Achievements

[Twoapenny]

I have struggled today with not berating myself for not flowing smoothly through life and not being affected by its challenges and difficult moments.  So I thought I would start a thread to focus on things that we do do, rather than the things we don't, without any 'could have done better' or 'should have tried harder' kind of self talk - and of course, you are all welcome to list your own achievements as well

Today, I -

Fed myself and my son several healthy meals and snacks

Did a grocery shop

Updated my debt repayment plan

Took a long rest this afternoon so's not to overtire myself

Texted several friends

Largely stayed off social media and other internet drains

Tidied the kitchen and sitting room

Organised my recycling and put it out for collection

Did some washing and put yesterday's washing away

Scribbled some notes about how I feel

Planned some emotional difficulties I have noticed to talk through with the acupuncturist next week

Offered to babysit for a friend who is visiting next week

Captured a spider and put it in the garden

Fed the cat

Posted my nephew's birthday card and wrapped another friend's present ready to send

Decided that tomorrow I will officially start on paperwork again, working no more than two hours a day, Monday to Friday, and that I will send things off last thing on a Friday each week so that I don't get any kind of response or feedback for at least two days and have my weekends clear of local authority related stress.

Made an effort with a bit of make up and a nice top.

Helped son with his blog

Re-organised a drawer that is one of those drawers that ends up full of cables and stuff that doesn't really have a home.

Printed off tickets for the ghost walk we are going on tonight.

I am quite amazed that writing that down has changed my mind set from "I've done nothing all day" to, "Look how much I've done".  Feel free to add your own list of achievements xx xx xx

[Hopalong]

Holy bejesus.
It's mid-afternoon and I have:

eaten a healthy breakfast (a protein-fruit smoothie)
spent hours on the internet obsessing about politics
drunk tea
gotten dressed

You are insanely functional, Tupp.

hugs
Hops

[Twoapenny]

Holy bejesus.
It's mid-afternoon and I have:

eaten a healthy breakfast (a protein-fruit smoothie)
spent hours on the internet obsessing about politics
drunk tea
gotten dressed

You are insanely functional, Tupp.

hugs
Hops

Hops, you're so funny, Holy Bejesus made me laugh out loud   I think reading about politics counts as many achievements so you should give yourself a big pat on the back for that.  One of the comedians over here calls anything to do with politics 'world stuff' and it always makes me laugh   Smoothie sounds nice as well

We went for the ghost walk last night and it was great, and by some spooky coincidence the walk ended exactly where we'd parked our car!  Couldn't have picked a better spot

Got up this morning and did not switch on the telly!  Made tea, tidied up a little and then came on here to catch up with my lovely trans Atlantic friends xx

[sKePTiKal]

I second Hops' comment!!

Yesterday, I went to town to pick up my glasses, stopped at Home Depot for 6 bags of water softener salt (which I had them load, since I was in a dress and is still in the car), and stopped a local fruit stand for a half dozen local peaches to try. New variety. Then I made dinner and the rest of the time obsessed online about politics, too... made some pithy cynical comments (yay me & 6 million other people - LOL) and threatened to ruin Buck's reputation with total mothering if he didn't stop hurting himself... and NO...

He's not allowed to say he'll rub some dirt on it and it'll be OK or that it's just a flesh wound.

Today isn't going to be all that busy. LOL.

[Twoapenny]

I second Hops' comment!!

Yesterday, I went to town to pick up my glasses, stopped at Home Depot for 6 bags of water softener salt (which I had them load, since I was in a dress and is still in the car), and stopped a local fruit stand for a half dozen local peaches to try. New variety. Then I made dinner and the rest of the time obsessed online about politics, too... made some pithy cynical comments (yay me & 6 million other people - LOL) and threatened to ruin Buck's reputation with total mothering if he didn't stop hurting himself... and NO...

He's not allowed to say he'll rub some dirt on it and it'll be OK or that it's just a flesh wound.

Today isn't going to be all that busy. LOL.

Aw, I like the idea of you sitting in a dress getting things loaded into your car, Lady Skep - and rightly so!  I love peaches

Buck sounds like a tough cookie; I can see why the two of you get along

You and Hops are very good with all the politics stuff; I just can't bear to read it.  It makes me so scared and frightened that I just can't submerge myself in it.  I know what I believe in and I know which party meets those beliefs best for me - although at the moment here a lot of people vote tactically to get the Tories out (which isn't working yet).  So I read around the tactical voting stuff a bit when the time comes but other than that I try to avoid it because it's just too much.

Anyway - my achievements so far today are:

Healthy meals and snacks.

Bit of yoga.

Cancelled a meeting with a friend because I felt too tired (self care).

Took a nap instead of going to the meeting

Came on here

Re-arranged some other jobs to do on other days so's not to overwhelm myself.

