Why the last message, particularly? Is it the part about criticism? The response of the previous poster WAS a criticism. I cast no blame for the delivery of that criticism at all - I did not think it was wrong of the poster to deliver it (I thought that was clear, but sometimes I don''t communicate as well as I'd like to).
In my defense, I am not chasing anyone around on the message board trying to convert them. I am responding to posts within this thread with the assumption that if someone responds, they wish to engage in the conversation.
For me, ideal responses would be conceptual rather than defensive, and some have been more objective than others.
I guess I am also assuming that if you do not wish to explore the notion of, um. let's call it "Humanizing Your Narcissist(s) as a Means of Humanizing Yourself and Achieving True "I" Voice", you will probably just not visit the thread. Also assuming that if you believe your position justified than you don't really need me to tell you you're right, ageee with you, or accept chastisement to support it.
Although it may seem like it to you, I am chastizing no one. I am, however, noting that the capacity to de-humanize and marginalize is one that is in all of us - and risky, especially if one subscribes to the "contagion" theory of Narcissism. If you want to look at it from a Demonic N perspective, this is just the sort of thing a Narcissisist would love to see - for the rest of us to lose our capacity for compassion and objectivity. That's what Demons do, according to lore - tempt humans to behave badly toward one another, whispering justifications in the ears of the vulnerable and disenfranchised.
I think in that respect, Vaknin the Big-Self-Important-though-completely-uncredentialed-N is doing his job well - encouraging intolerance and lay-diagnostics, dooming any and all who harm us or betray us to the hell of hopelessness, telling us our best defense is to not accept the Humanity of our (possible) Narcissists, but instead to hate and loathe them because they deserve it - and by doing so, give up our own humanity. I don't doubt he chuckles at the way the "N"-victim phenomenon has spread like wildfire all over the net. What better "supply" than that?
As for re-hashing, that is true and not true at the same time. New ideas, such as my take on "I voice", have been introduced gradually as the thread unfolds, and often as I develop a new idea I relate it to an older one.
Many of the ideas I am presenting, especially as concern the affirmative "I" voice, are directly inspired by the essays and articles associated with this board, which unlike those of Vaknin, are reasoned, thoughtful, inclusive - and above all - hopeful.
This is just one thread mixed in with a whole host of others. As it was more or less said to me, you don't have to visit where you risk being offended.
I tend to bail out very quickly when I read angry "N"-directed words at the beginning of a post and just don't respond and rarely read further, since it does not serve my conviction that true voice cannot be acquired by focusing on an "other". If this thread is contrary to your convictions, then you would be well-served, probably (your call, really), to simply write me off as misguided and ignorant and move on.
You might be right, even - but my objective, as spelled out above, is somewhat just to articulate to myself - and if I'm lucky, find someone who feels similarly enough to explore the ideas with me.
I think we all post largely in self-service of some sort - whether it is to vent, grieve, commune, explore ideas, or simply share our opinions and experiences.
I am no different.
