Amber, back on MAY 14TH (!!@#$%^&*!!), you asked me some very kind questions and somehow I sailed past them and never responded. I'll take the chance now! And btw, asking questions like that is uber caring, imo. I'm grateful you did/do.
....Hops? Are you content and reasonably happy with your current life? Sounds like you're still keeping a hand in with gardening, you have Pup for companionship - reliable assistance for the things that are important and loads more activity involving people than I'd be comfortable with. How's the writing going?
I'd say content in some ways -- notably the positive side of living alone, with my escapism and self-indulgences intact. I have no to-do lists or urgent projects, though in spring/summer I do usually do a few household improvements. This afternoon I'm getting a quote on replacing half my cork kitchen floor (dumb original choice) which a burst pipe ruined. Ouch. The other accomplishment, silly as it sounds, was getting the guy to take a big batch of annuals and plant them in my refurbished old wheelbarrow that my parents bought in the 40's. It's a gentle yellow with white handles and legs, funnily broad, etc. I always enjoyed using it (when I had a back) but the rust was marching in. Now it's a color explosion with coral begonia in the middle and all sorts of random colors around that. Looks really joyful.
I spent a fair amount on Slow Former Handyman, but it got done. Only downside for me was that I literally could do nothing (my back). Couldn't grab the bag of potting soil, bend over several times to load the barrow, bend again to plant anything. I had to hire help for all of it. Positive again, I think it was last fall I had him install the new lovely black screen/storm door to the patio, which makes me happy every time I use it.
NOT content with the ADD-avoidance of home tidying/decluttering/paperwork processing, which I know I've mentioned a lot. The degree to which I can let such things slide is not normal, and I am approaching it by pondering one square foot at a time. Does that mean I do it daily? Nope. It's shaming or self-shaming and it's the #1 thing I grieve, really. This little house has lovely bones and could be beautiful, and I had many dreams of visual serenity and happiness such that I've let slide.
I know my D has been back on my mind a great deal since I heard from her half-bro that she thought she'd be coming to live with me again since she told him she has "no other options" -- I think truthfully -- so I don't know if she's safe. Making that decision (answering No, via him) is the hardest thing I've done in a long time. I stand by it, but it feels like cancer of the heart. He didn't follow up as he said he would but when I asked, he said she hadn't responded further. She was at one point in an abusive relationship when she wound up in a hotel-stay program for the homeless, and as far as I know her time there ran out. I have no idea about her income (I think disability?) but know her health is really bad. Her instability, physical pain/s, steroid dependency (Addison's) and bipolar are endless miseries. Put more simply, although highly intelligent she's also crazy. Breaks my heart.
Pup's companionship has mellowed and gotten to be a real joy, after a very rough start. He's still not well trained because, you guessed it, a lot of repetitive bending. But he's no longer eating everything in reach including furniture legs, he's much much sweeter and has discovered the real joys of cuddling. He's about 15 lbs max, whew, and makes me laugh every single day. He's got a crazy face (mildly undershot jaw and frequent Rodney Dangerfield expressions), a wonderful curved-up tail, and about three different breed-coats, so sometimes he looks like a dandelion on a bad day, which makes him even cuter. He's pure people bait because the total effect is cuteness overload. He was bouncing straight up and down inside the storm door recently as a delivery guy came to the porch and the man was just grinning ear to ear. To have a pet make people so happy is very joyful for me.
Writing's slow, which I don't mind, but my work is maturing too. I have one about my fundamentalist preacher relative that I'm really proud of, so intend to actually Send It Out! Mirabile dictu.
That was fun, in the Me Me Me department, and I'm really happy you asked!
Hugs
Hops
