((((Tupp)))) and ((((((Garbanzo))))). Let's do that again. Bring it in, girls.
I'm very sorry. I think it really is different now and hitting people at a new level.
For six months, many people have been on an almost-adventure with quarantine,
at least some of the time. Full of bright smart declarations about vaccines
and treatments and best masks and so forth, topped off with dismay about
the lack of pulling together in the population AND incompetence in gov't.
But now. Now it's more like oh...that wasn't just a different period, this
may be a different era. Nature has her foot on our necks right now and humanity
is getting humbled.
About the touching--I wish I could hug each of you. Every day.
The only coping I can think of so far, for myself, is to persistently keep alert
to the possibility of Zooming my way to new friendships/relationships, that might
eventually lead to a safe "pod."
A committed "pod" agreement with somebody (such as I had with M).
We just had a commitment to do the same level of precautions consistently so after quarantining in our own places for three weeks, we felt safe with each other (hugging) and at each others' homes. It was nice while it lasted. Now, with less intimate connections, it's harder to find that fit. For example, I'd thought that many people my age would already be on board with seriously cautious behavior about the risks. But with one friend I discussed "pod" with, he mentioned that he went into the store recently because he "needed" a taste of blue cheese. Then we talked about how that wasn't a need but a craving. Hmmm. Bottom line,
I have many friends who still see grocery shopping in person as a need, not
a want. (It's a sensuous pleasure or positive experience they are convinced
is necessary. And perhaps it is, for their mental health. I'm the opposite--it's a chore and I can do without it.) I Shall Meet Needs Through Delivery and Amazon, Period. Nobody dies if somebody else picks out my zucchini. But I've learned to accept more than judge....because it really is true that different people have different levels of risk tolerance. Mine is intentionally very low on this, maybe because of my emergency hospitalization a year ago; with covid that'd be even more intense and that was scary enough.
And if the distress of going to stores or out in the community is exacerbated by some others being anti-civil or anti-social, then rather than rant, I'd just rather put my focus into figuring out what I can. I'm now doing Zoom dates with friends and it really does help. Physically, I can shrink my world to my street for walks, and a couple neighbors who's yards I safely sit in now and then or vice versa. It's good enough.
I have also heard of people establishing intentional pods with a couple of
friends, etc. Most often it's younger families, so the kids can play, but it
is rational with anyone. I wouldn't be surprised if in a few months we hear
about older people, solo people who live alone, all sorts of people finding
ways to set up small pods. Whether or not they're hugging pods, just to
know you can sit in someone's LR and watch a movie together, would help.
Or vice versa.
Meanwhile, I'm so grateful we have this place in space. To open up
our ribs and share how hard it is. And toning down the self-congratulation
when we do find solutions. There's always someone who deserves
easing of the pain of isolation just as much as we do, but who is unable to access the solutions we all read about (or write about).
The other thing I often think of is animals. People who are able to find or rescue an amimal really do have something to love. Physically and daily. Most people of privilege here who need one or more pets already have them, and it's harder for others to acquire them as shelters in many places were rapidly emptied. But the reality is that new strays of all sorts are born every day. Old folks who live alone need people who can take in their pooches if they become ill. Rabbits breed and guinea pigs are sweet and affectionate. Rats are also affectionate and smart. Even some turtles express pleasure at a nice head rub. Everything alive needs love.
So if it's a budgiepuppybunnykitty (go for a lot of walks and always have treats and a soft leash in your pocket)...there is something living out there right now who could come home with you and fill that hole in your heart. For me, the next animal to love will be a senior pooch. I have a friend doing that now for a "hospice dog" and she will do it again. I will teach myself to do bonding and releasing.
I personally don't believe in treating old animals for cancer and such (unless it's a superficial tumor that can be surgically removed). People are always ignoring the fact that domesticated animals are STOIC and don't complain vocally about their pain. Yet some almost brag about putting pets through chemo. Digression, sorry.
My next-pet ideas (Pooch is fine, just aging) include:
--Asking my vet to keep me in mind when he hears about small pooches that may need a place
--Sending a letter to the Directors of a few Assisted Living communities, likewise (with references). Some residents have small pets and that's always an issue when the resident is moved to memory or nursing care.
--Asking a reputable rescue group how I can volunteer (they put you at top of list)
I wish I could fix this, guys. I'm just rambling on about ways to find hope and hugs and love, because that's the only actual solution to the sorrow, imo. And we each have to haul ourselves forward toward what we need. I wish I could pack it up in a box and send it to each of you.
love and hugs
Hops
