Anything

[Portia guest]

Hi Bones, please don't search!

I checked the stack of books on my stairs and found the DB example in Laing 'Self and Others' as you described it.

I was wrong about the one with the conversation between schizophrenics in it - that's another Laing book.

Recently read Lauren Slater "Opening Skinner's Box - great psychological experiments of the 20th century". Easy reading...compared to Laing I think. 

Re: television ads about double-binds.......(that was you, yes?).....half the time I watch tv and think television itself is double-binding me: 'news', advertising, product-placement etc.....okay, I'm half joking. Television isn't quite that clever really.

[Anansi]

Hey, check this short feel good video out:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-818944862742874918&q=autistic

Anansi

[Bones]

Hi Bones, please don't search!

I checked the stack of books on my stairs and found the DB example in Laing 'Self and Others' as you described it.

I was wrong about the one with the conversation between schizophrenics in it - that's another Laing book.

Recently read Lauren Slater "Opening Skinner's Box - great psychological experiments of the 20th century". Easy reading...compared to Laing I think. 

Re: television ads about double-binds.......(that was you, yes?).....half the time I watch tv and think television itself is double-binding me: 'news', advertising, product-placement etc.....okay, I'm half joking. Television isn't quite that clever really.

Thanks, Portia!

Glad you found the information.

Bones

[Sela]

Hi Bones:

Sorry you're not feeling safe enough to talk.  Take your time.  No worries.

Looking forward to getting to know you better when you feel more comfy.

  Sela

[Bones]

Hi Bones:

Sorry you're not feeling safe enough to talk.  Take your time.  No worries.

Looking forward to getting to know you better when you feel more comfy.

  Sela

Thanks, Sela.

It'll take me a while before I feel safe enough to really open up.  Learned that lesson the hard way growing up with an Nmother, Nbrother and numerous other dysfunctional family members.

Bones

[Sela]

Hi Bones:

Sometimes I almost envy the ability to use terms like Nmother, Nbrother, etc.  My FOO was definitely dysfunctional but it's like some strango guilt thingy that happens when I try to label any of them as N, even in my own head.  Maybe I'm afraid/trained to expect/unconsciously waiting for the slap in the head that would surely come for speaking out, as a child, and especially the "Lickin' " I would get if I were heard to use a shameful term ( such as the dreaded ....N....which I had no clue about, ofcourse  ).

Your post there got me thinking about that.  Why don't I just say:  "Nfather" ?  My excuse is usually that I'm not qualified to diagnose but one would have to be a total numb skull to miss it.  He defined every symptom and then some!!

Anyway,  so sorry for all you had to endure growing up in such a situation, which I bet wasn't nice or easy (and for whatever else even now may still be going on).    There's no rushing here so whenever you want to speak.....go for it.  And in case you're worried, you can't possibly mess up more often or as well as I have but you can try!!

(((((((Bones)))))))

  Sela

on edit:  why don't I spell check.....first??   

[Bones]

Hi Bones:

Sometimes I almost envy the ability to use terms like Nmother, Nbrother, etc.  My FOO was definitely dysfunctional but it's like some strango guilt thingy that happens when I try to label any of them as N, even in my own head.  Maybe I'm afraid/trained to expect/unconsciously waiting for the slap in the head that would surely come for speaking out, as a child, and especially the "Lickin' " I would get if I were heard to use a shameful term ( such as the dreaded ....N....which I had no clue about, ofcourse  ).

Your post there got me thinking about that.  Why don't I just say:  "Nfather" ?  My excuse is usually that I'm not qualified to diagnose but one would have to be a total numb skull to miss it.  He defined every symptom and then some!!

Anyway,  so sorry for all you had to endure growing up in such a situation, which I bet wasn't nice or easy (and for whatever else even now may still be going on).    There's no rushing here so whenever you want to speak.....go for it.  And in case you're worried, you can't possibly mess up more often or as well as I have but you can try!!

(((((((Bones)))))))

  Sela

on edit:  why don't I spell check.....first??   

Thanks, Sela!

For now, since I'm sensing conflict on the Board, I'm going to lurk until I feel safe enough to say anything substantial.

Bones

[Sela]

No worries Bones.  I was just sort of rambling away there....no pressure....really.

Well, I've been away holiday--ing and relaxing.  Popped in to read a bit and I'm off again for a few days.  Wow!  There are pages and pages!  Don't know if I'll get time to really catch up.

Just wanted to say Hi to all and hope you are enjoying your summer. 

I was surfing and found this link (which is really a site devoted to coaching in business but I like this list and thought I'd share it anyway). 

http://topten.org/public/BL/BL58.html

Kind of an interesting new goal .......to become the person my dog thinks I am?    Gave me a giggle anyway.

  Sela

[Bones]

No worries Bones.  I was just sort of rambling away there....no pressure....really.

Well, I've been away holiday--ing and relaxing.  Popped in to read a bit and I'm off again for a few days.  Wow!  There are pages and pages!  Don't know if I'll get time to really catch up.

Just wanted to say Hi to all and hope you are enjoying your summer. 

I was surfing and found this link (which is really a site devoted to coaching in business but I like this list and thought I'd share it anyway). 

http://topten.org/public/BL/BL58.html

Kind of an interesting new goal .......to become the person my dog thinks I am?    Gave me a giggle anyway.

  Sela

Thanks, Sela.

I can venture to say that I am identifying with a LOT of things being said here (i.e. parent with OCPD plus NPD).

Bones

[moonlight52]

Hi Sela and Bones ,

This is a great link for keeping a good mental attitude all though the day.One reason it is easy for me well the steps are so simple.

It's not that I can not grasp higher concepts its just easy to use.

So Sela copy of this is on my fridge along with H&H and Storm and copy of Certain Hope all clipped togather for our family to heal.



moon   

[Certain Hope]

((((((Moon)))))) thank you. I feel honored and blessed. Never hung on a frig before 

Love,
Hope

[Sela]

Hi all:

Hey Bones.  Identifying with others/experiences is a great start.  It was for me, anyhow.  Didn't feel so alone then.  (((Bones))).

Hiya Moon:  Ya.  Those seem like such simple steps eh?  I love it when I find stuff that is simply listed like that.  It seems like it's doable and not such a big deal.  It seems possible and maybe with not as much difficulty as previously thought?  Exactly as you put it Moon, "easy to use".  I love stuff like that!!

CH:  Definately an honour and a blessing.  Me neither.  Never had my post hung on a fridge before.  Aw well, the credit goes to  Bruce St. John, in the case of my post (link to his stuff).  Still, I'm glad I posted it.  I'm glad more people than myself found it helpful.

I do think increasing the time spent in positive states will improve whole a lot more than personal productivity.  I think it helps make life here better in so many ways.

Have a great day all!

  Sela

[moonlight52]

The Rose Family           by robert lee frost

The rose is a rose,
And was always a rose
But now the theory goes,
That the apple's a rose,
And the pear is and so's
The plum, I suppose
The dear only knows
What will next prove a rose
You ,of cource ,are a rose -
But were always a rose

Love to all
moon

[Hops]

That's lovely, Moon.

 
Hops

[Plucky]

Not long ago my mother, the N, came for a visit.  One day she decided to make breakfast for the kids and ordered me to stay in bed and 'rest'.    I listened to the conversation from the kitchen,  which consisted of her trying to convince my kids to eat something they don't like, and which would take an hour to prepare, whilst they descended into low blood sugar hell.  Finally my son skipped into my room, jumped into bed with me, and whispered in my ear, 'Grandma is completely crazy sometimes!'.  I love it! 
Plucky