Hmmm. Online chatting, obviously, can be quite deceptive - behind the screen could be the antithesis of what the person is claiming. It's a real thing. It happens even in face to face interactions. I'd say do what you're comfortable with, because if the random Mr. Possible can't even accommodate that wish, then you're sorting out the "nopes" faster.
B & I were different; the exception to that? I dunno. Hol still has reservations about this - but I point out her track record with the face to face "getting to know you" and various "deceptions" that were usually rooted in the partner not really being honest with themselves about who/what they were. Or her attempts to make something work despite the obstacles.
I think it was different, because both B & I are the "what you see is what you get" types. No hidden agendas. And neither of us started out TRYING to establish a relationship. The years of chatting online gave the "essential data" about our lives & who we were (or thought we were). The occasional phone call, allowed for more intuitive "knowing" who the other is; not completely - but definitely more spontaneously real. The friend zone was a much easier starting point for both of us. Meeting him the first time - was a bit of a shock; the "inner B" is just as canny & forceful & strong as he ever was... and physically, the years of physical impact on him looked as if they'd broken him.
Then, after the all night road trip (he didn't drive)... he started to unload tools and get to work. Now, I'm an overly visually-oriented person - and on that wavelength, I can sense a lot of OTHER types of things too. He opted to be totally in his element as he took in my place, me, Hol & S, etc. Neither he or I open up much to new people, until we have some sense of who they are. I might be a little more open about data about myself - which even Hol says, I need to restrain. LOL. But because we took our time with the "talking about ourselves" and inquiring about each other part of it - activities are a good thing for us - that well-protected, and consciously hidden switch - clicked all on it's own.
If I'd met him first, I might only have seen the toll of combat & medical "treatment" - and not bothered to dive any deeper. I wasn't looking to be a caregiver again; or put myself in a position to ease someone else to the other "side". Not what I wanted at ALL. Through the online environment, I saw how he raised his D; how he treated other women on the forum; how he interacted with other people who weren't entirely "functional" as human beings. But then, discussion forums are more like the local pub where people talk, get to know each other in a group (usually moderated) setting. And that's helpful for seeing "who the person is" -- when they're not directly engaging with oneself. The "tells" show up better sometimes this way. I think, anyway.
If the dating site, has a group discussion... it might be better to use that instead of initiating one to one communications in depth immediately. As another option, if meeting face to face is difficult. But then, I'm an avowed people watcher; observer. Especially online. I usually read quite a bit of a certain person's talking & thought process before I engage in any of their threads. On any topic!
