Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Farm Doin's - 2020
Twoapenny:
I'm glad things have settled a bit, Skep, and are looking a bit less daunting business wise. And that the baking is on track! Nothing nicer than a box of home made something from someone, in my opinion. I hope the Solstice provides some space and a clear start. I've been cleaning all day so that we can have a quiet, reflective day tomorrow - hopefully a walk on the beach if it stops raining but if not, we've got quiet space at home to reflect on this year and start working on plans for next. I have to say I'm amazed to read you'll be kicking it up a notch at the farm - you always seem to be going at top notch already! Look forward to reading more about whatever plans your endless energy brings :) xx
sKePTiKal:
Well, there is 3 of us here Tupp; all able-bodied and know the meaning of work - soon to be 4 - if the rumblings, rumor and breadcrumbs of info I get from Buck mean he's getting close to being here. I know he's working on getting his D's other parent to chip in for tuition. When I look back - it's amazing how much has changed here; and after the metal shop, the only other building project we couldn't do ourselves would be the studio remodel and possibly a livestock barn - depending on whether or not, any of us feel like taking on that responsibility. Milk cows are labor intensive, but then there can be butter & cheese. (I'm not overly fond of goats/goat cheese.)
Mike's D, sent Hol & I pictures of her new engagement ring last night. She and her guy have been together 4 years. With her two kids, and their crazy schedules - she's now moved up to mgmt between the health system's trauma centers and he's still a med chopper pilot - we've still not met him. We call him her "imaginary boyfriend". LOLOL. But that's a bit of happy news and I'm pretty sure it's the right thing at the right time for her. She just finished her master's in nursing, too.
Weather is going to be a challenge around here; expecting very cold temps this coming weekend. So more snow removal (to prevent ice) is on the agenda - and slowing down a little bit. Shipping out goodies today and making one more grocery run. Steve will slaughter a couple of his drakes and smoke/roast them and Hol is in search of farro for pomegranite, blue cheese & walnut salad. I'm going to bake bread, warm up my spiral ham, and grab some good cheese for sandwiches. Mac & cheese, or something like to go with. Expecting some venison tenderloin, too - Rick took a buck over T'giving season... so I need a box of goodies for him too.
Mr. Stinkerbell is in NO way challenged getting around on this gimpy leg!! He and Freddy have regular intervals of kitty tussling, chasing, and napping. Stinker is still getting places (and trying to) he shouldn't even attempt. And I WISH he'd stop tickling my face with his whiskers at 3 am... sigh... yes, he's a super-cuddler and how can you be mad at that? But jeez.... let mama sleep, already!!
There is supposedly a bonfire and solstice/conjunction festivities scheduled for tonight. I might need a nap. Late night w/Buck last night. This is still - in some ways - a challenging transition for him. Me too... he brought up not feeling the "Christmas spirit" for the last 4 years. A lot of those, he was in or just getting out of the hospital. I remembered back to that first one, after Mike died at T'giving... only thing I remember from that one in 2015, is Bovie smoking ducks and Disturbed released their version of Sounds of Silence. LOLOL. Then the year I moved, I didn't do much. Deb & Hol came for visits but I think I was alone that year. Now I work hard at getting a quiet evening when I want one!! LOL.
Hol has become the virus commissar, so a lot of her soirees/camping adventures have been curtailed. We have chosen not to entertain her more challenging (interpersonally) friends & acquaintances; and her close friends are all going through some major life stuff. We're as much in lockdown as is practical. Just not taking chances right now. So, it's also freeing up emotional and headspace to think about how much stuff we really can let go -- and what other things might need some investigation. Like reworking the studio space for more production... looking at the snow-revealed landscape to see where some modifications for planting might happen... re-arranging rocks, etc. Since I bought the backhoe, that stuff is a lot more possible. And it appears Steve has the knack of using heavy machinery. He brought the bobcat up the driveway yesterday and went to the top of the hill with it - scaring me that he'd roll it - but he is very good with it. I am happy he's found another niche, to be useful around here. They're expecting a big truckload of trusses for the garage tomorrow. Yes, those guys will work in the cold - just not snow/rain.
My big Bunn coffeepot died again; so it's time to order a new one - since I gave Hol the last new one I got when the pot died the first time. And like it or not - I MUST get up and get stuff packed up, addressed and sealed up to ship today so it's at least there by new years. LOL. I have to pick Hol up too.
One foot in front of the other = ONWARDS!! Forward motion.
sKePTiKal:
Well, I got the few presents I got for the kids wrapped today. Only real kitchen work is making my favorite bread - recipe makes 2 loaves - and I'll deliver a loaf and presents later. Hol & S have a friend coming out for a couple days. S harvested one of the drakes and Hol will make dinner tomorrow. I'll cook a spiral ham and some kind of sides tomorrow for sandwiches and take that and some sweets down. Hang out awhile.
We're still waiting on presents to be delivered. Obviously a rough year for that kind of thing. I woke up feeling as bereft as I did after Mike died. Coz Buck isn't here... and then I insisted on "doing something" until the mood lifted. Its been pouring rain all day and never really got light. No way I'm giving in to that kind of gloom. But I can't fake it either. I just WILL be OK on my own and live my life until he can be here.
Watching Fellowship of the Ring. Waiting on bread to rise.
This year's holiday will be what it will be. We're warm, dry, have good food.
Hopalong:
Good (no, great) attitude, (((((Amber)))).
I understand the melancholy.
That human calendar has its hooks in us.
But you're doing really super well, it sounds.
Hang in there. This time next year I hazard you
and Buck will be feeling all the good holiday feels
together.
Meanwhile, big hugs,
Hops
Twoapenny:
I'm glad you've got that 'go away, gloomy feelings' ability. It's can be so hard to give ourselves that kick up the backside to get out of bed when you waking up feeling that way. I hope the day feels easier - pressies, kitties, freshly made bread and some good films to boot. Merry Christmas from over the pond :) xx
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