Told myself that this coming year is going to be about rest and recuperation and moving on to better times in the future.

Will go out for more groceries in a bit.

[lighter]

Yesterday I got to the brain center by 8:30, and went home at 12:30.

Honored chicken bones from 4 roasted chickens... made stock, with plans to make soup.  Made chicken salad.  Asked neighbor about operating her pressure washer... it's not working for me.  Seems I need to turn on power, water, the squeeze the trigger to make it work.  I didn't expect it to sputter to life after a bit of time pulling trigger goes by.  I thought it would just work when I turned on the power.

Took youngest dd17 downtown with me for T appointment.  DD went walking, then I caught up after I was free.

The weather was overcast, cool and breezy so we walked around, and chose restaurants to have one or two dishes.  We chose a Thai restaurant, then an Indian restaurant.  Every bite was lovely.

Skipped the 9pm drag show we'd set out to attend.  Refused to feel like we failed.  Chatted all the way home.  I really enjoyed her company, and she thanked me for getting her out of the house.  She's been sleeping a lot since wisdom teeth came out. 

Got to bed early, and slept well.

I love the idea of this thread, Tupp.  THANKS!

Lighter

[lighter]

Got up at 5am.

Took DD18 to work at 6:45am... DD is doing all the driving with me in the car now.  She's doing great, and will take her driver's test in September, along with youngest dd17.

Went home and sweated kafir leaves, onion, garlic, ginger, red curry paste, and lemongrass for Tom Kha recipe, while cleaning out fridge, and doing those dishes.

strained chicken out of stock, and froze till garbage day.

blended carrots, and stock for carrot ginger soup, put in fridge.

Had a bath, went through morning ablutions.

Transferred spices to stock, then boiled in stock for half hour, before turning off, and leaving to brew.  We love this soup.   

Got to brain center on time, and had a really good day asking lots of questions.

Picked DD18 up from work at 1pm, then headed home to finish soup for early meal.  boiled shrimp, rice noodles, then browned chicken jalapeno sausage.  Picked fresh basil from planter on front porch.  We ate together, which doesn't happen generally.  Oldest dd18 was bubbly, and happy to be with us/me.  I got a hug: )

Decided not to go to father's lake house, bc of weather.   I have paperwork to do, and will see how I feel about it.   I need to transfer title of a vehicle, so need to be in that State during business hours.

I feel I've come a long way with all the breathing I've been doing.  I mindfully practice at the brain center, then spend time working on it afterwards, and notice I'm doing it without thinking, OR I notice when I'm not, and work on it.  When I started the protocol my oxygen level was 95%.  Now it's 98%.  I was appalled when the doc said smokers typically stay at 95%.  I'm not only a shallow breather, basically short breaths in and short out.  Taking 5 second breaths in, and 10 seconds breaths out really helps.  I notice I'm breathing differently, and that I'm aware of my breathing often. 

One of the things that helped with the oxygen levels were two chiro adjustments.  Since one of my legs was much shorter, he worked on that too.  Afterwards, my left hip said HELLO, a time or two.  He said when one leg is shorter, that side is usually favored, and carries less weight.  Shifting back to the same length, and 50/50 typically means we'll feel it on that weaker side. 

Thought a lot today about how different it feels to NOT live in fear and dread.  I can say that I noticed I'm in a great space, then determined I don't want to go back to living any other way.  I can't imagine doing that.  I tapped on 2 important things today, during the brain cold laser sessions. 

I noticed I sometimes have complete relief when I tap on problematic topics.  I noticed one thing I tapped hasn't been completely resolved, and I'm going to tap on it some more using different words, and focus. 

[Twoapenny]

Wow, Lighter, you have been busy!  Your food descriptions always make my mouth water, everything sounds so yummy!  And I love the idea of trying different dishes in a couple of restaurants.  Really good to skip the drag show if you just decided you didn't want to go rather than forcing yourself to sit through it and get home tired.  Love that DD gave you a hug

The Brain Centre sounds so interesting, is it a course of treatment you've booked up for or will it be a long term thing for you?  It sounds like it's really helping.  I'm glad.  I hope the breathing helps with the paperwork.

My big achievement for today is that I started on the paperwork!  My anxiety grew the close I got to doing it and as I sat down and started pulling files towards me definite PTSD type symptoms started - tight chest, difficulty breathing, sick feeling in stomach, a kind of prickly heat on my arms and back, sweating and my brain starts firing off in a million different places - imaginary arguments that might come up with people, old arguments that have come up in the past, images of the social worker driving off with my little boy in the car (that didn't actually happen but it was a recurring dream I had for several years afterwards, where she dragged him out of my arms while my mum stood there laughing and encouraging her and then she drove off with him.  Just typing that I can feel the rage and the venom rising up from my stomach and I want to punch them both in the face).

