Mindfulness and codependence thread

[Hopalong]

Tupp, I was moved by your story about visiting the kind neighbor family and how that felt to you. I forgot to tell you so...but I pictured it vividly and it hit my heart. Like a puppy out in the dark with its nose pressed against a window. Not as bad as what you felt, but I remember a lot of yearning for a kind home atmosphere when my brother made me so miserable, my mother was emotionally absent and my Dad was working too hard to really see. Much less what happened at school.

I told my T about that incident with the strange horse who spotted me weeping against the fence and cantered over to plant her forehead on mine and stnd stock-still to comfort me until I was sone. She asked, a happy memory? I said yes in a way but it also hurts, because I was feeling pure empathy and connection from an animal that I realize I never got from a person. I'd been a very sad child. I can relate to how you felt seeing that gentle family enjoy tea together. Ouch.

Lighter, any update on your young houseguest? I hope she's okay and that the questions I peppered you with weren't intrusive. NO need to fill in if it doesn't feel comfortable. I just began thinking about [her?] and what is happening in that life.

hugs
Hops

[lighter]

 Hops:

The houseguest....a him....is in another safe location.  Either a host home attached to the facility he's going into, or a sort of step brother's sofa. 

I haven't asked him or his mental health team. 

That team is amazing, btw.  All trauma informed therapists, and one does EMDR if they can get him to a more stable head place. 

I'm very hopeful about his situation.


Lighter

[lighter]

I have to admit....figuring out how to cut crown moulding was brain burning difficult today.  It took my neighbor and me 2.5 hours to finish cutting 4 pieces of moulding and do
not
laugh
bc it's really really hard.

The nail gun battery was dead so we finish and caulk tomorrow.  That leaves finding brackets for washer dryer pedestals, which aren't same brand as new LG appliances.
I should be done on 17th with a few small things to finish.
The weather is amazing and I make sure to work outside, shower on the porch or rest in the moss daily. 

I feel....

happy.
Lighter

[sKePTiKal]

Crown moulding is definitely hard Lighter! It's backwards & inside out when it's up; and you're making cuts from exactly the opposite direction from the floor.

[lighter]

Ahhh.....neighbor and I could sellout brains burning SO HARD, but done and caulked.  Looks amazing, btw.  Really finished off the very simple room and open cabinets.  Just really pleased.

Dryer arrives tomorrow with an 8 hour delivery window, grrr.

The happy piece in all this is selecting and handling things I love, or thought brought me joy.  I'm discovering what's truly special for me, and editing out everything else from all over the place.

Now, when people walk into the house thru the garage, they enter into a pristine room with uncluttered lovely sieves holding beautiful and functional laundry room items, and little else.  So pretty.

It brings me joy.

Lighter

[Hopalong]

Glad about your joy, Lighter!

hugs
Hops

[sKePTiKal]

Hol and I were talking about that "claiming" of a space yesterday - and turning it into just what we visualized. She is still moving into the hut - and trying to sort, purge, toss/donate/turn into sewing supplies - and figure out where everything goes. She's had a couple of those moments of AAAAHHHHH... it's just so.

I am slowly getting there in the bedroom. For some reason, my usual helpers havent't called back to schedule - so I'll probably have Buck help me finish a few of the details. Then I'm ready to entertain redesign of the living room. Just in the idea phase right now. And of course, now I have to be a bit more frugal and sure of what I want than previously. But it's doable.

[Twoapenny]

Ahhh.....neighbor and I could sellout brains burning SO HARD, but done and caulked.  Looks amazing, btw.  Really finished off the very simple room and open cabinets.  Just really pleased.

Dryer arrives tomorrow with an 8 hour delivery window, grrr.

The happy piece in all this is selecting and handling things I love, or thought brought me joy.  I'm discovering what's truly special for me, and editing out everything else from all over the place.

Now, when people walk into the house thru the garage, they enter into a pristine room with uncluttered lovely sieves holding beautiful and functional laundry room items, and little else.  So pretty.

It brings me joy.

Lighter

That sounds really lovely, Lighter, and I hope the dryer arrived!  Those eight hour slots are frustrating; most companies here now will text on the day with a two hour slot but it still means you have to keep your day flexible to be able to be in at the right time.  I hope it got there eventually xx

[lighter]

Oh, the dryer arrived, Tupp.  It's sitting in front of the master bath door, not attached to its base....waiting for me to engineer the two together.

But first....engineering the super heavy washer to its pedestal, which I've thought through, but have to execute.

I'm at Dad's farm dealing with Phillioinos moving into a wonderful brick ranch in great shape.  They need a houseful of stuff so will mark what they can taken, then help them move next weekend.  It's very exciting.  They're buying a house! 

Much to think about now.

I do want to say.....it feels like my parasympathetic nervous system is up and running efficiently.

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

Oh wow, Lighter, busy busy!  That sounds great, lots going on and a calm and untriggered nervous system to boot.  That sounds like a good combination.  I hope everything goes smoothly and well xx

[lighter]

Laundry room back together.
Finally.
Looks amazing.  I have some cabinet trim to finish and a hole to drill for electric power strip to be mounted in shelving.  Youngest said it's too nice a laundry room for our house, but it is serene and beautiful.

I think we'll work outdoors the balance of the day.

ICD friend will help me organize and put in systems next week....hopefully ones I can sustain.

This is great good motivation for a brutal edit. 

I'm glad you have a pleasant garden area, Tupp.  Maybe look at photos of gardens you love, and think about the garden you will have.  Research the plants and growing conditions so you can visualize the next property garden accurately....to optimize joy and planning.

I taped a picture of the laundry room I liked...that was 6 years ago, then, BAM!  It was time to make it happen when it was time.  I have to tell you....I had details figured out ahead, like how to remove cabinet doors, caulk and trim out to make it look like I had built in shelving....its all the difference for 10.00 in trim and a tube of caulk, just about.

Anyhow, shade vs sun gardens research would brighten my heart during a dreary dim winter season : )  Maybe yours too!

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

Amazing what a few small and not too expensive changes can do to the way a place looks, Lighter, and amazing that changing the look changes the way it feels as well.  I'm glad it's almost completely finished and is looking the way you wanted it to xx

[Twoapenny]

Lighter I had a very vivid dream about you last night and it was so real I woke up panicking that I hadn't made the spare bed up for you!  Lol.  In the dream you came to visit me in my home, which wasn't my current home but a flat with lots of rooms and long corridors.  You were wearing a very vivid pink dress and you'd brought me a lorry load of vegetables that I was busy cutting and prepping for the freezer, along with a stack of travel books for me to read.  We went outside to get some more vegetables from the lorry but then couldn't remember which door was the right one as there were dozens of them and none of them had numbers, so we had to try them all, whilst trying to hold on to all the potatoes and cauliflowers.  Lol.  I've no idea what a dream analyst would make of that but it felt so real I was half expecting to find boxes of veg in the kitchen when I came downstairs this morning   lol xx

[lighter]

 I'm taking a moment to pack up my father's lake house to check on the board, and..
You're dream brought tears to my eyes, ((Tupp.))

You know I was checking flights your way a few years ago.  I can absolutely picture that visit with you.  Your dream made me so happy: )

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

I'm taking a moment to pack up my father's lake house to check on the board, and..
You're dream brought tears to my eyes, ((Tupp.))

You know I was checking flights your way a few years ago.  I can absolutely picture that visit with you.  Your dream made me so happy: )

Lighter

It was so vivid, Lighter, although I'm still not sure how significant the cauliflowers were   Lol, I would so love to come over there and meet all of my board buddies one day, that would be such an amazing get together xx