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Farm Doin's - 2020

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sKePTiKal:
Well, the visions are pretty close - except I'm intent on living pretty privately, not a lot of company and she wants to be able to share the space and ambiance - and add her urban soundtrack into the hills (where I'm more likely to play bluegrass & bagpipes - or tibetan monks).

She wants to raise goats for making cheese; I'm looking at heritage breed cows - dexters - which provide milk and are a decent beef cow. I don't like pigs; anyway shape or form. S keeps ducks, geese & guinea keets - and when all this construction stuff dies down - we'll probably both have chickens, layers & meat. I want to stock the pond with fish. Buck wants to put an alligator in it - LOLOL.

She is planning to move her sewing, quilting, leather operation to the hut - which opens up the studio again. After making Buck a shirt and a parka - first sewing projects in 20 years - my old Husky decided to have a computer crash. Only local - but not close at all - place to get it looked at turned out to be a Mennonite quilt shop... and while I was there (machine fixed for free, along with the magic button combination to fix it again) I bought another mechanical one. Straight sewing machine, no embroidery, no computer. I was drooling over the industrial machine they had in the shop. I've wanted to get a loom, because I should be able to find wool to spin & weave around here. Textiles is something we want to keep going with - along with the self-sufficient garden/livestock plan.

Buck of course, needs a metal & mechanics shop. Since Holly has been learning to weld - she can refine her skill there and she's already a decent mechanical brain. B also is rock hound... and is eager to search the hills, cliff and fields for fossils, and whatever else might have lain hidden in the woods for a long time. Not to mention, he was quoting Chaucer last night... and regularly spews some Shakespeare play or another out of the lesser known ones.

I occasionally have flights of fancy about getting a horse - morgan or fjord pony - that can act as an all purpose farm animal: drive, ride & plow, timber, etc. And then I nix it - because the highway is way too dangerous for horses. Except right after the shutdown in the spring, there wasn't any traffic - especially big trucks - to speak of. Who'd have thought life would bring circumstances to the point that actual "horse" power would be feasible this soon?

New technology is blending with the old ways and I think Hol is about as committed to my idea of low-impact, but sustainable life style here. She is doing a lot of research into methods; her friend M is a master gardener & advocate of permaculture - which is the revival of old ways again - LOL. And so far, all of us can be reasonably comfortable sans the conveniences of modern life. I might have the worst internet addiction - but that's partly because the sources of local, regional & state news are pretty scanty and WV went online back when we built the first homestead. There are still pockets around that don't have fiber available yet... but there are a LOT of workarounds.

Hol is the lawn mowing queen and champion wood splitter. She also likes to build with rocks - she was my helper on those projects at the first homestead. The bobcat makes that work a lot faster, safer, and fun. She has a head full of ideas for plantings at the hut. I still have herbs in seedling pots to transplant and it's just been too danged hot & dry - and soo much OTHER crap going on. Every year, I think - this is the year I'll not have anything else to deal with and have permanent dirt under my nails. And every year, I end up saying - well there's always next year.

It has been interesting and fun to meet more of her friends; and there are overlaps in interests... so I would welcome them to the county & surrounding ones too. But I just don't want a large group of people all doing their own thing at all hours all the time out here. She's been told point blank - after I'm gone - she can do as she likes with the place. I really won't care. And there are some of her friends who are closer to "inner circle" people - who bring compatible skills and personalities and energy to contribute; so it's not like she has to ask permission to have guests in the hut. She knows to let me know if she's hosting bigger groups for a camping weekend or whatever. I've been able to be OK during those too... and enjoy the solitude I'm afforded by not being the central HQ for festivities. So it works out pretty well. (At 40-ish, most of her friends are past the hell-raising, invincible, "hold my beer & watch this" phase; that helps too.)

Hopalong:
Oh my gosh, Amber. I love SO much about all of this.
I'm just having happy ping-ping-pings because:

I looooove goats. Used to milk some for a friend up near the mountains when he went away (when I lived out there too). Baby goats are the bomb. And the cheese...

I like aquaculture over gators, but B must have a right to his own little pet, eh?

I used to ride and looooove being near horses, but no longer for harnessing and sitting on. I hate bits. To me a horse's nostril is one of the most beautiful shapes in nature. And a horse was my friend once in a way that humbled me.

I wish I still sewed. Nmom had incredible standards for sewing...no garment came from her old Singer that did not have exquisite French seams. Dayyum. And I lived with a super talented weaver once. Same house, also included potters. Have you thought of a potting studio? Bet Buck would be awesome at that, dunno why.

Permaculture is EVERYTHING! I am so excited that Hol really does have a strong vision and it's so creative and sustainable and well aligned with yours.

As to hordes of guests or loud music...it's good most are in their 40s now and that she's clear on permissions required. I hope they'll all be considerate and wonderful to you and not disturb your peace. I have no advice except set those boundaries early and hold them consistently with no apology or anxiety. I know you can.

