children, and it was for our own good; and that we have no choice or autonomy in the matter. My response is and will remain a giant FU to that mentality. I didn't decide to go through this... because I didn't feel well. I did it to prove to Holly, I know my body - and while my methods don't provide immediate results - the slow and gradual way is healthier and longer-lasting... than getting artificially "fixed" and facing a lifetime of poisons needlessly.

You know how I'll fight to be believed. LOL. No, I'm not as fit or strong as I was at 40. But I'm in damned good shape for 62 and the fact I'm taking no medications whatsoever, is still one of the big shockers to the people looking at my chart. Yes, I'm becoming more active all the time. Yes, I'm learning more about nutrition and how that fits into the balance of health. Yes, I have vices to control.

I'm a human being and I ain't putting those chemical poisons in me, when there are other ways to get the same results. I GET TO DECIDE THAT. Not THEM. I didn't GO THERE... for HELP. I went for the tests to prove I knew what the hell I was talking about.

Heh... heh... I don't "have to" go back, either. They can't make me. So there.
« Last Edit: November 11, 2018, 07:36:43 AM by sKePTiKal »
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

lighter

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8631
Re: End of the Road Farm
« Reply #295 on: November 14, 2018, 10:43:50 AM »
I'm glad you feel good about your experienc with the doctor, Amber.  It's a shame Western docs aren't trained to listen to their patients, ime.

I don't have any lady bugs this year.  Only a few stink bugs.  It's those darned wasps....still not sure where they're coming from.

Lighter

Hopalong

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13616
Re: End of the Road Farm
« Reply #296 on: November 14, 2018, 10:10:50 PM »
((((Amber)))).
You sounded so incredibly triggered and defensive about these medical behaviors/attitudes, and it made me worry that this all is really fear. More fear about (maybe The Vice?) than about their inadequacies.

I agree with you wholeheartedly about the frustrations of dealing with short-sightedness and shortcuts in medicine.

But...I am worrying about you, hon.

love to you,
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

sKePTiKal

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5441
Re: End of the Road Farm
« Reply #297 on: November 16, 2018, 08:22:10 AM »
Hops, thanks - but I really AM fine. Control over my own body, is simply something that I am NOT delegating to anyone, because of what happened to me in the past. I completely resent the "doctor knows best" attitudes. Worse: the idea that any patient who shows up for wellness checks MUST be found to have a "problem" that requires a Rx... is always the first reaction. If I permit it, they'll keep looking... running up the insurance costs (for everyone)... until the "aha!" moment.

Maybe it's old-fashioned, but I don't tend to seek medical assistance unless I'm incapacitated, need an antibiotic (like for a sinus infection or the like), bleeding, or in great pain. MOST minor ailments - cold, flu, sore muscles - can and probably should be treated at home.

There was no acknowledgement whatsover of the first office visit's conversation, that I was simply getting a baseline set of tests... to assure everyone that nothing major was beginning, that could be caught before it was past treatment. (Which wasn't MY fear; it was Holly's.) They definitely WANT to recruit people into their "system"... because it makes money. Corporate medicine is an oxymoron and borders on being evil, as far as I'm concerned. Especially, when I have no chronic problems that need to be "managed".

As far as my vices, there's always a trade-off between things that keep me sane - and letting them get out of control. Which doesn't happen with me; I have too much work to do and too many obligations.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

Hopalong

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13616
Re: End of the Road Farm
« Reply #298 on: November 16, 2018, 11:36:28 PM »
So you went for a sensible screening visit and it got parlayed into more, along with not being listened to. And, the issue of nobody else claiming your body autonomy.

I understand a lot better now why it was so triggering. Thanks, hon, sorry to dredge deeper.

Good on you. You are your own best advocate and ain't nobody going to take that away. Period.

Hugs and cheers,
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

sKePTiKal

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5441
Re: End of the Road Farm
« Reply #299 on: November 17, 2018, 08:56:43 AM »
Hops, my stream of consiousness ranting really wasn't all that clear... so I can see why you came to that conclusion. Insult to injury: I also picked up a disgusting, annoying cold bug.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.