But I am digressing.  I am going to make an appointment to see the GP and get the PTSD type stuff recorded and ask her for a letter that explains how ill dealing with them makes me so I can wave it at people when necessary (our previous GP did this for me a couple of years ago; it's one of the things that frustrates me about the system - no-one will take me at my word but if the GP writes up what I tell her they'll accept it).

I have written up a very detailed list of what I need to do, resources I need to gather together, information I need to read, people I need to contact and so on.  I had notes on all of it but where I've been so tired they were scattered and scrappy so I've written it all up fresh, in a notebook so that I can make notes about what I'm doing as I go along.  I've got ten stressful paperwork jobs to do and then five less stressful ones as they're more to do with putting together a new home based programme for son, checking new venues, reading up on benefit changes when he turns 18 and so on.  So ten hideous ones and five not hideous ones.

I've given myself a week to deal with each job and written the date it needs to be finished by.  Three of the jobs are basically just emails and shouldn't take long to do at all.  A couple of the complaints are fairly straightforward and shouldn't take too long either.  The last job on the list will only be necessary if the earlier complaints don't set the wheels in motion so I might not need to do that at all.  So I'm hoping that the quick jobs will balance out the slower ones and that I'll be able to move through the list a bit quicker than I've timetabled, but either way, we should be at the top of the paperwork mountain by the end of November (unless we have another court hearing but I'll leave that to one side for now as I won't know about that for another couple of months).

I'm aiming to do two hours a day on it and want to work Monday to Friday, but did decide to get one session in today to get the ball rolling.  I armed myself with tea and water, took various flower remedies (which I've carried on taking as I work) and sucked on my CBD vape a lot.  I've got relaxing music on in the background and I'm going to keep stopping to tidy up around myself as I go, because I find the mess distracting and I find it hard to find things if it's untidy so I'm going to keep on top of that as part of it.

I feel shaky but I'm going to plough on with it now.  I feel better for the five weeks of rest I've had - an awful lot of my symptoms have reduced significantly over the last month, including the menopause stuff, so I do feel a lot of it is exacerbated by stress and exhaustion, if not caused by it.  I feel better for being organised and feel like I can get on with it more now.  I've made myself sit down by 3pm so that I can be finished by 5pm and then we can have tea and go to the beach.

So that's my achievement for today!  Feel sick but I'm going to keep pushing past it and hopefully by Friday I will be making some good progress. xx

[Twoapenny]

And first job finished!  I am now officially a week ahead of schedule!  Lol xx

[Twoapenny]

Second job done.  Have decided to spend the first and last ten minutes of each session tidying and organising so that I can keep on top of things.

[lighter]

Wow, Lighter, you have been busy!  Your food descriptions always make my mouth water, everything sounds so yummy!  And I love the idea of trying different dishes in a couple of restaurants.  Really good to skip the drag show if you just decided you didn't want to go rather than forcing yourself to sit through it and get home tired.  Love that DD gave you a hug

The Brain Centre sounds so interesting, is it a course of treatment you've booked up for or will it be a long term thing for you?  It sounds like it's really helping.  I'm glad.  I hope the breathing helps with the paperwork.  I tried, without stress, and failed.  I've lost an important file, and am trying to locate all receipts, one at a time, and it's not going well. 

My big achievement for today is that I started on the paperwork!  My anxiety grew the close I got to doing it and as I sat down and started pulling files towards me definite PTSD type symptoms started - tight chest, difficulty breathing, sick feeling in stomach, a kind of prickly heat on my arms and back, sweating and my brain starts firing off in a million different places - imaginary arguments that might come up with people, old arguments that have come up in the past, images of the social worker driving off with my little boy in the car (that didn't actually happen but it was a recurring dream I had for several years afterwards, where she dragged him out of my arms while my mum stood there laughing and encouraging her and then she drove off with him.  Just typing that I can feel the rage and the venom rising up from my stomach and I want to punch them both in the face).I'm so sorry, (((Tupp.,))  My T would say to get up and PUSH ON THAT WALL with all your might.  That energy is real, and it's driving up through your body, and out your arms and legs to DO DO DO, and it's better to do push ups, or sit ups, PUSH and let it discharge, which is always the opposite of what I want to do when I feel stressed.  That feeling stressed, and planning for bad situations, and situations from the past is a coping strategy, Tupp, and we're both used to doing it.  It's saved us in the past, but it's hurting us now. 

We learn to breath, walk, push our way out from under the alarm bells, and engage higher brain... then go back to the task at hand, and keep doing that until we get more control over the alarm bells.  Soon, we train our systems into parasympathetic mode, or at least build those pathways up, so they're stronger and more easily used. 