Where's my hut going? I'm not picky.

hugs
Hops

sKePTiKal:
Not all of those things may manifest in reality however. I'm pretty realistic about how much I can/want to do. So, one goal at a time before I find myself in over my head. LOLOL.

Mon/Tues the hardwood is getting installed in the bedroom. I used all the stone I had, and did not finish on the wall. Out of adhesive, too. And of course, now that's out of stock at my home depot... and I'm not driving 50 miles to where they do have it... because I need to empty my bedroom and closet enough that they can get in and lay the flooring before Monday. LOLOL.

As far as what we want to do out here, I think all of us are on the same page - but it's not going to fly that one person isn't contributing to the daily chores and only taking care of his own stuff. I haven't required it till now; waited to see if he'd offer - nope. He does have his projects - the ducks & geese are providing eggs and we could eat them. Chickens will come into the picture once everyone is settled again. So, we'll see. When it comes time for Hol to fill her propane tank and figure out how to get internet down there... see if he's paying his share or not.

Yes, I worry about personalities being compatible here, but IT'S NOT MY JOB TO MAKE THEM GET ALONG. People can't act like grownups and behave - or "Happy Trails".... I got other things to think about, manage, organize and work on. It's not my job, and I'm not his mommy, to pick up after him or manage his emotions for him by making sure he's never ever uncomfortable about anything else going on here, at my - or B's - pleasure. End of negotiation. Don't like those terms? Well then, you know how to get back to your farm and I'm sure both ex GF's will welcome you and soothe your wounds.... NOT. LOLOL.

This here "country" ain't a democracy even if I will listen to everyone from time to time. It's also not a dictatorship - because I have no interest in spending my time trying to manage other people. But I do have expectations and standards.

lighter:

--- Quote from: sKePTiKal on August 12, 2020, 05:27:57 PM ---So, we'll see. When it comes time for Hol to fill her propane tank and figure out how to get internet down there... see if he's paying his share or not.Yup.
Yes, I worry about personalities being compatible here, but IT'S NOT MY JOB TO MAKE THEM GET ALONG. People can't act like grownups and behave - or "Happy Trails".... I got other things to think about, manage, organize and work on. It's not my job, and I'm not his mommy, to pick up after him or manage his emotions for him by making sure he's never ever uncomfortable about anything else going on here, at my - or B's - pleasure. End of negotiation. Don't like those terms? Well then, you know how to get back to your farm and I'm sure both ex GF's will welcome you and soothe your wounds.... NOT. LOLOL.  You got that right, Amber.

This here "country" ain't a democracy even if I will listen to everyone from time to time. It's also not a dictatorship - because I have no interest in spending my time trying to manage other people. But I do have expectations and standards.
::reminded of the O-Ren Ishii's speech to the Tokyo crime bosses ::.
If anyone has anything to say... they should respectfully come to you and say it.   You're open to discuss all topics EXCEPT for how you conduct your private life.   Paraphrasing here.

::NOD::.

Lighter



--- End quote ---

sKePTiKal:
My bedroom looks really strange with all my little still lifes/altars moved out. But it feels like the timing is right - all that "stuff" suited the hermit phase I started out here in, recovering and reclaiming "me" from all the change I'd lived through in the past couple decades. I feel like that's finally finished. So now - making space for Buck - and making the room as comfortable and healthy as I can make it. Still want to change out the french door with a good slider... but that can happen later.

Upstairs and downstairs - are the shrinking Holly piles of stuff. We are keeping fingers crossed that this week she can get serious about moving in. Yes, she's already pushing it as much as possible... while not getting in the contractor's way. And we're already starting to transition from the daily morning "what's going on" conversation to a once a week pow-wow.

There are some developments on the Hol & S front; and "little Amber" (pre-Twiggy days) made a cameo appearance to make a non-verbal but unmistakable comment. For now, I'm going to stay mum on the details -- but suffice it to say that Hol is making short work of deconstructing the imbalances in this relationship -- all she said to me yesterday was apparently she wasn't allowed to expect any more from him in the relationship because "that's who he IS" and yet, it's decidedly NOT OK for Hol to be who SHE IS. We had talked about "capability" the night before and how, while it's always possible for people to change & grow at some unknown future time... what they are capable of in the present is also important. Because that's where you're building communication (minimal in his case) and emotional connection (she's doing that all alone) and trust (:rolling my eyes so hard I'm looking out my ass:) -- she can almost certainly COUNT on him, to have some excuse when she wants to do something and even ASKING for help isn't getting her any. Because he's constantly "stuck" in his "present state" of "being who he is" and will not disturb that for what anyone around him wants/needs/expects.

So she's been doing all the moving in, and keeping quiet too... and I can see the wheels turning. A week ago she came out with: she wished she could move into the hut 3 weeks before he did. (Referring to his pigpen habits.) They have not talked since he yelled at her two nights ago and she slept in the other room. We got up and didn't see his car - thought he'd left - and sadly that was a false alarm. The temperature & atmosphere around here felt way lighter, fresher, less toxic even just believing he was gone. He's parasitical.

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