Hello everyone:
Just peeking in after being away for a week and for once, I remembered to check back, at least in this thread, where I posted. Can't promise I'll remember to check every place so I hope if others posted to me and I miss posting back that you'll please accept my appology for forgetting.
October wrote:
Well, I will try to imagine what is going on inside the t's head in this situation, by the nightmare expedient of making my Nmum into the therapist, which incidentally she would loooooooove.
T asks 'Tell me about your childhood'
You start to answer '.................
T spaces out, assumes martyred air and thinks 'Nobody had a childhood worse than mine. Nobody really understands me. (sighs) What is the point of even trying to help this stupid person, when they don't have the first idea what they are saying, or what I could do if only they would answer the questions right. What a waste of time this is! I wonder what I should have for dinner tonight?'
You say something like 'Did you hear what I said?' You have to say it two or three times, and eventually get through.
T gets cross at the interruption. 'Of course I heard. Carry on' Spaces out again.
Continues for 1 hour. Result for someone suffering from trauma; retraumatisation. No wonder it took a week to recover.
October, are you sure you weren't a fly on the wall of my therapy sessions with this lunatic??
Thankyou for validating my experinece. It was very much as you have described except that I was terrified of this woman and the power she had over my situation (or the power I thought she had--which turned out to be waaaayyyy less than I had been told), and I have not really tried to imagine what was going on in her head with any detail. I was tooooo into trying to get a grip at the time and I just felt traumatized and retraumatized, as you put it, each and every time I went there. Later, when I felt healthier, I just buried my memory of her in a drawer maked: "batty" and left it there. Probably not the best way I could have concluded our experience together.....I'm sure I felt angry for her "treatment" of me and a whole wack of stuff, but I'm also pretty sure I banged her head a few times when I visualized it on my bongo drums, so I'm fairly over most of it.
Still....knowing that someone else can imagine such a thing happening and can understand how I felt......really feels good October. Thankyou.
Bunny: The therapist was mine.
This therapist should not have a license to practice.
Yes. There are even better reasons for removing it....for example...she insisted that I call my doctor and have my medication changed from one that seemed to me to be working ok... to one she was sure I should be on. She had no licence to issue medication orders and no place directing me or anyone else to take anything. She was so adamant about it and so positive that this is what I must do that I did what she said and called my doctor and relayed her instructions.
I took one pill and that night.....I thought I was going to die!!! Truly!!Every single nerve in my body felt
on fire and I have never experienced such terrifying anxiety, or horrible fear-filled thinking ....even including the abuse I suffered as a child. I felt utterly frozen in my bed, paralysed, unable to move, this awful burning every where, horrified and I layed there for 7 hours without moving. I would have called for an ambulance had I been able. When it wore off, I was so relieved and thankful to be alive!!! That night I took the stuff my doctor had originally prescribed and told myself it would be ok to ignor my therapist's instructions.
At our next session, I told her what had happened and she asked me to bring in the bottle of that medication, so she could give it to someone less fortunate, since I wasn't going to be using it!!!!!
I knew it was a strange request but I did as she said. I was in such a state of shock, confusion and fear that I really acted a bit like a zombie.
I'm very sorry you were abused and harmed by this individual. Can you complain to her licensing board? Have you ever told your current counselor about this loser?
Thanks Bunny. I could complain but I did give her very personal information and I feel so
not like having to deal with anything she might decide to bring up, or with any picture of me she might decide to try to create, that I'm just not up to dealing with it. Besides.....how can I prove anything? Her word against mine. And years have since passed.
I told my next counsellor all of what I've said here and more and she suggested that possibly sometime in the future I might decide to make a complaint. When I feel strong enough.
Ya.
Maybe....in my next life.
Even that counselor fell suddenly ill and was forced to retire quickly, so she in not an available witness. And my doctor has also since retired.
Mudpuppy: Sorry to hear you were feeling under the weather. Hope you are much better now!
Patz: God bless you. May the sun soon shine on you and your son!
GFN