But I am digressing.  I am going to make an appointment to see the GP and get the PTSD type stuff recorded and ask her for a letter that explains how ill dealing with them makes me so I can wave it at people when necessary (our previous GP did this for me a couple of years ago; it's one of the things that frustrates me about the system - no-one will take me at my word but if the GP writes up what I tell her they'll accept it).  Yes.  Sounds very helpful.

I have written up a very detailed list of what I need to do, resources I need to gather together, information I need to read, people I need to contact and so on.  I had notes on all of it but where I've been so tired they were scattered and scrappy so I've written it all up fresh, in a notebook so that I can make notes about what I'm doing as I go along. Sometimes notes, and files are easy to locate for me.  Sometimes I'm lost in a sea of information.  I envy your organization skills. I've got ten stressful paperwork jobs to do and then five less stressful ones as they're more to do with putting together a new home based programme for son, checking new venues, reading up on benefit changes when he turns 18 and so on.  So ten hideous ones and five not hideous ones.  I think you have the skill of breaking down tasks into realistic pieces and carrying them out.  Unhooking those old alarm bells seems like it would be super helpful, Tupp.   

I've given myself a week to deal with each job and written the date it needs to be finished by.  Three of the jobs are basically just emails and shouldn't take long to do at all.  A couple of the complaints are fairly straightforward and shouldn't take too long either.  The last job on the list will only be necessary if the earlier complaints don't set the wheels in motion so I might not need to do that at all.  So I'm hoping that the quick jobs will balance out the slower ones and that I'll be able to move through the list a bit quicker than I've timetabled, but either way, we should be at the top of the paperwork mountain by the end of November (unless we have another court hearing but I'll leave that to one side for now as I won't know about that for another couple of months).

I'm aiming to do two hours a day on it and want to work Monday to Friday, but did decide to get one session in today to get the ball rolling.  I armed myself with tea and water, took various flower remedies (which I've carried on taking as I work) and sucked on my CBD vape a lot.  I've got relaxing music on in the background and I'm going to keep stopping to tidy up around myself as I go, because I find the mess distracting and I find it hard to find things if it's untidy so I'm going to keep on top of that as part of it.  You're an amazing Amazon, Tupp. 

I feel shaky but I'm going to plough on with it now.  I feel better for the five weeks of rest I've had - an awful lot of my symptoms have reduced significantly over the last month, including the menopause stuff, so I do feel a lot of it is exacerbated by stress and exhaustion, if not caused by it.  I feel better for being organised and feel like I can get on with it more now.  I've made myself sit down by 3pm so that I can be finished by 5pm and then we can have tea and go to the beach.  ::picturing Tupp at the beach::.  So wise to get out into nature. 

So that's my achievement for today!  Feel sick but I'm going to keep pushing past it and hopefully by Friday I will be making some good progress. xx  You're amazing. Lighter

[Meh]

Two, good job on being ahead of schedule, one less thing to do.

[Meh]

Organized the desktop files on my laptop!! wooo hooo less clutter. It's crazy that technology is another place that can get cluttered.

Also got my emails from 600 down to about 25. Now that I am starting to get important emails for once might as well clean it.

Went for a walk at night looked at stars was nice.

[Hopalong]

Bravo, G!

Seriously.

Hops

[Twoapenny]

This made me feel better just reading what you all did! I'm afraid I havent been near so productive though.

Actually slept all night and woke up without an earache for first time in over a week. I think I'm on the mend!

Coffee and breakfast and online obsessing about politics (waving at Skep and Hops).

Texted my daughter back and forth about her trip here next week. This is the first time that she has come home on a trip that I havent had to work most of the time. Ever. We are going to art exhibits and out to dinner, and over to my son's and his boyfriends apartment for tacos. Then hanging out with other sons for rest of week. I am so looking forward to it and the planning was half the fun.

Pulled together my paperwork to send to leasing office for new apartment. Bright and early Monday morning, and hopefully no snafus, and it should be all squared away. Then spent some time planning room arrangement in new living room!

Made 2 veggie pizzas and chatted with son. Called other daughter and caught up on things (so nice to be talking again) and found homes with her for several items that won't fit into new apartment.

Grocery shop. It. Is. So. Hot. Outside.  Shlep groceries in and dirty laundry out.

Washed clothes but whole system went down before I could dry them. GRRRR. One of many reasons I am moving.

Piled wet clothes into car and drove to the other laundry center in complex. You could fry an egg in there

Now I'm drinking kombucha and try to cool down before I go get them --and then I am in for the night.

Did I pack? No. But no negative stuff. Only what I DID do, right?

CB

That sounds to me like you did a lot, CB!  And yep, what we did do, not what we didn't   And I think things like getting a good night's sleep count as achievements, because they're so beneficial to us (and sometimes so hard to achieve).  So I think that one is a biggie Do you know when you get in to your new apartment?  Glad you got the paperwork together and sorted out xx xx