Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
The island
lighter:
I bumped in front of Frenchmen today if that helps you understand how I'm carrying on in his space lately. Super blunt. Always leaving. Always busy. My mood is set to SHUT DOWN whatever bugs me and it feels marvelous!
Not being trapped with F on 33 foot boat is very helpful. He was tending to me....I had no work to do.....it got weird.
I'm feeling much better now☺
I attached a milk crate to the pretty sky blue girl bike then went to hardware store and grocers. It's leftover Wahoo fish tacos tonight. Ended up behind a funeral celebration....think New Orleans with a band and parade. Made the hardware store with 2 minutes to spare. All in all a good day. Getting tons done.
I'm listening to you, Amazon's.
Lighter
sKePTiKal:
LOL... oh CB, DO TELL...
I'd love to know what you're thinking.
Hopalong:
I hope it's helpful. The more confident I sound, the more likely I've missed loads of context. But fwiw, sometimes I benefit from reviewing weird situations and asking myself whether I spoke. Did I Speak My Wants/Needs? I'll often find, looking back, that I was counting on mind-reading, guessing, body language, and vibes. As though I had no voice. No boundaries.
Just as an exercise, I looked again at your post for hints of physical and verbal. Just a hunch but I'm thinking you enact things physically a lot, rather than speaking them aloud straightforwardly. Assertiveness (esp. with pushy men) specifically includes repetition--not loudness, aggression or fear. It can just help to use the same exact words over again, repeating as needed: "I don't want company right now. I don't want company right now. I don't want company right now." If the tone is calm but patient, it can get through without arousing hostility, most times. MOST men back off after one clear repetition as the message comes through. If a male is someone you wouldn't dare to assert yourself with verbally and truthfully, without fear, this is a male not to have in your life.
--- Quote ---I bumped in front of Frenchmen
--- End quote ---
Physical.
--- Quote ---Super blunt.
--- End quote ---
Verbal.
--- Quote ---Always leaving. Always busy.
--- End quote ---
Physical.
--- Quote ---He was tending to me....I had no work to do.....
--- End quote ---
Physical, passive, unclear. Might need: "I'll fetch what I need."
--- Quote ---It got weird.
--- End quote ---
Nonverbal, missing boundary? Might need: "I want to relax alone, merci."
Anyway, this probably makes you feel like a bug under a microscope. I ain't no scientist, but if I were, I'd be a benevolent one!
Happy days,
Hops
lighter:
Lots to think about there, Hops, Amber, CB and Tupp.
I'm percolating: )
Lighter
Twoapenny:
Glad you're back, Lighter, and I hope the percolating is productive :) xx
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