Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Farm Doin's - 2020
sKePTiKal:
Anyone else have the thought that sometimes we can become too attached to "looking at ourselves", "working on ourselves"... and it eventually becomes an escape? So that instead of DOING something different, or doing something ABOUT (changing) ourselves... we're just mesmerized and frozen in the self-care, self-analysis stage?
It's akin to just scrolling your feed on social media - in that it tricks the "monkey mind" into thinking it's "doing something" (and even assigning an importance to it)... when in reality, it's like playing solitaire - just passing time and hoping that something comes along that's different. No active participation; passively waiting for "life to happen".
Sure sometimes this does feed our sense of connection... but lately, I'm sensing it's more of a crutch for me. A diversion that I don't really need - but that I've convinced myself is important for my life.
:scratching my head: :stretching:
I dunno; maybe it's time I do less of this. Just Sunday morning rambling thoughts.
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I stumbled on an idea for a new kind of job, while having conversations re: Covid, the economy, my personal business side of things. I ran it past Hol, who is simply looking for a way to make money - that matters to other people. It is to become a combo babysitter/tutor while kids are at home in distance learning scenarios. I think she'd be good at that. And if it freed up parents to work... and keep their jobs... they could afford to pay her a decent weekly amount without breaking their budget. Kids would have some disciplinary oversight, and adult supervision/tech help/tutoring... and she would get to know a lot of the people around here and be of service. Not just taking & filling drive-thru orders. PLUS, she could take on as much or as little as she wanted... because we're talking the middle school cohort, where a lot of the kids are on staggered in-person schedules and they're almost at "latch key" maturity... but not quite.
Yes it means breaking isolation. But any job outside of at home would do that. Just sharing... because I know it fills a gap that exists in these new circumstances.
Hopalong:
I like the Hol-job idea except for how scary it might be if she brought the virus home to you and/or B. Asymptomatic carriers and such in others' homes. You are in a tough dilemma right now with the business and I assume the mountain has carrying costs that aren't going away. Post-vaccine, though, things will get better.
With her film experience, I wish Hol could develop some online materials for education, if there's not a glut in the market. If she got certified as a teacher (much of which can happen online) it'd be awesome though not instant. When schools open again safely, maybe she could work as a substitute around the area? Ten years ago my D made $200/day doing that, which really surprised me. (No education degree required.)
Regarding the family company (and I'm thinking you'll have already thought of virtually every possibility, but wth)...is there any possibility that with a new administration supporting green jobs development and infrastructure, that the company could retool in some way (or part of it) to make greener thingamajigs? Of course that's probably very expensive too. Does it already do any government contracts? Women-or-minority-owned businesses are often eligible for contracts at the top of the list. (The last company I worked for became employee-owned, which was also an interesting process to go through.)
Rambling jumble and I really don't know enough about your business to fantasize, and you are grounded in the reality of it, whatever shape that is. I know it's hard.
hugs
Hops
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: sKePTiKal on November 22, 2020, 09:44:29 AM ---Anyone else have the thought that sometimes we can become too attached to "looking at ourselves", "working on ourselves"... and it eventually becomes an escape? So that instead of DOING something different, or doing something ABOUT (changing) ourselves... we're just mesmerized and frozen in the self-care, self-analysis stage?
Skep, yes. Absolutely. For me it's been a bit like that thing when you decide you want to buy a certain kind of car - and then everywhere you go you see that make and model, even though you'd not really noticed them before. Counseling helped me more than I can ever put into words, I think, as have many self help type things, and all of you guys on here, but I think it also made me notice very little thing a person does and made me hyper aware of my own dysfunction/triggers/aspects of my personality that I'm not keen on. I had a thing in my head for a long time that I needed to become a perfectly functioning human but, of course, there's no such thing. I'm finding accepting my own faults and just letting them be harder than accepting other people's, which is odd. But yes, I think it is very possible to avoid action by over analysing and inadvertently paralysing ourselves in the process.
And yes to the child minding slightly older kids thing - I think a lot of families are struggling with those sorts of issues at the moment and paying someone else to sit with them for at least part of the day is probably cheaper than one parent having to give up work or cut their hours right down. It sounds like a good plan xx
--- End quote ---
Twoapenny:
Oh I meant to just quote the bit you said and I don't know how to change it now, hopefully it makes sense lol xx
Hopalong:
--- Quote ---I'm finding accepting my own faults and just letting them be harder than accepting other people's, which is odd.
--- End quote ---
Oh AMEN.
And again!
May be odd but it's the core of self-doubt, self-criticism, and when it's bad, even self-loathing.
So love for our real inner child, the kind friend voice in our heads first and foremost, alla that...needs to become the main show, not a guest appearance. Imo.
It's what I need, anyway. Even the smallest "wins" over the critical inner voice feel like sunlight breaking right through the ceiling.
hugs
Hops
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