Thanks for responses, guys.
I've had a couple experiences I don't want to repeat with what felt like an energetic cloud of static.... it moved down from a corner and pinned me in my bed, squeaking only, when I tried to scream. Very disconcerting and stopped around the time it began.
There's SOMETHING, just not sure what. My T said there's entities.... pieces of people who've moved on, esp those who were addicted. Apparently those pieces are driven to continue to use through other (fearful) people, in a nut shell. Not that addiction and being addicted is the only factor. Mostly, she said fear is the factor and is dispelled with connection and love.....like shining a light on a shadow...it just dissapears when the light lands.
I hope that's the case, but who knows? Whatever has been following my BIL's family around for generations, from Country to Country and home to home has apparently with both maternal and paternal families before they ever met. Puzzling, to be sure. Jumps to newcomers to the family and the children and sometimes lands on people connected to them, but only for moments and usually only once or twice.
I spoke with a psychologist referred to me as he does much work with spirituality, hence, the referral. He was absolutely fascinated by the story and completely interested in the reasons WHY a family or families would be attached to something... an entitiy...... and wanted to figure that out. How in the whole world can that be determined when it goes back generations in two families in another Country? THat IT HOPPED onto one of my family members, and sat on MY chest a couple times means I believe, without reservation, bc I saw it with my own eyes and felt it with my own body. It doesn't mean I want to understand it or figure it out. Just make it go away. I'm waiting to hear from another referral now, should they take the call. Will see.
Hops, I don't feel as though I haunt myself. I used to feel I was in my own way, but that's not the same, me'thinks. Maybe it IS the same, in a way..... I mean..... being too open can be part of why my crazy neighbors and contractors and dates/husbands feel open enough to BE the crazies they truly are....
with me.....
and not everyone else. Grrrrr..... the exact and precise measure of that statement remains to be worked out.
It's a terrible thing to be one of the people PDs take their masks off for, fully. FOOs happen to people and it doesn't matter if one is too open or not,, IME. The masks are coming off, bc of proximity and vulnerability of children and spouses lacking resources and systemic bias I've seen with my own eyes and heard with my own ears.
But with neighbors..... with contractors.... it IS the openess allowing them to unmask, at least to an extent, if they're wearing that mask around most of the other neigbors. Something I've been thinking about a lot. I've actually learned to zip up my energy and wear it like a tight shield recently, which makes me feel more tidy....more contained, if that makes sense.
Amber, I like the idea of not allowing the ghosts/entities inside the house. My T actually asks her ancestors and protectors to clear her home about once a month, and it always goes to the one Southern corner and clears it, always... so she explained. Anyone can do it and I'll begin doing it too. I just didn't want to start whle my sis and niece are inside the house, just in case, kwim?
My kids aren't involved..... and I haven't been for 40 years..... it would just compound the situation if some hopping happened, bc right now is a pretty active time for visitations with my niece who'll arrive tomorrow night at midnight. I'll be away till Saturday.
Tupp: I told my lovely next door neighbors about the YELLY GUY problem and how our shared retired nurse-neighbor bought YG's story and invites him into our shared cul-de-sac, didn't judge it, but stated as fact. The husband said he always felt something "wasn't right" with Yelly Guy, despite his helping them after a fall many years ago. We agreed helping is the sunny side of control and let it drop. Lots to catch up on and the grandkids were running around having such fun.
A few days later I told the Cowgirl about the Yelly Guy and how the retired nurse allows him onto her property, which is YG's only reason to BE on the cul-de-sac now. Cowgirl said she saw YG hiding in my home once, when I knew he was there I THINK helping me install my washer dryer units. She said she finds Yelly Guy creepy and doesn't trust retired nurse and they aren't friendly..... retired nurse is a "gossip" as far as Cowgirl is concerned. It was funny, bc we were sort of gossiping in that moment. She didn't see the humor,but she's under the gun and in the weeds,badly, for a long while.
Cowgirl is the best friend of Yelly Guy's wife, btw, so there's a chance the YG's visitations on our street will end bc she takes him in hand. In any case, I'm relieved and able to turn back to my stuff without worrying about what others think or do.
I just handled a vexing problem solved only on computer and there was a wave of upset, then I did what I had to do and it's out of my system. That would have upset me for days, before. Cultivating positive pathways and nurturing them leads to an easier life, IME.
The fruits and flowers of sweating and working hard at shifting focus off negative patterns are worth the sweat and work, IME.
There was a time I'd have felt guilty about the piles of leaves around retired nurse's house and on the property line, but I feel nothing about them when I see them now. She used to blow them onto my leaf beds, easy peasy. Now she has to blow and drag them around to her back OR get someone else to do it for her. I used to be the helpful, easy neighbor....... now she has Yelly Guy who does't seem to take a hint, at least not like I did.
At a point, retired nurse pointed her leaves out to my sister, who also didn't offer my leaf beds as easy accessed dumping ground.
I might change my mind, but not today.
Lighter
